#student interviews

[click]

Kuneyasu: Thank you for coming in to speak with us today, Mr. Ikeda. I trust your new accommodations are fitting you nicely?

Ikeda: Oh yeah, for sure, I'm having a great time.

Kuneyasu: That's good to hear. I'd like to jump straight into the interview, if you don't mind?

Ikeda: So we're just gonna talk?

Kuneyasu: That's right.

Ikeda: That's boring though.

Kuneyasu: Well is there a change to the process you'd like to suggest?

Ikeda: How abouuuuuut... we talk, but we talk over a game?

Kuneyasu: A game?

Ikeda: [flipping through a deck of cards] Yep.

Kuneyasu: I-... Mr. Ikeda, did you take those from the resident lobby?

Ikeda: [cards flipping] Was I not allowed to?

Kuneyasu: It's... discouraged.

Ikeda: Nobody told me that.

Kuneyasu: Well- Either way, I'm not very good at hanafuda. Besides, I'd rather we went about this interview as per standard procedure.

Ikeda: C'mooooon. Think of all the time you're wasting trying to get me to talk to you when you could just play the game and get it over with!

[a beat]

Kuneyasu: Fine, but if I'm going to play, you're going to cooperate throughout this interview.

Ikeda: Sounds like a deal. We'll do three rounds.

Kuneyasu: Fine.

Ikeda: I'll let you pick first.

Kuneyasu: Generous. [places card] Willows.

Ikeda: Ooh, wisteria. That's April. Bad luck for you.

Kuneyasu: Right. You deal then. [after cards shuffle] Could you please state your full name and occupation for the record, Mr. Ikeda?

Ikeda: Sure thing. Ikeda Daiki, I'm an artist.

Kuneyasu: An artist? What kind?

Ikeda: I paint, I sculpt, that kind of thing. Visual arts. Fine arts.

Kuneyasu: I see. And do you enjoy that?

Ikeda: It pays the bills.

Kuneyasu: And yet you're certainly not a well-known artist to any sort of degree. I'll admit, I'd never even heard of you before now.

Ikeda: Hm. You think you're pretty funny.

Kuneyasu: What makes you say that?

Ikeda: I'm pretty sure you already know what I do, don't you?

Kuneyasu: I'm aware your particular style of art isn't super legal, if that's what you mean.

Ikeda: I recreate fine art, let's leave it at that.

Kuneyasu: You're an art forger.

Ikeda: And you're a kidnapper. What kind of moral high ground are you trying to claim here? You sound ridiculous right now.

Kuneyasu: I-

Ikeda: [interrupting] Three lights.

Kuneyasu: ...That was fast.

Ikeda: Too fast, honestly. Let's keep going. Koi-koi.

Kuneyasu: Right, uh... do you have any pre-existing medical conditions we should be aware of?

Ikeda: Nope. Healthy as can be.

Kuneyasu: Allergies?

Ikeda: Wouldn't know, haven't checked.

Kuneyasu: Phobias?

Ikeda: Well, right now I'm pretty afraid that your wife's gonna leave you when she realizes how much you suck at hanafuda. You're losing to a kid right now.

Kuneyasu: I- My wife?

Ikeda: I'm not reading your mind or something, dumbass. You're wearing a wedding ring.

Kuneyasu: I-... right, um, anyway-

Ikeda: [interrupting] Poetry slips, plus blue poetry slips, that's the round. Three lights, poetry slips, blue poetry slips, times two for the koi-koi, and that's twenty-six points.

Kuneyasu: ...I feel like I'm probably not coming back from that.

Ikeda: Probably not, no. New round.

Kuneyasu: And you've already got the willow light.

Ikeda: Rain man? Yeah, isn't that handy?

Kuneyasu: How have you been getting along with the other residents so far, Mr. Ikeda? Have you had the chance to meet them yet?

Ikeda: Barely. I woke up late. That Tsukigata guy's fun though. The rest of them aren't all that interesting.

Kuneyasu: Did you-

Ikeda: [interrupting] Cherry blossom viewing. Five points.

Kuneyasu: ...And you're ending the round there?

Ikeda: Yep. Next round.

Kuneyasu: There's no way for me to recover here.

Ikeda: Then I guess you'd better wrap up your questions pretty fast, doc.

Kuneyasu: Right, well- I'm not sure I've got much left to ask you, but I'm curious. Why is it you aren't particularly interested in the other students?

Ikeda: Because I'm pretty sure that wherever we are right now, we aren't supposed to be. That's a bit more pressing to me than whoever the hell these guys are.

Kuneyasu: Is that so? Where do you think we are right now?

