#strings;

It was a quiet evening, the breeze cool as it cut through heavy air, thick with a blanket of humidity that left Jongin feeling sticky and uncomfortable. It was better, he supposed, than the frigid fingers of fall that snuck beneath threadbare clothes to coat him in ice. He would take the lesser of two evils on that count, frankly. Besides, he liked nights like this, his bag slung over his shoulders and his feet dragging along the streets, clumps of people dotting storefronts and stalls and the sidewalk to chat.

He glanced somewhat wistfully at those people when he passed, gaze lingering quietly over smiling faces. Jongin was fundamentally lonely these days, ghosting along the streets unseen, unbothered, unwanted. It was not a new face to his life honestly, and it didn’t drag him into fits of existential angst. Some people just had shittier lots in life, and his had not been so great so far. But he ate mostly regularly and there were ahjumma that offered him small kindnesses, a couple extra hours in a shop during a storm, a discount here and there. Really it could all be a lot worse. Some days, he wouldn’t lie, he was prone to moping and grumbling and the sort of angst that surrounded all just-past-teenaged boys but no one was immune to a good sulk every now and then. He was practically rolling in cash tonight, however, had made enough dancing that day to facilitate a trip to a restaurant and maybe a few hours of a nap in a DVD bang.

But his journey two blocks over was interrupted by the figure of a boy ahead of him- small and pale and collapsing to the ground quite suddenly, mid step. It caught him off guard, and before he could process the occurrence his feet were in motion, bringing him kneeling at the other’s side as the stranger seized against the ground. He had next to no idea what to do when someone had a seizure, and instead bit at the side of his lip, nervously patting at the other’s head, gentle movements as he cleaned the edge of the boy’s lips with the hem of his shirt, blanching in panic as the other slowly came to a halt.

Sometimes Jongin resorted to less than moral tactics in his search to survive storms, cold weather. It was hard, living on the street. It was hard having nowhere to go when the wind cut through threadbare clothes, when a sudden rainstorm kicked up and drenched him, left him frigid. It wasn’t like he had a shower or a clothes-dryer or even a change of clothing, for that matter. Sometimes he made enough to get a pack of kimbap from the corner store and sleep in a PC bang, but when he came up a little short he resorted to the clubs.

  There were a lot of them in Hongdae, all over the place. And they were full of people interested in a one night stand- especially with an exotically handsome half-foreign looking kid. It helped that he stayed sort of rugged, sort of constantly tanned and weathered from the elements.  So he played it up, spun his way through smoky rooms until he landed on someone liable to take him home for the night, always claiming he was a tourist or that his apartment was ages away or that his roommate was a weirdo. It wasn’t moral and it wasn’t dignified but Jongin had stopped caring much about that sort of thing a long time ago.

  It was hit or miss though. Sometimes people ended up way, way weirder than they looked. Taemin had been one of those- but in a surprising way. He’d let him stay through the next day when a monsoon blew through, let him look at his paintings and take a shower. They’d made fried rice and dumplings and watched every Fast and Furious movie and, a few days later, they’d repeated the experience. And then again. And then again. It had turned into a sort of routine by now, to the point that Jongin was secretly-sort-of-banking on one night of comfortable sleep a week, and it had really picked his mood up a lot.

It was probably weird for him to know her name, but he told himself it wasn’t. She wore a nametag, sometimes. Other patrons – regulars- called her by name. Jongin wasn’t a regular- he was a weirdo. He didn’t have the disposable income to be a regular, honestly, but he’d come in once when it had been storming, tucked himself in the corner and ordered the hottest of all hot teas. He’d nursed that tiny drink for a good four and a half hours before he dozed off, and she’d only shaken him gently awake when it was time to close. A lot of shop owners would have been decidedly less kind to a scruffy, obviously dirt poor scrap of a kid, but she had let him stay and that meant something.

He’d stopped by once or twice after that to actually order something, out of some odd desire to repay her. But it had been immediately clear that Gayoon needed something else- needed a pick me up. And maybe Jongin needed to feel like he could help someone, wanted to feel like he could make a difference, or a connection, however small. That was when he’d started leaving post-it notes. He didn’t bother buying drinks he couldn’t afford or lurking around the establishment, just popped in to stick a few reassuring notes and carefully scribbled drawings onto the brightly colored paper, leaving them stuck to the message board before he ghosted away, back onto the streets.  That was what he was doing presently, a scrap of bright blue clutched in his left fist, his cheeks wind-burned and red and his hair a tousled mess from the wind as he shuffled to the little message board, glancing around quick before he smoothed it into place.

JOURNAL HEY HELLO LONG TIME NO SEE. This is Yoona writing again, kekeke.

Oh my God I have been blessed with the best weekend ever.

Shanghai was so much fun. I can’t still move on. It feels like my heart is still there.  I still can’t believe that I just spent three days in Shanghai with him, considering our schedules was always get in our ways everytime we had plans. So last weekend was just too precious.

We started the trip by Byung (rudely) hurried me to the airport, saying that he needed to go somewhere and he had to see me before he took off. IT WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE OUR ANNIVERSARY I ALMOST BROKE DOWN CRYING—I mean, I had loads of negative thoughts in my head that moment I couldn’t even control my anger. Buuuuuuuuuut, it turned out to be a surprise he made for the anniversary [[lol dumb typist was fooled too tbh]]. I’m starting to think that this is his thing, you know, getting me angry and then being a sweet egghead in the next minute. I’m not complaining though. Hell-- I am so happy.

We visited Nanjing Road, bought some clothes for me because I didn’t bring anything but my phone—not even my purse— and we ate the best seafoods there. The menu board was in Chinese and Byung cutely asked me if he could eat meat there. I tried not to laugh so hard but I did. We ate deliciously we forgot to take pictures. I guess we were too busy eating.

We also visited Central Perk in Shanghai and OH MY GOD I SPAZZED FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES BEFORE I COULD ACT NORMALLY AGAIN. I couldn’t stop myself from bouncing and giggling and screeching like a kid. I love F.R.I.E.N.D.S so much and Byung knows that. He knows me too well. The café looks exactly like Central Perk. The menu boards, the orange sofa with two small sofa and wooden coffee table in front of them, everything! In my head I couldn’t stop daydreaming about being Rachel Green. Ugh. Here, we took a picture there..

-sticks a picture of her and Byunghee; her cheeks puffed and her lips curled cutely, leaning her body against his boyfriend’s while he happily shows the camera a peace sign, curving the corners of his lips into a smile-

I am so so so so so happy I couldn’t put it into words. We couldn’t stop holding each other’s hands (because it was cold there but also because all I wanted to do was being close to him hehehe), we couldn’t stop smiling, laughing, embracing each other, and oh the little kiss in the taxi was adorable kekeke. We had an actual quality time. And I can’t thank him enough for being such a thoughtful and understanding boyfriend. I love him.

Journal, that is all. I will update you later.

I hope the next time I write here, will still be a good news.

Annyeong~

  Love,