#studio talk

Women don’t have to be feminine

Women don’t have to be confined by gender roles or stereotypes

Women don’t have to have the body build people want them to have

Women can be thin, be thick, be muscular, be powerful, be who they choose

Women don’t have to put up with that bullshit or be trapped by the standards that people are so determined to put on them

Yes, this goes for trans women too.

摘自約翰．伯格（John Berger）〈畫室話語〉（Studio Talk )，《另類的出口》（The Shape of a Pocket）頁33，何佩樺譯。

Sometimes when I try to explain how trauma affects a person, it’s hard to describe in just a few words how it can impact someone daily, so I tried to create a sort of analogy that may help others who have not gone through deeply traumatizing events why some things feel bigger than perceived by a third party, why some things feel more difficult, and why some things hit harder than they do to other people

Imagine you are swimming across a body of water, trying to reach the other side. It already can be difficult swimming, but you’re trying your best to reach that other shore. When you’ve had a traumatic event, it feels like a heavy stone has been placed in one of your pockets, weighing you down, making it harder to keep afloat and reach that other side. That stone never goes away, and sometimes, more are added, even if they aren’t the same size. The weight adds up.

Some people swim past you saying “it’s really not that bad, you just have to try harder” or “you have to get over it and keep pushing,” but they only have a few grains of sand weighing them down, and can’t understand why you are struggling, why your breathing is labored, why you feel so tired.

People think because you’re still swimming, because you haven’t sunk, that you’re fine; they think that those stones have somehow magically fallen out of your pockets, that you’re “better.” They don’t realize you’ve just had to adapt and get stronger to keep your head above water. They don’t understand that you’re working that much harder to give the appearance that you don’t have a growing weight towing you down.

Some people don’t ever reach that shore. The weight becomes too much, they become exhausted, and the turbulent waters take them. People don’t understand, said they showed no signs of something being wrong when they just didn’t know what to look for. No one looks below the water surface to see how much is being carried with them, and many try to hide how much weight they are really carrying, so no one knows to even look.

Now imagine that despite all your best efforts, shore never seems to get closer. That shore of being “normal” or “better” after your experiences never comes. We work desperately to reach it, but it’s a constant journey that doesn’t end.