#stylishbutdefinitelyillegal

These quiet moments of safety and peace were becoming increasingly infrequent this cycle. Tang did his best to be a comforting presence for his son, but the threat of their enemy always loomed in the back of everyone’s minds.

Tang looked at the clock and sighed. If he was going to get any work done before the shop opened he would have to get going soon. Tang placed a kiss against Xiaotian’s forehead before standing to leave.

“Baba?”

Xiaotian was looking up at Tang with half open eyes, obviously still more asleep than awake.

“Go back to sleep, Xiaotian,” Tang said as he resumed running his hand through his kid’s fur. “I was just checking on you before I left.”

“Where ya goin’?”

“I need to head to the shop early to do some paperwork. You don’t need to be up yet.”

“M’kay,” Xiaotian slurred, already falling back asleep from the sensation of Tang stroking his head. “Be safe.”

“I will.” Tang leaned over and placed another kiss on Xiaotian’s head. “I love you.”

“Love you.”

Tang’s heart leapt. It was the first time Xiaotian had confessed his feelings to him this cycle. He smiled down at the once more sleeping figure.

He probably wouldn’t remember this conversation later, but Tang was proud of how much progress Xiaotian was making. The amount of emotional trauma he had been subjected to this cycle was immense. That his loving spirit hadn’t been extinguished was a miracle. Tang was going to do his absolute best to nurture that spirit back to full strength no matter what.

Tang left the apartment and made his way to his antique and artifact repair shop. He was Tripitaka once again this cycle and seemed to have developed a knack for tinkering with relics over the years.

Pigsy, in contrast, was a semi-retired mercenary who liked to hang out at the shop when he had nothing else to do. It was an interesting change in dynamics with Tang being the busy one with a shop while Pigsy loitered around distracting him.

Not that he minded seeing his husband for most of the day.

Tang unlocked the shop and made his way to the back to put away his coat. He picked up several sheets of paper and began working on checking his inventory.

If it had only been Pigsy and himself swapped around, Tang might have found this cycle to be enjoyable. Unfortunately for nearly everyone, that wasn’t the case.

Tang frowned as he absently made a note to order more clockwork springs for his personal repair kit.

This timeline was… pretty bad. It seemed that there was some new crisis every week that would leave horrible emotional damage on anyone involved. Worse yet was the demon who was responsible for the majority of the trauma.

The Monkey King.

Tang shuddered as he remembered the first time he saw the cruel expression of the monster that wore the face of a member of his family.

Tang thought the cycles where he was the villain were bad enough, but at least he could choose to be reformed.

The Monkey King was a bloodthirsty and malicious foe that made any evil version of himself seem tame in comparison.

This anomaly in personality was the result of a plan hatched by Wukong and Macaque hundreds of years ago. Early on during the Journey to the West, the two monkeys had swapped places, with no one being the wiser. So while Wukong was off plotting his revenge against Heaven, Macaque was the one who learned humility and love from Tripitaka and the others.

The end result was the Monkey King being sealed under a mountain with his own staff by Macaque with the assistance of Queen Iron Fan and Red Son who wielded the Samadhi Fire.

Not without a steep price, however.

Macaque had lost his right eye. Red Son had almost been consumed by the sacred flames until Guanyin placed a hoop around the boy’s neck, sealing the flames and unfortunately his memories of being a demon as well. His parents were forced to keep him a bit at arms length to prevent the seal from breaking.

Tang clenched his pen as he thought about the more recent events.

Mei, who was being emotionally neglected by her parents, had witnessed Xiaotian’s adoptive father, the Yellow Wind Demon, being freed from his mink form. She had attempted to fight him, only to be blown away. Once she returned with her family’s spear, she managed to force the demon to retreat. Macaque had then proclaimed he would take her on as his student.

But the worst was yet to come.

Yellow Wind Demon tricked Xiaotian into removing the staff that was sealing the Monkey King away. It was then that the horrible truth had been revealed.

Xiaotian was a clone of the Monkey King.

Tang had to stop and take a few breaths as nausea rushed through him. Luckily Xiaotian had become independent enough that the Monkey King couldn’t just dispel him, but that didn’t stop Tang from having nightmares about it.

Mei and Red Son had rushed off to save Xiaotian from Monkey King’s clutches, and Tang had followed after them. The pure hate the demon monkey had sent his way when he had recited the tightening sutra for the first time in all the cycles to rescue the kids would be seared into his memory for years to come.

Xiaotian had turned against his creator and now lived with Tang and Pigsy in their apartment. The trauma of being a copy of that monster was still strong, but Tang intended to smooth it out with endless kindness and love.

Tang pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes as the image of a sinisterly grinning Monkey King filled his head once more.

He had been extremely lucky that he hadn’t been recognized as Tripitaka by the demon. He had no doubt the Monkey King would then stop at nothing to hunt him down for turning Macaque against him. Not that it had been too hard once he and the others had pointed out to Macaque how abusive the Monkey King was in their relationship.

Tang sighed as he tried to focus on his inventory list.

