#striunion

discussing the killer final boss

...does dirk even know theyre working with a troll

DIRK: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way. DAVE: i bet DIRK: Bear in mind... I haven't actually SOLVED many problems over the course of my life? DIRK: But the ones I have, man. DIRK: Swords proved hells of instrumental. DAVE: what do you mean you didnt solve many problems DAVE: didnt you like DAVE: program robots and stuff DIRK: I guess I meant real problems. DIRK: Involving... DIRK: People. DAVE: oh DAVE: those

dont use swords to solve your people problems, kids. we all saw how THAT turned out - at least 2 close friends get stabbed with ur own sword, sometimes more.

also dirk is right hes never solved many ppl problems yet dave barely has either

DIRK: So Jack has... Lord English powers? DAVE: yup DIRK: Does that have anything to do with Jake? DAVE: not according to my current understanding of a mostly nonsensical body of information

nO SHHHH SHHHHHHHH BKEW IS GONNA DO THE THING WE’LL BE TALKING ABOUT DECAPITATED PUPPETEERED JAKE FOR WEEKS

DAVE: he MIGHT be vulnerable to welsh things too DAVE: dont quote me on that DAVE: because DAVE: it will make me sound like an idiot

...brb gonna kill lord english

with amazing welsh words such as “cwningan”

DIRK: Guestimate? DAVE: um DAVE: not soon enough is my best guess DAVE: and i guess DAVE: also my opinion? DIRK: Oh.

for fuck sake

dave is being so cold here that he makes rose’s attitude to jasprosesprite^2, and terezi’s attitude to ‘lame weenies’, look warm and friendly

DIRK: Is... DIRK: Everything alright?

drk is not a fuckign idiot

oh man... dirk was looking forward to this meeting much more than dave was... as i predicted way back lol

DAVE: what is it about me thats important then DIRK: I'm... DIRK: Not sure how to answer. DAVE: why DIRK: Because I'm getting the sense that you might disapprove of whatever I might say. DIRK: Maybe you'll think it's weird that I idolized some version of you that I never knew. DAVE: idolized?? DIRK: See. DIRK: It seems like you think it's weird. DAVE: ......... DIRK: Uh. Yeah. DIRK: I shouldn't have said anything.

poor dirk... if i was in his situation, i’d have died of shame or something and just gotten out a computer and done whatever the hell dave did 

or maybe we wouldnt have ran off away from our close friends?

oh it turns out dave doesnt think dirk is very different

DAVE: well DAVE: heres well i guess DAVE: i didnt fuckin like you that much ok? DIRK: Oh. DIRK: DIRK: Why not? DAVE: honestly i dont know if i want to get into it DIRK: Ok.

:(

well at least some of the truth is out there

poor dirk...

poor dave too

clouds? oh man thats quite a storm going on

DAVE: ok actually maybe i will get into it

good

if you left on THAT note you’d have all fucking died

he’s MAD

DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them

DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me

DAVE: but thats not how it was

DAVE: their complaints were trumped up nonsense and i bought it cause... i dunno

DAVE: i didnt have any frame of reference  DAVE: but his dad and her mom no matter what they said it was so obvious they cared about them deeply  DAVE: even jades weird fuckin grandpa who died when she was young obviously would have done anything for her  DAVE: why did i get such a raw cut of the asshole deck  DAVE: and why did it take me so long to figure that out  DAVE: and like hes dead now so thats that  DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years  DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?! 

oh my gosh

he is furious that his guardian was such a cunt...

and he cant get any closure until now and its a weird kind o closure

DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me DAVE: and the whole act of even "raising a child" was some totally fucked up game to him DAVE: like parenthood was one of the highest tiers of irony in his solemn bullshit bro-ninja code DAVE: so he went through those motions and did whatever he thought was "funny" or "badass" DAVE: but under that weird stylistic and totally sociopathic approach to parenting i cant even IMAGINE there was any emotion toward me other than some sort of loathing

i think... i think he was proud of you, Dave

but i’m not at all surprised by this interpretation

also the next part:

DAVE: i dont want to get out the laundry list DAVE: but for reference laundry wasnt one of those things DAVE: that was just one of the many little domestic things i just had to sort of FIGURE OUT DAVE: sorta like i eventually had to learn what the REAL purpose of a refridgerator was from movies

oh holy fuck!!! he was severely neglected as a kid!! he wasnt taught how to raise himself properly...

i can sort of relate to that and i am angry about my experience with it and i am even angrier about dave’s

tz’s right, the deceased mapelhoof was his real lusus

DAVE: it didnt make me stronger DAVE: it did the opposite DAVE: it made me never want to fight DAVE: it made me never want to see blood or be near danger or hear metal sounds DAVE: it made me hate the idea of being a hero cause he was a hero and he ruined the idea of heroism DAVE: i dont even want to be fighting this shitty version of jack but hey nobody else has secret welsh powers so i guess i have to DIRK: ...

