(Malec. Tw: MCD, Heavy Violence, Unhappy Ending) | Read on Ao3.Ā
Magnus and Alec fell in love far too young to really know that what they had was special, until they'd already lost it. Years later, Magnus finds himself raiding a building where his ex-boyfriend just happens to be working security. Not knowing what else to do, Magnus kidnaps him - putting he and Alec both in a very awkward situation.
This work was created for the @malecdiscordserverāsĀ Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2021! This fic was betaed by the wonderful @bamf-alec with the amazing art by @thelightofthebane.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.Ā
Chapter One Preview:Ā
Magnus Bane hadnāt heard the name Alexander Lightwood in years. Truthfully, heād suspected that heād never hear it again, void from his own thoughts, which drifted to Alexander far more often than he would ever dare to admit to anyone aloud.
He and Alec had dated once, when theyād both been far too young to deserve a love as pure as what theyād found. Magnus was not a sappy man but, in the privacy of his own head, he thought Alexander was the person he was supposed to end up with before ā well, before everything in his life went to shit.
He and Alec had fallen in love fast. Theyād spent most of their high school years utterly enthralled with each other. Theyād spent their evenings making out in Alecās room, just to wake up and spend the morning making out in Alecās car before the bell rang and they had to go their separate ways. Magnus had known, even then when no one had believed theyād last, that he was going to spend the rest of his life with Alec. He was supposed to spend the rest of his life with him.
Magnus shifted and sighed, dropping the note from Raphael back onto his desk. Raphael had come to tell him in person, but heād still been out. Perhaps, it had felt too personal to send as a text but too urgent to wait until the next time Raphael and Magnus would be able to see each other again.
Raphael was the only person in Magnusā life that still knew just how deeply and utterly in love Magnus was with Alexander Lightwood. In his line of work, he had to pretend to be uncaring and he did a pretty good job of it. Even with Alec, if anyone ever asked about him, Magnus would pretend not to remember who he was. Alec was something of the past. He was someone Magnus didnāt even recognize anymore.
It was both to protect Magnusā reputation and to protect Alec himself. Alec deserved a normal life, after everything Magnus had put him through. He had decided a long time ago that even if his heart ached every single time he thought of him, heād let Alec go. Heād never talk to him again. Heād keep Alec safe from every danger Magnusā life could bring and Alec would simply be someone he knew once, someone he hardly remembered, someone that meant nothing to him anymore.
Yet, here was this note, threatening all of that with a few simple words. Raphael had written it bluntly and Magnus glanced down to read it over again, as if anything about the contents might have changed since he last looked.
āAlexander works at the shipping company. Guard. I couldnāt get information on his schedule. We can call it off, if you want.ā Then Raphael had signed his name, as if Magnus wouldnāt know whoād written it.
Magnus sighed and tossed his head back. Even the simple way Raphael had written it showed a consideration that he knew Raphael would not afford many others. The thought of Raphael offering to call off a heist theyād been planning for months simply because someone his associate had dated years ago might be there was laughable and yet, Raphael had done just that because he knew what no one else in Magnusā life did. He knew that Magnus had never gotten over Alec and that if he forced Magnus to go through with this when he didnāt want to, it could be more dangerous than if they called it off from the beginning.
He was scared Magnus would do something stupid if Alec was there. Magnus would have loved to say the fear was unfounded, but Alec Lightwood was perhaps the one person in the world that he could still be hurt by. Anyone else, heād conditioned himself to accept that he would lose, even when it came to people like Raphael. What they did was dangerous and he had tried to prepare himself for the day Raphael would end up dead, if it happened before Magnus himself met an untimely demise.
Alexander was different. Magnus had already lost him and yet, he couldnāt bear the thought of living in a world where Alec had been hurt because of him ā hurt any more than he had been already, anyway.
He knew that Alec had become a bodyguard. He kept an eye on him when he could. He had someone inform him if Alec moved, if he got a new job, or if he was in trouble. Magnus had only stepped in once or twice, though Alec didnāt know and hopefully never would. Magnus didnāt think he would accept anything from him, if he outright offered. Instead, Magnus had made sure Alec just happened to get what he needed.