He hated feeling this powerless. The Monkey King was the most terrifying adversary he had faced across the timelines. Worse than even Lady Bone Demon and the Mayor. He was going to get ulcers from how worried he constantly felt.

The bell above the front door chimed, signalling an entering customer. Had he forgotten to keep the sign flipped to closed?

“I’m sorry,” Tang said, not turning from his paperwork. “But the shop is closed at the mome-”

A paw clasped around his mouth and a strong arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him close against someone. Tang dropped his papers as his glasses fell from his face.

“Hello Tripitaka,” a horrifyingly familiar voice said.

Tang turned in terror to see the sneering face of the Monkey King leaning close into his own.

“I missed you so much.”

No no no no no!

How had he found out?!

“Let’s go find Liu Er and the kid and go home now, hmm?”

Tang’s blood ran cold.

Monkey King didn’t want him dead. It was so much worse than that.

He wanted Tang to be a part of his twisted family with Macaque and Xiaotian.

The thought of being used against his old friend and son to make them comply made Tang’s pulse quicken.

He couldn’t let that happen!

Adrenaline rushed through him as previous years of fighting experience kicked in.

Tang shoved his foot back into his captor’s, managing to catch Monkey King by surprise and push him off balance. The strength of the Earth suddenly seemed to flow through him as he grabbed the demon’s arms and managed to throw him over his head into one of the displays on the wall.

Instinctively, Tang raised his hands as another power came forth. He quickly called out the tightening sutra while casting a binding spell simultaneously. The Monkey King snarled in pain as his fillet squeezed his head and ropes of golden-yellow light wrapped around him.

Tang waved his hands and recited another spell, summoning several domed barriers of light around the demon as he knew the ropes wouldn’t hold for long. He would worry about how he was doing this once he was out of danger and not running on autopilot

“You’ll regret that!” The Monkey King bared his fangs at Tang as he strained against the magic ropes, several of them already beginning to snap.

“The only thing I regret, Wukong,” Tang said coldly, his hands glowing golden-yellow as he began to manipulate the Earth beneath the shop, “was not being a good enough teacher to show you the error of your ways.”

The Monkey King snarled in defiance as two enormous slabs of rock burst through the floor and fused together around the barriers holding the demon. Tang rushed forward and placed the strongest seal he knew onto the makeshift prison.

It wouldn’t keep the insanely powerful demon trapped permanently, but it would buy Tang enough time to get to his husband and son and escape to somewhere safe.

Tang picked his glasses up and ran from the shop, placing another seal on the building itself for good measure. A few of the friendlier shopkeepers from the neighboring buildings were standing outside.

“Are you alright Tang?”

“We heard a loud crash coming from your shop.”

“The Monkey King is trapped inside,” Tang said a bit breathlessly. The shopkeepers looked panicked. “He’s after me. I need to get my family to safety. Can you make sure this street is evacuated before he escapes?”

“Holy shit!”

“Y-yeah! We’ll take care of it! Just go get somewhere safe!”

“Thank you. You all might want to stay away for a while as well in case he tries to use you to get to me,” Tang said. They all paled a little at that and quickly left after wishing him good luck.

Tang took off at a sprint towards his apartment. He had left his phone in the back of the shop with his coat. Hopefully it was still early enough that neither Pigsy or Xiaotian had left yet.

The adrenaline was quickly wearing off, and he felt the powers he had used ebb away entirely. Tang would have normally been endlessly fascinated at this new development, but the threat of the Monkey King was still hanging over him. He would have to examine what had just happened later once they were all somewhere safe.

There was an explosion in the distance, followed by an enraged roar.

Tang grit his teeth as he ignored the stitch in his side and ran faster.

He really didn’t like this timeline.

----------

And here we have the second most popular AU by @winterpower98, the absolute angst-fest that is the Swap AU.

The scene where Wukong shows up is directly referencing this comic that got commissioned by @stylishbutdefinitelyillegal.

I’m not sure if I managed to capture Tang’s thoughts on this timeline clearly or if I just managed to give a brief, crappy summary of it instead. :/

And what’s up with those powers from past cycles showing up? That’s certainly never happened before.

Guess we’ll have to wait and see!

“How did you get in here?” he croaked through what felt like sandpaper lodged in his voice box.

“Through the door, bud.” Geiszler said with worrying gentleness. “You left it… kind of open.”

Oh yes. Hermann had a vague memory of braving the hallway, bundled in roughly three quarters of the clothes in his closet and making it about three steps before scrambling back to the bathroom of his quarters. Details re: closing the door behind himself were hazy.

“Go.” Hermann said, mustering all his strength to shove Newt away. ‘Shove’ being perhaps too strong a word for it. Newt easily caught his hands.

“Oh my god!” Newt laughed at his efforts, but stood nonetheless. “Oh no, Hermann! It’s like wrestling a kitten. Aw, buddy.” Instead of leaving he went to fill a glass of water, presumably for Hermann to drink.