Ikeda: That's... not a terrible question, actually. It looks like a hospital or something. Is it a hospital?

Kuneyasu: I'm afraid not.

Ikeda: Then why are you dressed like a doctor?

Kuneyasu: Well- I mean- I am a doctor, I'm just not a medical doctor.

Ikeda: Pfft, wow, awesome. So you're not a doctor.

Kuneyasu: I am.

Ikeda: Of what?

Kuneyasu: Psychology.

Ikeda: [dramatically] Oh, please, help! I'm having a heart attack! Someone get a doctor! Ah- [mimicking him] Ma'am! Excuse me! I'm a doctor!

Kuneyasu: Mr. Ikeda-

Ikeda: [interrupting] Of psychology!

Kuneyasu: [sigh] Hilarious.

Ikeda: Three lights. That's game. I win with thirty-six points, you lose with zero.

Kuneyasu: I did warn you that I wasn't very good.

Ikeda: Pretty sure that means our time's up, doc. Sending me back to my room now, I'm guessing?

Kuneyasu: Well first, Dr. Tatematsu will be escorting you back to the resident lobby to return those cards.

Ikeda: Pfft, whatever, sure.

Kuneyasu: After that, you'll be going back to your room, yes.

Ikeda: May we never meet again.

Kuneyasu: One can only dream.

[click]

Kuneyasu: Thank you for coming in to speak with us today, Mr. Tei. I hope you've managed to calm your nerves slightly since earlier this morning.

Tei: Calm my nerves? Calm my nerves?! Are you fucking serious? Where am I?

Kuneyasu: I understand that you're currently rather agitated, but-

Tei: [interrupting] No! I- I'm tired of playing around! I've already talked to like seven doctors and now I'm in here with you and-

Kuneyasu: [overlapping] Mr. Tei.

Tei: How do you expect me to feel?! None of you guys will tell me anything! I-I- You- [sharp inhale] where am I?!

Kuneyasu: Mr. Tei, if you're unable to behave yourself, we'll have to sedate you again.

Tei: ...I- I just want someone to tell me where I am.

Kuneyasu: I'm afraid we can't do that right now.

Tei: ...God... what the hell...

Kuneyasu: I'd like to once again request that you please compose yourself. Could you please state state your full name and occupation for the record, Mr. Tei?

Tei: Why?

Kuneyasu: I'm running out of patience. I'd like to request that you please answer my questions without further complication. What is your name and occupation?

Tei: ...My name is Tei Atsushi, I-... um... right now, I'm working at Hoppeta Pon.

Kuneyasu: That's a cafe, yes?

Tei: Right, um... I-I work there part time.

Kuneyasu: And how's that going?

Tei: ...I'm- I'm probably going to get fired.

Kuneyasu: Are you not good at your job?

Tei: I-I am, I- just... [shaky inhale] God...

Kuneyasu: You seem distressed.

Tei: Please just finish the interview, I- I want to go home.

Kuneyasu: Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions we should know about?

Tei: No, I- None. Nothing.

Kuneyasu: Allergies?

Tei: I don't have any.

Kuneyasu: Phobias?

Tei: I- Um- I don't like thunder. Or lightning. Nothing like that.

Kuneyasu: I see. Luckily, that shouldn't be a problem in here.

Tei: How long am I going to be here?

Kuneyasu: Mr. Tei, why are you so agitated?

Tei: [loudly] Because I don't know where the hell I am! Why would I not be agitated?!

Kuneyasu: Take a deep breath.

Tei: I- I- can't. I- I need to go home.

Kuneyasu: I'm afraid that's not an option right now.

[pause]

...I believe we can end the interview here. Dr. Tatematsu?

[click]

Kuneyasu: Thank you for coming in to speak with us today, Isoda. Is there a title you'd prefer I use with you?

Isoda: Uh, Isoda's fine, I guess.

Kuneyasu: Lovely. Could you please state your full name and occupation for the record?

Isoda: My name is Isoda Mion, I'm an utaite.

Kuneyasu: I understand you're rather popular online.

Isoda: I'm-... y-yeah, I guess so.

Kuneyasu: You're not particularly talkative, Isoda.

Isoda: I'm just... really tired. Plus, I mean... you guys kidnapped me, what do you want me to say? This is kidnapping. I'm kind of freaked out.

Kuneyasu: I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions we should know about?

Isoda: Um... no, I don't think so. Might be something I'm forgetting, but I'm pretty sure it's a no.

Kuneyasu: Any allergies?

Isoda: No.

Kuneyasu: And any phobias?