When Alecās parents cut him off, Magnus sent someone to give him money. A ārandomā charitable act of course, one that Alec just happened to be given when he was struggling, one that a ghost like Magnus Bane had nothing to do with.
Alec was doing a lot better now, so Magnus had mostly backed off. He had a solid job. He made a lot of money. He was trained in self defense, if he ever needed to protect himself.
Magnus didnāt imagine Alec would need him anymore, which was why he hadnāt expected to hear about him again, but he supposed fate worked in mysterious ways and, apparently, fate couldnāt leave Magnus the fuck alone.
He would rather know that heād never see Alec again than do this, than suffer wondering if theyād run into each other, wondering if Alec would look just as disgusted with him as he had when theyād last seen each other. That was even before Magnus was wanted for murder. That was even before he had done all heād done after that.
He knew that he couldnāt call it off. It was a simple hit, but a lot of work had gone into figuring out where Camilleās stuff was being held and what exactly they could do to disrupt her operations even more. Magnus couldn't call it off now just because Alec might be there.
He wanted to. He wanted to throw everything aside and call it all off, so he could stay home that night and not have to wonder if heād see the man he loved again, not have to wonder what that would mean for Alec if he did.
Hopefully he wouldnāt be there but, if he was, Magnus knew he couldnāt stop it. Heād done his best to do right by Alec. Heād left him alone and never contacted him again, after everything happened. Heād kept an eye on him, in case he needed help. Heād helped when Alec needed it but, even after all of that, Magnus couldnāt stop this.
Heād done a lot of stupid things for Alec, but Magnus knew that this was crossing a line that he could not cross. He could not call this off for a man he hadnāt seen in years. He couldnāt call it off just because he might be there. He couldnāt protect Alec from this.
If heād known Alec worked there before this, it would have been different, but by now their plan was more or less set in stone. Calling it off wasnāt an option. If Alec died there, it was because the world had wanted it to happen, not Magnus. He had done his best to protect Alec, but this was out of his hands. Besides, what message would it send if anyone found out Magnus had called all of this off the moment Alecās name was dropped? Heād be in danger anyway and that wouldnāt be any better.
Magnus crumpled the note from Raphael and threw it away. He didnāt say anything to him about it, which they both knew that meant that nothing about their plan had changed.
Saturday night came quickly. They approached the shipping company in the dark, silently. They had a small crew with them, the best of the people they knew. The instructions were simple. Get in, take everyone out quietly and efficiently, destroy Camilleās shit, and get out.
Magnus had to stop himself from scanning the cars in the parking lot and wondering if any of them were Alecās. Truthfully, heād had to stop himself from thinking a lot of things about Alec recently. He had to stop himself from wondering what would happen if Alec was here now and did die. He had to stop himself from thinking of Alecās siblings, who he remembered as so much younger than they were now. He had to stop himself from visualizing exactly how heartbroken theyād be if anything happened to their big brother. He had to stop himself from dwelling on it and he had to convince himself that he didnāt care, because he couldnāt.
He had a job to do. It was as simple as that. At the end of the day, Magnus couldnāt put anything else first andā¦ well, it was the end of the day, wasnāt it?
They stood outside, eyeing the big building as Raphael leaned against the hood of his car, lighting a cigarette. Magnus didnāt smoke much anymore, but he reached for the one Raphael had lit anyway, taking it from his hands and raising it to his own lips.
Raphaelās hand froze, now empty. For a moment, it looked as if he was going to argue but, after a second, he simply reached for another one and lit it again. It might have been because of Alec that Raphael let it slide where heād normally protest. Magnus wasnāt sure and didnāt ask.
āYou couldāve called it off,ā Raphael said finally.
Key word: couldāve, past tense. Magnus wanted to snap at him for bringing it up at all. Heād been hoping theyād pointedly avoid the topic for the rest of eternity. āNo, I couldnāt have,ā he said simply, blowing out a puff of gray smoke as he did.
Raphael shrugged. āMaybe not,ā he admitted. He lowered the cigarette from his lips, flicking the ash to the ground. āWhat if heās in there?ā he asked.