:(

DAVE: i only started getting it after spending a lot of time in person with a bunch of people who actually did care about me DAVE: and i could start feeling like DAVE: actually somewhat human for the first time DAVE: instead of... DAVE: some sort of runty afterthought to a household cabal of smutty puppets DIRK: ... Puppets? DAVE: the fuckin puppets!!! DAVE: i know how it sounds but i am NOT joking and there is NO shred of doubt in my mind that he loved all those puppets more than me

i wonder how long it took him to get over the sound of metal while on that meteor

i’d say, at least a year, and he still jumps sometimes when people move too fast

and like me he probably is very greedy now. thats what happens when you compete for food but then have a good supply.

but he had... good friends...

DAVE: i guess it didnt help either that we lived with what we have come to understand may theoretically be the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever DAVE: in fact its my tenuous understanding that he came down to earth with that thing and like actually grew up with it DAVE: maybe... DAVE: maybe spending 30 some years being unseparable from that hell puppet had some effect on him?? DAVE: maybe if it hadnt been casting a pall over our apartment 24/7 since he took me in... DAVE: grinning... DAVE: glaring... DAVE: laughing in my sleep... DAVE: maybe our lives wouldnt have been quite so... DAVE: maybe we would have... DAVE: ugh DIRK: What?

youre right there is a slight chance the presence of lil cal completely warped his mind and dirk got out early because he was only aroud cal for 16 years not 30

DIRK: That was Cal, right? DAVE: yeah DIRK: Right. DIRK: My version is "empty", apparently. DIRK: Whatever that means. DAVE: huh DAVE: how do you know that DIRK: A source. DIRK: One supposedly knowledgeable in jujus. DIRK: I never quite knew what that meant, though. DAVE: well DAVE: whatever his was DAVE: "empty" is never how i would have described it DIRK: Hmm.

hes not gonna be empty for long

it seems theyre figuring out the mystery of lord english

DAVE: he was still pretty much awful no matter what the reason DAVE: and im sure thats the only feeling ill ever have about him DAVE: so who cares why it was like that DIRK: Yeah...

:((( oh boy dirk say something

dont worry about how weird itll be - he needs a good sign

wow this is a very long update

so dirk is apologizing but dave says no its not you but dirk says “yes it is, its the splinters. IM ACCEPTING THEM.” which is good

im not pasting because im reading too fast i am interested now

DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities. DIRK: So, when I hear about stuff I did in another reality, DIRK: I'm not sure what my adult self might have ever tried to do to atone for that stuff, if anything... DAVE: pretty much dick squat DIRK: Yeah. But in any case, DIRK: I'm sure I was completely in the wrong, and I'm sorry I messed up your life. DAVE: ... 

see, one of dirk’s best traits is also one of his worst traits. he is logical. he acts on thought, not feeling. he does this better than the knights and seers, 

which is why dirk was a large part of the inversion theory... he acts like a more rational and sociopathic mind player would act. kind of like a sylph actually, like aranea and kanaya.

(but i was told inversion theory is wrong so...)

what im saying is dirk is boring and cold but he is very smart and self-critical. he will try to change his behaviour if he can be convinced it’s the right thing to do.

haha i love this panel

DAVE: it still feels a little odd accepting an apology from somebody who i just met and technically had nothing to do with my life DAVE: even if you do feel guilty splinterways or whatever DAVE: it is just a messed up situation DAVE: and i guess i had to vent DAVE: and there was never anyone i wanted to say all that to DAVE: and the only thing that was gonna drag it out of me i guess was like a teen stand-in phantom of my dead bro DAVE: just some perfectly innocent dude havin to take the brunt of this shit

you never talked to karkat, or rose, or terezi about this? 

or, err... vriska? who “understands” a little bit. but thinks youre being pathetic... yeah i wouldnt talk to her either.

DIRK: I've messed a lot of things up. DIRK: With my friends. DIRK: Honestly, that's why I wasn't that bent on sticking around, when I showed up. DIRK: And pretty much jumped at the offer of flying here to get ready for some yet to be explained battle.

ahh so dave offered and dirk was like YES LETS GO RIGHT NOW

dirk is comparing dave’s relationship with bro to his own relationship with jake...

DIRK: The sad thing is, DIRK: I can really see it. DIRK: How someone like me can go unchecked in life, and turn out to become a much worse person than I already am. DIRK: I guess I'm just relieved I still have some time to make sure that doesn't happen.

you go dirk

DAVE: i mean personally DAVE: i think about it all the time now DAVE: what it actually means to be good or bad DAVE: or if not something that starkly moral DAVE: at least just trying to examine the difference between being decent and being a douche DAVE: maybe its because of him i worry about that now DAVE: but for me i think that internal struggle is kind of mild DAVE: for him... DAVE: or you i mean DAVE: it sounds like some pretty dark shit DAVE: like grappling with... DAVE: becoming evil vs simply trying not to DIRK: Yeah. DIRK: That's not too far off.

oh boy

but at least dave is considering morality now - his pre-cascade and pre-retcon self couldnt care much

and dirk... dirk has the potential to become evil... his spriteself has already achieved that...

