After four years, hello.
First, I apologize for coming here only once. Those four years were filled with mixed course of events that I cannot easily sum up. But most importantly, I learned more about what this woman aspires to be. Now, I’m here again writing after surviving those wobbly, yet insightful, four years.
another long post ahead! <life update! + upcoming posts in the future!>
The upcoming blog posts!
I realized how I missed writing here—talking about the hits and misses of my life. Honestly, it’s a regret for not documenting these memories running in my head. Regardless, I am excited to continue this sporadically. Similar with other content creators or “influencers”, I also enjoy seeing durable products, places, and food being generously shared and advertised in the online community. I can see myself in some parts of it as I enjoy sharing reviews. However, in contrast with the trend, I have reservations that I wanted to protect and maintain. Sometimes, being in the public’s eye exposes one for praise or misinterpretation. Therefore, I am here. More than just my experiences, I want both the tangible and intangible to be shared as much as it’s valuable (and up to the best of my abilities lol). Basically, my quivering lips and tight jaws are announcing that from now on, upcoming posts may be varied–may it be food, places, or even music. I think I will be posting more because it’s fun. Writing for myself is fun. c:
Life Update!
Seeing the photos above gives me war flashbacks (as in war na may nagba-barilan sa laban ng buhay!). I entered college before I turned eighteen. Lost, frustrated, lethargic, and very disappointed with my disposition. I cannot believe I can finally say this—that the wound that was open for a long time can actually heal. It was difficult to be in denial that I dwelled so much to the fact that there’s really no other resolution to pursue my studies in my dream school. Defeated. I felt like I wil be defeated in my whole life because my college years won’t be spent within the school I deeply wanted for my program. But, for the second time, I cannot believe for saying this. I survived my four college years, passed the integrated review subjects, and now– an accountancy graduate! It was such a relief saying this. Honestly, there’s no grand memories for my commencement. No grand celebrations, no special awards, no special events. It’s my nth time announcing my completion to people, but it’s really different when I write it like this. It dawned on me that after all, it’s not much of a waste of not spending my academic years with that school. I can actually survive and thrive elsewhere. I may have craved for an environment that thrives and hones students with tenacity and excellence, but in the end, the goal is the same–to be a BSA graduate and pass the board exams.
Coming into the third year of accountancy was definitely a wall that I almost slipped my grip off. As what most accountancy students said and have been saying, you must prepare yourself for a worse battle you’re combatting against: the third year subjects. After all, auditing and all advance courses are coming in. The long problems cannot wait to welcome your tenacity. Frankly, accountancy made me realized that I am just a below average student, so I am just really thankful to heavens that I survived that era. As aforementioned, I could truly say that there wasn’t much fun in my college years as my school was not that enthusiastic, competitive, and competent in some aspects... like organizing events. That’s just one and there are so much more that needs improvement. But the turning point of my undergrad life and probably the most memorable one was having my internship at SGV. For some, they would say that it’s the usual and there’s not much of a difference from others’ past internship experiences. But as someone who has a low self-esteem and was humbled by this program, it was truly unexpected to be in a place surrounded by brilliant and productive people. I can’t believe I got in sa firm na nababasa ko lang sa articles & reddit lol. I’m not a fan of the firm—actually, kahit anong firm, wala akong favorite. But it’s fascinating to see in actual context those imaginations in your head whenever the professor talks about accounting practice. I guess, I thank God for granting me the courage to just try and shoot the shot without expectations. That courage led me to two accepted applications from big 4. Despite the good news, of course the actual internship experience is not all smiles. I had to go through my most dumbest self I could ever be in my life. But I learned that it was better to ask and show my hunger for learning than just being a wall. Friendships were made too. This particular point in my life proved me that we are all just a small dust in the universe and that the world is indeed big. It’s just getting bigger for me! More than that, I have finally experienced the dorm life! credits to my parents for finally saying yes lol Time flown restlessly and final term is already here. Integrated subjects were part of my second semester’s courses. We are partnered with Team PRTC and for the first time, I just learned to see myself getting excited watching video lectures of certain subjects (shawrawt aud, tax, & afar). Being carefree all my undergrad life, I just knew that this time, it’s going to be serious. My discipline is still compromised, but I just kept going. I wasn’t able to finished all the video lectures. But, I cannot let myself face the series of pre-board examinations with totally zero preparations. I just remember, I try to study as much as I can, as effective as possible, regardless of the time. It dawned on me that the subjects of this program can be enjoyable too… Kaya naman. Kahit nakakaubos, nakaka-tuyot ng utak, at nakaka-panghina, nakikita at nakikita mo ang sarili kong natutuwa dahil kakayanin. I am no saint. Until now, I still suck at building my discipline. But I don’t stop. I romanticize some days just to make each day bearable.
After finishing my degree, I am currently reviewing for the upcoming board exam. No date yet. I feel pressured. Haha. No one told me that the board exam preparation is this difficult. Being alone in this battle is difficult. Mental and emotional stamina are being conditioned, yet also needed to be powered up. But again, I don’t stop. As someone who was used to being swept by the stream, I am being introduced to a life that depends on the choices I make. Stability was the comfort. Yearly progress was the norm. Junior and senior years were just all about seizing teenage life and getting through each year with youthful energy. But this—the present, it’s uncertain and scary. Yet again, similar to all the phases in my life, I hope to survive and overcome the present me. And regardless of our status, I hope each one of us get through every scary big step in our lives and take all the learning as our essentials whenever life calls for it. 🤍
P.S. As someone who already gets tired just seeing the time stamp, I have learned to enjoy movies. I read a lot of online stories and music, too. Something 13-year old self would never believe and be mocking right now. :)
260303 @ café —lilang liham.
#accountingblr #bsa #cpale #cpa