āWhat if?ā Magnus posed in return. He knew what Raphael was asking, but pretended that he didnāt. He wasnāt sure what answer Raphael wanted him to give. He wasnāt sure he wanted to say the answer out loud.
Before Raphael could say anything else, Lily appeared in the doorway sheād disappeared through nearly three minutes before. She wore a tight black dress with heels and a pistol strapped to her thigh. For anyone else it would have been an issue but, with Lily, Raphael and Magnus both knew that she was just as capable no matter what shoes she was wearing. Lily raised her hand towards them.
Magnus dropped his cigarette to the ground. Raphael nodded towards her, took a long drag of his cigarette, and then did the same. No words needed to be exchanged for them to all understand what was going on. In the simple motion, Lily had told them that the cameras inside were off and that, just as planned, no one had seen her.
Magnus crushed the cigarette under the heel of his boot before he started to make his way towards the rest of their crew, about five men that he knew each by name. Some of them, heād trained himself. Some of them had come already trained and eager to make some money doing something distasteful. All of them were trustworthy.
āYou know the plan,ā Raphael said as they reached them.
There were a couple of nods and a few grunts of approval before they all turned and started heading towards the door that Lily was still holding open with her stiletto. Normally, theyād all have continued walking inside without another word. There was nothing else to say but, as they reached the door and Magnus moved to dart after Lily, whoād ducked inside again, Magnus froze.
His hand clenched on the door, holding it half open, letting no one move past him. Magnus took a slow deep breath before he turned to eye all of their men, his gaze suddenly hard. āThereās a man named Alexander that might be inside,ā Magnus snapped. āHe has dark hair, tall, a scar across his left eyebrow. If heās here, you donāt shoot him. You save him for me.ā
Magnusā tone left no room for questions, so no one dared to open their mouth and ask one. He turned to continue inside again, meeting Raphaelās eyes for just a second. Even Raphael said nothing, but his expression said enough.
Magnus looked away and when he finally walked inside, he didnāt look back.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
strong tw for sh below the cut but iām drunk and just want to write this somewhere (and i type much faster than i can handwrite on a journal lmfao) (no pictures)
i cut my upper left thigh pretty badly the last time i got drunk. luckily, i had some foresight and had bought some medical adhesive tapes that function as stitches and they worked even better than i could imagine. these should have been the worst scars i have ever inflicted on my body but now it seems like they will heal fine. iām really thankful because i know that otherwise the scars would not only be ugly but also take a long time to heal, but at the same time the scars are in themselves a huge reason for why i do this in the first place. i kind of wish they were ugly. i kind of wish they were awful and i had to look at them everyday.
i have three cigarette burns just above my right knee. the first one - done just about a week before the others - is more serious. thereās a big crust there. today, when getting dressed, i picked out a dress thinking of how i shouldnāt pressure my thigh wounds only to realise how outlandish my cigarette burns look. thereās three of them, all lined up around the circle of my knee, one, two, three. they could be tattoos. i realise iām now severely limited in my clothing choices. iāll do laundry this weekend and hopefully by monday jeans wonāt be too much attrition.
i have lines just under my collarbones that are healing well. they shouldnāt be visible in a few more days. but i still have to be mindful to cover them whenever i facetime my parents.
the worst gash on my upper right forearm was done in december, i think. maybe november. it still looks bad - i know a keloid when i see one. itās mostly because of this one that i still donāt wear short sleeves. everything else can be more easy hidden or at least discreetly disguised by movement, but this one is an offensive shade dark pink and there is no mistaking it. it was a mistake. most of my scars are on my left arm, so the ones on the right arm stand out. there were exactly fifteen before this - i cannot count the hundreds in my left arm, so it would have been better camouflaged. instead itās just there, in an empty patch of skin, sticking out stubbornly.
and yet tonight i want to do it again. i want to see blood. itās funny because i actually have a phobia of blood, so everything gets really intense. sometimes i want to cut up my face. i want to scream. i want to stab my neck and then patch it up later as if nothing happened.
