“Y’know what’s gay culture?”

“No,”

“Struggling,”

“Co-signed,”

“Putting my name under that,”

“Ghostwrote it,”

“Half of you aren’t even gay,”

“Excuse you, we’re all gay’“

“Wha- you’re pansexual!”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you calling yourself gay?”

“Because if I say ‘I’m so pan’ half of the room will not get it, the other half of the room tells me that’s not a thing, and the other other half makes frying pan jokes.”

“...”

“Okay, but that’s like, three halves,”

“That’s how much I struggle: three halves.”

“You have completely lost me, all of you,”

“To be honest, I say I’m bisexual outright,”

“Now, what the fuck is that,”

“...”