BOYS DONâT CRY // BILLY HARGROVE
-> pairing; Billy Hargrove + Fem!reader
-> warnings; mentions of abuse
-> summary; when Billy came home, you knew something was wrong; but trying to get him to open up was going to be a challenge.
a/n; requests are welcome!
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13 years ago
Billy is 6
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Billy looked up at his father, tears rushing down his face. His mother laid dead on the hospital bed.
His bottom lip trembled as he took in the reality of his mother being gone, forever. "daddy..." he cried, pulling on his fathers shirt; begging for a warm embrace, only to be giving a cold stare.
His father scoffed and pushed him off of him, "what are you? A girl? Boys don't cry!" He yelled.
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13 years later
Billy is 19
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He showed very little emotion, when he did, it was a constant battle with trying to calm him down. He held so much in, his father injecting him with words and threats growing up, telling him a real man didn't cry.
Your relationship was rocky and rough, but what relationship wasn't like that? You both had your ups and downs, you wanted him to express his feelings more, and he wanted you to leave it alone.
Causing you both to fight often, his words burned through your skin like acid. He didn't mean any of it though, it was his way of defending himself, putting his walls up and shutting down.
Billy shut the door, you could tell something was wrong by the way he threw his keys down on the counter.
You looked up at him from the couch, you paused your show and stood up; walking to him.
"Hey, how was work?" You asked, grabbing a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator and taking a sip. You could see his eyes fill with tears, he took a deep breath and shook his head. "It was fine.." he mumbled.
"You sure?" You asked, trying not to pry.
"Yes, Y/N. I'm fine.." he said, kissing your forehead before climbing the stairs; taking two at a time.
You furrowed your eyebrows and walked back into the living room, continuing your movie as you heard the shower start.
â˘
"He's gone?" You asked, eyes wide as you watched his face contort into sadness.
"Yeah..." Billy said, his knee began to bounce as he chewed at his finger nails. âHe took everything, Max, SusanâŚ.He left me.â His bottom lip trembled as he spoke.
You frowned, watching as tears flowers down his cheeks, a rare sight that pained you.
"Billy..don't hold it in..just let it out. it's okay to cry." You said, putting your hand out to pat his back.
He pulled away and stood up, "real men don't cry..he made sure of that." He said, wiping away his tears.
"And his life is going so good, isnât it?" You shouted, standing up. You were tired of the constant effect his father had on him.
He was never there to begin with, sure he was there physically, but not in the way Billy needed him to be.
"Don't!" Billy yelled, turning back to look at you, pointing at you.
"No! Don't try to push me away when I'm trying to hel-"
"Help me? You're doing such a great job at that, Y/N! Just leave me alone." Billy said, taking a deep breath.
You huffed, "please just, talk to me. I wanna know how youâre feeling." You said, taking a step towards him.
He groaned, pinning you to the wall "I don't want to talk to you! I just want to be alone right now! Is that to hard to ask?" He said, slamming his hands against the wall causing you to jump.
He stormed up the stairs, your bedroom door slammed moments later.
Your bottom lip trembled, tears streamed down your face as you slid down the wall.
â˘
The next day, you poured your self a cup of coffee taking a quick sip as you watch Billy walk down the stairs.
His hair dripping with water as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "Morning.." he mumbled, "morning." You sighed, tracing the rim of your cup with your index finger.
"How are you?" You asked, your heart beating out of your chest as you waited for his response.
"Better..I'm sorry about last night.." he said, never looking you in the eyes. "Yeah..thank you." You said, he looked up at you and frowned.
He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak, "any time I ever cried or whined..he'd threaten me, say he'd beat my ass if I ever did it again. Though he would regardless...then heâd push me away, leave for a few days, just to repeat the process when he got back." Billy said, staring down at the counter as you listened.
"..I push you away when you're just trying to help. I guess that just one of the things I picked up from him..â he said.
You shook your head and walked to him, wrapping your arms around him.
âYouâre nothing like him, Billy.â You said, looking up at him. "I understand...and I won't pry you to tell me your feelings.." you said, giving him a quick peak on the cheek.
He nodded and sent you a small, loving smile.
A sight you could never hate.
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