DAVE: but the point is DAVE: even just talkin to you a little bit DAVE: its obvious youve been fighting with that DAVE: which means that you care enough to put in some effort DAVE: i think that counts for something

yes! dirk has been trying to be good...

dirk talks about his self loathing - this conversation is good for him because it’s the Truth rather than something that is ambiguously trolling

DIRK: My friends always seemed to cut me so much slack, or were just never aware of the kind of person I really was. DIRK: Well, Jake probably is, by now at least. DIRK: But he's also the sort of guy who's just as likely to blame himself for stuff I did, as he is to blame me. DIRK: Jane and Roxy, though. DIRK: Never seemed to see anything wrong with me. DIRK: If anything, just the contrary. DIRK: Roxy in particular had a certain... fixation. DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did. DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.

oh boy... yeah dirk blames himself largely

jane and roxy do think youre awesome

and roxy wasnt exactly the best pal in the world to dirk which is a flaw on her otherwise clean and fluffy pink friendship record, though she tried to make up for it after sobering up

DAVE: so DAVE: was that stuff true DAVE: when you said you idolized the other version of me DIRK: Yeah. DAVE: and not just some bullshit like how i used to say the same thing about my bro when i didnt know any better DIRK: It's definitely not like that. DIRK: I never lived with him, or met him, so couldn't have anything like the contentious relationship you had with my older self. DIRK: He was a historical figure from centuries ago. DIRK: There was a lot to admire, and think about fondly. DIRK: Especially since I was alone, and never had any direct contact with another person, or any concept of civilization. DIRK: So even though I'm sure I romanticized what his life was like, and the early 21st century in general, DIRK: It was nice to think about you. DIRK: I passed a lot of time that way.

yeah see dirk REALLY admires his bro and is horrified he was such a dick to him

this conversation is good

very long, very good. i hope the strider fans are happy. 

i will see some dave hate but not a lot because dave is popular and sort of highly justified in his anger

DIRK: He made like a million bullshit Statues of Liberty, scummed them up with jpeg artifacts, and littered them all over the planet. DAVE: holy shit

:DDD that’s one for the diary

DIRK: Really, I modeled everything about myself after you. Or at least everything good that I was trying to become. DIRK: And I probably spent an embarrassing amount of time imagining what it would be like to live during his time, and to be able to have something resembling a sibling relationship, or be in some sort of master-apprentice situation. DIRK: When I finally learned you existed, and started to understand who he really was in relation to me, that put a lot into context. DIRK: I realized he was a version of you who got a chance to live up to his full potential. DIRK: And when I understood there was a young version of you, in a situation sorta like mine, whose time on Earth got cut short when you were thrown into all this, DIRK: I was at least happy to think there was some reality where you got the chance to do everything you wanted to do, be successful, and fight for all the right things. DIRK: Even if ultimately it didn't lead to a great outcome for humanity, you had an opportunity to live a full life and show what you were made of. DIRK: While I guess I had... the same opportunity on your world, somewhat less fortunately.

dave strider’s full potential is something to behold

maybe he should live up to it again

including the ninja rapoffs yes please

DAVE: but then for all my bitching i guess i still never grasped your full reality DAVE: just like you probably didnt grasp mine, but just reading into the mindset of a historical figure as best you could DAVE: what if i wasnt as heroic as it seemed? DAVE: what if adult me was kinda douchey too in a way you couldnt observe DIRK: Perhaps. DIRK: But beyond a certain point, I think accomplishments speak for themselves. DIRK: I dunno if you can just completely shred every person who ever did great things because they had some flaws. DIRK: All I can say is, it was important to me to see him the way I did. DIRK: As a good person who inspired me, and set the standard for what I wanted to be. DIRK: It kept me going.

ancestors, man.

heck for all they know dave could have been just like mindfang, a crazy sociopath badass pirate queen who performed atrocities

but he was probably more like revolutionary girl latula the neophyte idealist knight who fought for justice, drawing something resembling good from a bad template

with less swing ropes in the vicinity

and as a result dirk became a good person, he had a good role model

DIRK: I bet you've become stronger than you realize, not because of anything he did, but because of what you've done, and the ways you've changed yourself through your own effort. DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude. DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized. DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are. DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.

dave is a survivor. 

he has gone through so much crap and is stronger for it. and... a better person. he’s found a foundation for his morals of which we only got a glimpse of before. the retcons have been very good for dave... maybe this difference was planned from the start.

DAVE: ... DAVE: you dont think im cool? DIRK: Nah. DIRK: I mean, in the right way, yes. I think you are. DIRK: But, in the way that doesn't mean anything and doesn't matter, DIRK: Not particularly. DAVE: ...

hahahah! so much for coolkid facade.

holy FUCK is this a long upd8, 25 pages and mostly text, still going?

i like this planet there’s shit going on

what the fuck, is this a parallel to his past

:OOOOOOO

awww

wow i bet people are glad we waited a month for this

DAVE: its really fucked up of me DAVE: what im presently doing DAVE: so DAVE: sorry about that DIRK: Oh, y- DIRK: Yeah. DIRK: Man. DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright. DAVE: i know

so fucked up

there we go!

that was... that was incredible.

i couldnt have imagined a striunion that poignant.

and now they dont have to be awkward in battle. talking of which it seems nobody knows whats going on?