#suarg

I didn't know what it was, and even though I like the idea, idk how I would write the comments or what have you, but I think I'd like to do a little ficlet thing...

An Update

The TubeTube video starts with Steven backing away from the frame. It's dim in the room, but Steven is illuminated just enough that his expressions are readable. The way the frame is set indicates it's Connie's computer on the bed a small distance away. He's quiet for a moment, looking at his hands in his lap. He then looks up, and begins talking:

"I haven't made too many videos in a while... So this will probably be a suprise for all those people who think my life is fake." He sounds bitter here, and tired; as if reiterating something he doesn't think he can change.

"...But... I got to tell someone. The Gems don't remember. Connie was there, and I don't think she's ready to talk about it. She keeps looking me over like I'm about to die. And I can't tell Dad."

Steven has been gesturing as he talks, and now looks back at the screen with a tired smile on his face. "I found out what happens when my," his smile and tone slowly slip, "gem is... taken from me." He's looking into nothing now, remembering. His hands clutch at his shirt. "Pulled out of my body."

"I... have never felt so," Steven struggles to find words as tears build in his eyes, "empty, tired, sick. I--I wasn't whole! I--" One hand clutches his shirt as the other wipes at one of his eyes.

He's quiet for a moment. Not hiding his tears, but trying not to make a mess. Trying to calm down so he can talk clearly, "Sorry. "

He clears his throat, "But, that's also... Some of the most solid proof that: I'm not my mom." He smiled weakly, and it gets a bit stronger and sadder as he talks, "My gem, is me. It cycles through past forms like all of them do: Pink Diamond, then 'Rose Quartz,' and then it turned into me."

He laughed a little, "I was so weak. Connie had to carry me to my gem-self." He had a realisation there, "I was so focused on him, I don't think I ever thanked her."

He shook his head and refocused. "...He was so warm." He glanced at the screen, "Gems are usually a little warm--like a rock under the sun for a while--since they're just light with mass; but he--"

Steven blinked, "He was warm in a different way. And the same way. --" He looked agitated. Back at the screen, he delivers his words as serious as he can, "I can't...describe how touching your--your own energy, your own power, your own--no he's not my soul, I was still very much...me." He paused trying to put that into words too, but seemed to give up.

"But, coming back together... Becoming me, with the knowledge that I am wholly me? Was...relieving. I... thought I was--"

Proper lights came on.

"Steeeeveen?" Pearl called from off screen.

Steven came forward to stop the video, while his other hand wiped away tears. He whispers, "Bye."