#strigoi!ivan

Dear Creature,

I know it is impossible for me to write this, maybe it is just some fucked up way for me to talk myself. But I hate you, I hate you with a passion that only grows by the day. I watch you rip and tear at people and I know that I can do nothing to stop it - what makes it worse? Is that I can feel the rush the goes through you as you feed and I almost enjoy it.

WHAT HAVE YOU TURNED ME INTO?!

There are times I almost feel like I am breaking through, like I can take my life back - like whenever you look at my locket, I can almost take it all back but then you freak out and you end up going on a killing spree.

Everytime you kill someone I feel a little piece of me slipping away.

But then with Anya, I know I feel stronger and that is one of the reasons you want her as far away as possible - because she lets me feel human. Then again I was never human to begin with but you get the point.

Just with humanity comes the pain that I have to endure everyday, the guilt of your kills, of the pain you caused the people I love and I did nothing to stop it. Part of me wants to yell at Anya to stake me, to put me out of the misery you cause. Just I also know she never will - like I would never be able to do it to her....

So I am doomed to live bathed in the blood of your victims.

Ivan Belikov - I hate you with everything I have

Sincerely,

He had been gone almost two months and he had lost count of how many people he had killed around 800 – and that was a month ago. Some had been for food but some had been just for fun, for the chance to watch them squirm and beg for their lives. Not to mention there had even been a few Strigoi that he had gladly used his lighter to set ablaze to watch them burn. That had been become almost like a calling card for him, to set his victim on fire once he was done with them. He loved to just sit back and watch as the flames burned their skin from their bodies, every time he burned a corpse he felt like he was burning away a little bit of his past.

One thing he was proud of was the fact that he hadn’t had a moment of weakness since that incident in the church and even that had ended in him slaughtering the entire building. Just it had still been a moment of pathetic nature that he had sworn after that he would never go through again – he wasn’t like that any longer. He was a killer, a blood thirsty predator and he wasn’t about to let his past keep that from him.

Just tonight was another night, another night he was hungry and looking for his next meal. He had made his way all the way to California and he had stumbled upon a rather large club that no one would really notice if anyone went missing from. It didn’t take him long to find a nice drunk girl that found him charming and handsome, his frightening features hidden in the dark atmosphere of the club. He lead the girl out to the back ally and pressed her up against the brick wall, his hand running up her leg.” Mmm you smell delicious my dear.” He whispered to her as she looked up at him with wide, dilated eyes.” And you’re hot!” She said as she pulled him down into a heated kiss and began rocking her hips against his suggestively.

Ivan let out a small moan against her lips as he pressed her harder against the brick wall and if he hadn’t been so hungry he probably would of found some place more comfortable for him and his friend. Just he was hungry, no he was starving. So he pulled his lips from hers – kissing down her jaw line which made her giggle but then he bit down on her neck and the unsuspecting woman drifted into peaceful oblivion. When he felt that her life had been completely drained away he let her body drop to the ground, licking the sweet nectar of her blood from his lips. Then without further hesitation he used his lighter to spark a flame on her dress – it was only seconds before the whole body was ablaze.

When the body was nothing more than a charred mess he headed back into the club but stopped dead in his tracks at the door. He smelt Dhampir, but not just any Dhampir – he couldn’t believe she had tracked him here because there was no way this was a mere coincidence. No she had tracked him here and planned on dealing with him. Why couldn’t she just leave him be?! He continued his way into the club, following her scent until she saw him by the bar. Truth was she looked like hell as she scanned the crowed, obviously looking for him. She seemed pale and she was defiantly skinnier then he remembered. It was then he locked eyes with her for a moment and it seemed like everything else in the club fell away – until someone passed between them and he used his super speed to get out of there.

Yesterday I died

Tomorrows bleeding

Ivan was bored out of his mind, he had all this power and nothing to do with it - so he told Kryrian he was going out for a bite and would be back before they moved on. Though part of him wondered sometimes if it mattered to him if he hung around or not - but he also knew that he had to watch his step. No matter how much he wanted to rip Kyrian apart at times he did owe him for awakening him and he was significantly older then him.

So he would fall in line for now until he found the prompt time to strike. He had eternity now didnt he? He could wait - or at least that is what he told himself. It wasn't that long before he stumbled on a night club and smirked, prime hunting grounds.

He moved through the mass of gyrating bodies as they danced to the pulsing music, the sound of their heart beats made his mouth water - but he thought maybe he should try Kyrians method.

Playing with his food.

He went over to the bar and ordered a roman coke as his red eyes scanned the dark dance floor for someone who looked good enough to eat.