#stvrvent

I swear people on this app don’t really talk that much about what it’s like to go through declining mental health.

1. I am not afraid to say I have done many bad things that involve sharp objects, and it truly doesn’t help. Feeling like shit is normal it happens, you feel like there is literally nothing you can do. And doing things like self-harm at the time felt like they help, but then it gets to a day you do it and it goes horribly wrong. But trust me there are tons of other coping mechanisms, and I’m everyone says this but my ideas are better. Eat pretzels 🥨 and drink fruit shoot. It works. And if you ever feel like doing it, just log on to tumblr dryer it works too.

2. People also don’t talk about how failed kids always feel, there are days I come back home and just cry cus it’s been shit. In my life I have attempted to take it away many times and thankfully I have been unsuccessful. Yes, there are many days you feel like : a failure, let down, burden, nuisance ; yea I know it sucks. But I can pinky swear you are probably not, and taking your life away is not worth it. Even if you feel like no one in the world cares there is always this tiny pathetic den, it kinda sucks right now but there’s time for growth.

3. Finally, parent and mental health don’t always go together very well. I am really grateful that I was lucky enough to have parent who take me to specialists who can help me with my many problems(anxiety, BPD, and ADHD), but I understand that’s not always the case. I mean I personally don’t mind venting or anything, I’m all ears and usually free. And it’s also at minor ages, mental health is hard and fucking sucks and from experience I 100% would not recommend. But like mental health KO if you know what I mean.

Uh yea don’t really know how to go about this uhm im fucking tired of life for starters people keep telling me “it’s gonna get better”, and other shit but it never has. All i want to do is kill myself my thoughts usually revolve around me causing others stress and/or, being a burden etc. It makes me think sometimes this life I live is it really worth it. There are so many people I don’t wanna leave behind but, at the same time my happiness counts too right.

The relapsing is getting worse, whether it’s on medication or using sharp objects. People have tried to convince me to stop doing it as frequently but it’s hard. I realise venting in this app is like really hard especially cus ik people I know might read this but oh well.

My parents don’t really help either ig, uh currently not on speaking terms with them. Kinda got into another argument with them, and panic attacks become more frequent because of them but there’e not much I can do.