@stylesonly replied to your post “I’m not gonna reblog that infertility post and add my two cents...”
And as someone who has suffered infertility for 8years now, I’m here to tell you, it isn’t the end of the world and adoption and invetro and other fertility meds are always options and just because you are sad that you can’t do the one thing a woman is suppose to doesn’t mean the world, or you, are right. Infertility is okay. Adoption is okay. Never wanting kids is okay. Fertility treatments are okay. And for you to think otherwise, I am so sorry, but this world has taught you wrong and made you Feel bad about something that YOU can’t control. Infertility is NOT the end of the world. I never let it be mine, don’t let it be yours. You’ve got so many other options. Use them as an opportunity to either help make a child’s life better, or to make your life better. Don’t let this defeat you just because society has taught you that infertility is bad.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t society that taught me that infertility is bad. My three miscarriages and ectopic pregnancy have taught me that it’s bad. I had surgery to vacuum all the tissue from a failed pregnancy out of my uterus, I was given harsh immunosuppressant medications to get rid of my ectopic pregnancy that gave me such horrible cramps that I wound up in the ER, and was six hours away from needing surgery because my fallopian tube almost ruptured. I had fourteen blood draws in the span of three weeks, I’ve had numerous other uncomfortable procedures that I won’t go into detail about, all because my husband and I desperately want a baby.
Infertility meds are an option, and so far, they haven’t worked for us. If I chose to go the route of IVF it is covered by my insurance, but I’m not sure if I want to put my body through it. It requires weeks and weeks of eight or more medications that wreak havoc on your body, and then a surgical procedure to remove your eggs from your ovaries, after which you’re laid up for two to six weeks. For women who don’t have insurance coverage for IVF (which is most of them, I’m extremely lucky), it can cost around $20,000 for one cycle, plus all the lost pay from missing work due to the 20+ doctors appointments and the two weeks of recovery after the surgery, and even then it only works about 40% of the time in women under the age of 35.
Adoption usually takes about two years and can cost around more than $10,000 in my state. Surrogates are usually between $90,000 and $130,000. Some of these things just aren’t options for everybody. Children are expensive, many people save up for years for all the needs of a child, and then blow through it all just to try and get pregnant (with no guarantee it will work).
Never wanting kids is absolutely okay. But wanting kids and feeling completely betrayed by your body and modern medicine, and seeing people around you having no problem getting pregnant, hearing all the insensitive comments from strangers and coworkers, is not okay. Seeing the physical evidence of your body failing you as you pass the tissue of the failed pregnancy is traumatic beyond belief. I can’t even begin to describe the emotional toll this has taken on myself and my husband, so, for some women, infertility is not a big deal, but for me and my husband, it certainly is.