Isoda: Um... I'm kind of claustrophobic, I guess. Plus ghosts freak me out. Nothing that serious though. Is this a mental hospital?

Kuneyasu: Hm?

Isoda: I mean, the rooms, the gowns, the fact that nobody here will tell us anything and nobody else in the waiting room remembers anything... are we getting institutionalized, or...? What's actually happening here?

Kuneyasu: I'm afraid I can't share any additional information with you at this time.

Isoda: Alright, cool, whatever, super helpful.

Kuneyasu: I've got one question left for you, if that's alright.

Isoda: Yeah, go ahead.

Kuneyasu: What do you think the others have said about you?

Isoda: ...You mean, like, to you?

Kuneyasu: Right.

Isoda: Um... probably nothing, I guess. I didn't really talk to anyone all that much. But I mean, like... if anything, I'd guess they probably said I was short or something? I dunno.

Kuneyasu: I see. Is that all?

Isoda: I guess. It's kind of a weird question.

Kuneyasu: Then we can end our interview here. Thank you for your time, Isoda.

Isoda: Uh, right, yeah. Can I go back to my room now?

Kuneyasu: You can. Dr. Tatematsu will escort you.

[click]

Kuneyasu: Thank you for coming in to speak with us today, Mr. Hirose. I have to say, for an alleged surgeon, you're incredibly young.

Hirose: Get to the point. What do you want to know?

Kuneyasu: No need to rush. We're actually a little bit ahead of schedule, so you can go ahead and take your time.

Hirose: I don't want to take my time, I want to get this over with. Nobody here is telling me anything, so let's just get through this so I can go home.

Kuneyasu: I'm curious- who gave you the impression you'd be going home after this?

Hirose: Can you just tell me what the hell I'm doing here? I'm not finding any of this particularly funny.

Kuneyasu: Right, I can tell. You don't seem very amused.

Hirose: And yet, you seem like you're loving this.

Kuneyasu: I just find it a little entertaining, that's all.

Hirose: [sarcastically] Oh great. I'm happy for you. Ask the questions.

Kuneyasu: Of course. Could I get your name and occupation for the record?

Hirose: My name is Hirose Shingo, I'm a student and a surgeon.

Kuneyasu: A surgeon. At seventeen. That doesn't sound particularly legal, Mr. Hirose.

Hirose: I have every required qualification to be performing surgery.

Kuneyasu: I don't know if I believe you.

Hirose: That's your prerogative. Next question.

Kuneyasu: Very well. Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions we should know about?

Hirose: No.

Kuneyasu: Allergies?

Hirose: None.

Kuneyasu: Phobias?

Hirose: ...N-No.

Kuneyasu: You sound unsure.

Hirose: Well I'm not. Next question.

Kuneyasu: You're really breezing through these. I actually only have one more question to ask you.

Hirose: Then get it over with already.

Kuneyasu: Assuming someone is looking for you right now, who might that someone be?

Hirose: It's completely stupid of you to ask that.

Kuneyasu: What makes you say that?

Hirose: You're trying to get a name out of me so you can track them down and get rid of them.

Kuneyasu: We'd gain nothing from that.

Hirose: I'm not answering that question.

Kuneyasu: [sigh] ...Very well, then I suppose we can end things here. I have to say, your group is notably less cooperative than the last one. It's a bit grating.

Hirose: You're an idiot if you think I'm just going to lie down and dump information on you.

Kuneyasu: Fair, I guess. I'm going to end the recording now. Dr. Tatematsu will escort you back to your room.

Hirose: For how long?

Kuneyasu: Hm?

Hirose: How much longer am I going to be here? What are you going to do with me?

Kuneyasu: I'd recommend passing these questions along to Dr. Tatematsu. I have no answers for you at this time.

Hirose: Well aren't you helpful.

Kuneyasu: Always.

[click]

Kuneyasu: Thank you for coming in to speak with us today, Miss Yokoi. I'd like to request that you cooperate throughout the duration of your interview. The faster you answer my questions, the faster we can get you back to your room. Does that sound fair?

Yokoi: None of this is fair. Why is this part meant to be fair when you just had me locked in a room for hours?

Kuneyasu: We were simply giving you the time you needed to get situated.

Yokoi: Well I did not appreciate it.

Kuneyasu: Noted. Could you please state your name and occupation for the record, Miss Yokoi?

Yokoi: ...My name is Yokoi Ruka. I'm a student.

Kuneyasu: You compete in an activity, yes? Internationally?

Yokoi: I-... yeah, I do spelling bees.

Kuneyasu: You speak English then?

Yokoi: Yeah.

Kuneyasu: Noted. Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions we should know about?