The idea of putting anything in his mouth at that moment was unthinkable and had to be a malicious plot on Newt’s part. “You’re a horrible person and I hate -” A wave of nausea overrode his ability to speak where even the sandpaper throat had failed.

Newt came back and placed the glass of water cruelly in his line of sight.

“Just leave me to die.” Hermann moaned.

“Oh my god. You fucking drama queen. Just let me do this.”

“If you cared about me, you wouldn’t do this”

“Bold of you to assume I care about you.” Newt said, refolding the damp cloth to uncover the cooler side, and pressing it to Hermann’s forehead, “I just can’t do shit until you get back to me with that diagram.”

“Bollocks.”

Newt gaped in astonished delight, “please say that again so I can record it.”

Hermann ignored him. “Isn’t there some piece of…” he trailed off.

“Piece of what.”

Hermann just shook his head. He had been about to ask whether Newt had anything to dissect, but couldn’t safely dwell in the mental image of the quivering fluorescent mass of gelatinous bulbs and sinews.

“Fine. Don’t say.” Newt helped Hermann sit up, and Hermann didn’t have the strength to resist him. “Just drink this glass of water and I’ll leave you alone.”

Hermann took the glass of water and glared petulantly at Newt

“You have to stay hydrated. I know you don’t want to, but trust me, this is secret biologist  wisdom we learn on the first day of class: mammals need fluids.”

“If you make me drink this I will leave the PPDC and you’ll never see me again.”

“Oh Hermann, Hermann! Stop making empty promises! You’ll break my heart! Imagine how devastated I’ll be to see you walk into the lab in perfect health three to five days from now! I’ll be like, ‘What! Weren’t you leaving! I thought I’d finally gotten rid of you!’ and - woah buddy slow down on that water.”

Hermann had started chugging the glass of water during Newt’s little monologue, and now Newt was taking the glass from his lips.

“You’ll make yourself sick if you drink that fast.”

Hermann grinned, feeling absolutely ghoulish, “so eager to spend more time with me?”

Newt grimaced and seemed about to say something when Hermann interrupted his thought.

“Move.” he said with quiet urgency.

Newt did as he was told and Hermann leapt from the bed with all the agility he had left in his body and made it to the bathroom just in time.

Newt respectfully stayed back in the other room. “Ok.” he called once Hermann was done, “make that two glasses of water.”

Hermann groaned but made his way back to the bed and did as he was told. Newt sat next to him chattering amiably and enduring Hermann’s spiteful glares for the next hour until he finished the prescribed two glasses of water. Newt then gave him a pill for the aches and another glass of water.

“I’m just going to leave this by your bed. Try to drink it when you wake up. Because you should sleep now.”

Hermann huffed and nestled deeper under the covers. A part of him sensed that the fever was making him a little meaner than he wanted to be, but he was too exhausted to care.

“I can… check in, tomorrow? If you want?” Newt said. If Hermann didn’t know any better he might have said there was hope in his voice. “It’s not like your quarters are out of the way or anything.” he shrugged.

“Please don’t. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don’t need to be babied.” Hermann snapped through a raspy whisper.

“Alright. Jeeze.” Newt stood to leave and lingered by the door, smiling “You better get better quick or I’ll start drawing on your chalkboards.” And again, his voice sounded incongruously gentle and warm.

“Don’t” Hermann managed.

Newt just laughed and closed the door, holding it in such a way that it clicked quietly despite the heavy metal.

so, i wrote the italics as a kind of ambiguous thing in the beginning of the fic. to be interpreted as newt’s thoughts, or maybe even hermann’s. but as the fic progresses, as you see more and more of them, they sort of shift into the precursors’ (or the version of them in newt’s head, anyway) thoughts. which is what i wrote them to be, as intertwined with newt’s as they are. and maybe not even necessarily verbal thoughts, but more a sort of subconscious id or just, desire or something. but anyway, it’s sort of up to the reader’s interpretation. whatever makes you the most sad, you know?

if you want my honest to god take on what newt’s thinking for the whole thing? (which again, is left TOTALLY up to the reader’s interpretation, so this is not telling anyone how to read it) it is: newt is and has been manipulating hermann for an extremely long time. he doesn’t ever want to bring hermann back to his place (alice is there, he can’t), so he always comes up with a reason to make hermann stop, decline, run. every time hermann’s getting too close, newt does something to push him away. and every time hermann gets too far, he does something to pull him back. 

now, does he want to see hermann at or after the conference? maybe. he’s so goddamn lonely, painfully so. but if hermann gets too close, his whole plan is in jeopardy. so, maybe he could have convinced hermann into a one night stand (or maybe not, he does know hermann pretty well), but i’m honestly not sure. i think, maybe, hermann has outlived his useful life for the precursors. they want the attention, the connection -- but does the risk outweigh the reward?

idk!!! what do you think? man i would love to know what other people thought about it. or how they thought it could have gone differently. or what they think is gonna happen. or ANYTHING.

anyway, loooooook: i just have a lot of feelings about -- this whole thing.