Yokoi: I... kind of have asthma. It's not as bad as when I was a kid, but-... yeah.

Kuneyasu: Any allergies?

Yokoi: I can't have dairy. Um- o-or sesame. That's it.

Kuneyasu: And any phobias?

Yokoi: No.

Kuneyasu: Well in that case, I just have one more question for you, since you don't seem particularly interested in chatting.

Yokoi: Yeah?

Kuneyasu: Who amongst the other students do you see yourself getting along with?

Yokoi: Other students? You mean the people in the waiting room?

Kuneyasu: Right.

Yokoi: Um... I mean... Tsukigata seems nice. Yaitabashi seems pretty nice too- friendly, I-I mean. We were chatting for a little while. Hirose seems pretty smart, I could definitely hold a conversation with him, um... Denden seems pretty sweet. Oh- and Shishikura, he's nice.

Kuneyasu: Anyone else?

Yokoi: Um... Tei, maybe? Or Isoda? They seem pretty grounded. I'll probably talk to them both some more. Will I talk to them more? Am I going back out to the waiting room?

Kuneyasu: We'll be sending you directly back to your own room, actually.

Yokoi: So- W-Wait, will I see them again?

Kuneyasu: Certainly. Just not right now.

Yokoi: Right, um... right.

Kuneyasu: I'm going to end the recording here. Thank you for speaking with me, Miss Yokoi.

Yokoi: Yeah, um... sure. Happy to help.

[click]

Kuneyasu: Thank you for coming in to speak with me today, Mr. Tsukigata. You seem fairly upbeat considering how hectic your day's been.

Tsukigata: Hm? I'm having a nice time!

Kuneyasu: Is that so?

Tsukigata: Is Dr. Hatori coming back?

Kuneyasu: Not for the time being.

Tsukigata: No?

Kuneyasu: He won't be needed for this interview. I'm just going to keep my word choice fairly simple. Hopefully, you won't need his assistance. You seem to be understanding me just fine at the moment regardless.

Tsukigata: Right, I think I'm keeping up.

Kuneyasu: Ah- For the record, could you please explain the issue you were facing earlier this morning?

Tsukigata: Right, ah- I was having some trouble keeping up with what everyone was saying. I was tired.

Kuneyasu: You're not a native Japanese speaker, is that correct?

Tsukigata: Right.

Kuneyasu: What is it that you speak at home?

Tsukigata: Um- French. But Dr. Hatori's been translating for me.

Kuneyasu: Well I'm glad you seem to be in a clearer headspace now. Before we get too deep into our conversation, could you please state your name and occupation for the record?

Tsukigata: Yes! Of course. My name is Tsukigata Hideyuki, and I'm a dressage rider.

Kuneyasu: A dressage rider, could you explain that title a bit?

Tsukigata: It's a type of horse riding. I do it competitively.

Kuneyasu: I see. I take it you're fairly good at it then.

Tsukigata: I'd like to think so, yes!

Kuneyasu: Right. If you don't mind, I'd like to run through a couple more questions with you before we send you back to your room. Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions we should be aware of?

Tsukigata: Medical conditions...? Um, I don't think so, no. Nothing that I know about. I haven't had a check-up in a while though. Aren't you a doctor? Don't you know?

Kuneyasu: I'm not that kind of doctor.

Tsukigata: What kind are you?

Kuneyasu: We don't need to get into that. Do you have any allergies, Mr. Tsukigata?

Tsukigata: Ah- Yes, actually! Peanuts.

Kuneyasu: Noted. Any phobias?

Tsukigata: That's... fears?

Kuneyasu: Right.

Tsukigata: Why do you want to know that?

Kuneyasu: Any information you can share with us will help us cultivate your experience within the facility.

Tsukigata: I-... what?

Kuneyasu: It's important information, Mr. Tsukigata. Any phobias?

Tsukigata: Um... I don't think so, no. Maybe? I don't think so.

Kuneyasu: I see. Alright, with that out of the way, I'd like to ask you a bit more about yourself. You're not natively Japanese, is that correct?

Tsukigata: Right!

Kuneyasu: You're European.

Tsukigata: Yes! From Belgium!

Kuneyasu: Belgium... alright, so what brings you to Japan then?

Tsukigata: Ah- Competition! I'm here to compete!

Kuneyasu: In dressage?

Tsukigata: Yes! And it's my first time competing in Japan! I've never been here before!

Kuneyasu: Is that so? Well, in that case, welcome to Japan.

Tsukigata: Thank you! It's been amazing so far!

Kuneyasu: I take it you've been doing a bit of exploring, then?

Tsukigata: Yes! I've been staying in Kobe- it's incredible there!

Kuneyasu: Definitely a pretty popular tourist area.

Tsukigata: I even got to try authentic Japanese Kobe beef!

Kuneyasu: Do you have any other plans while you're here?

Tsukigata: Oh, definitely, there's so many things I want to try. I still haven't been to an authentic Japanese onsen- oh, or tasted sake!

Kuneyasu: I don't think you're quite old enough for that, but good luck to you. Is there anything else you'd like to share with me before we wrap up the interview?

Tsukigata: You sound very official.

Kuneyasu: Hm-?

Tsukigata: The way you speak! You sound very official. Very easy for me to understand!

Kuneyasu: That's-... good. For you, I mean. Is that all?

Tsukigata: I think so! Did you have any more questions?

Kuneyasu: I didn't, no. I'm surprised that you don't have any more questions.

Tsukigata: What would I have questions about?

Kuneyasu: Where you are? Who I am?

Tsukigata: Hm-? Ah-... those are good questions, actually!

Kuneyasu: Unfortunately, I can't answer them. I'm just curious as to why you didn't ask them.

Tsukigata: I just didn't really think about it!

Kuneyasu: I see. Well, if that's all, Dr. Tatematsu will escort you back to your room.

Tsukigata: Ah- Wonderful! She's very nice!

Kuneyasu: I'm not so sure about that one, but whatever you say.

[click]

Kuneyasu: Thank you for coming in to speak with us today, Miss Denden.

Denden: Of course! Actually, I'm pretty relieved to be talking to you right now.

Kuneyasu: Is that so?

Denden: I-It is, actually!

Kuneyasu: Is there any particular reason for that?

Denden: Well- I'm actually not from around here. I just woke up here a couple hours ago, and um- I'm not quite sure where I am, actually. I was hoping you might be able to help me out.

Kuneyasu: How so?

Denden: If you had a phone I could use, or maybe a-

Kuneyasu: [interrupting] Miss Denden, could you please state your name and occupation for the record?

Denden: Oh! Sure, um- Denden Misao. I'm an ice sculptor.

Kuneyasu: An ice sculptor. I see. Sounds like a pretty expressive craft.

Denden: It is! I um- I really love it, but- sorry, I have to ask, what's your name?

Kuneyasu: That's not particularly important right now.

Denden: Then I'll call you... um... Yamaguchi.

Kuneyasu: Doctor Yamaguchi is preferable.

Denden: Okay, Dr. Yamaguchi then.

Kuneyasu: Thank you. Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions we should be aware of, Miss Denden?

Denden: Pre-existing medical conditions? Like um- diseases? That sort of thing?

Kuneyasu: Diseases, injuries, anything you might require medical care for during your stay in the facilities.

Denden: Facilities? I- Where am I?

Kuneyasu: That'll be explained to you in the near future, but for now, we can brush past it.

[a beat]

Denden: ...Dr. Yamaguchi, I'm starting to think you might not be as helpful for me as I was hoping.

Kuneyasu: I'm afraid not.

Denden: Did you bring me here?

Kuneyasu: Medical conditions, Miss Denden?

Denden: U-Um... n-none.

Kuneyasu: Allergies?

Denden: None.

Kuneyasu: Phobias?

Denden: Well um-... I-I don't really handle spiders very well, but... I still think they're nice. I just don't want to see them or touch them or anything.

Kuneyasu: Noted. I've got one last question for you, if you don't mind.

Denden: Do I get to ask questions after that?

Kuneyasu: I'm afraid not.

Denden: Well- I don't really think that's fair though.

Kuneyasu: No?

Denden: I-I'm really freaking out right now, but... I'm still being polite. I think you should be polite too. If you're going to be asking questions, you should at least let me ask a question back.

Kuneyasu: ...Alright then, I'll give you one question. But you have to finish up your interview first, if that's alright with you.

Denden: Um- Th-That's alright, yeah!

Kuneyasu: Perfect. In that case, here's your last question, Miss Denden, do you think you matter to the world?

Denden: H-Huh? [pause] Um... I... yeah, probably, I think. I mean, I-I don't really add much, but I think that if I disappeared... some people would be sad. And... I don't really want that.

Kuneyasu: I see. Noted. Well, thank you very much for your cooperation today. I believe you had a question for me?

Denden: I did, u-um-... wh-when do I get to go home?

Kuneyasu: I'm afraid I can't share that information with you at this time.

Denden: But-

Kuneyasu: [interrupting] I'll be turning off the recording now, Miss Denden.

Denden: Wait! Dr. Yamaguchi, please, I-