#strangerscollection

Almost no one was from Seattle when I first arrived in this city. But it seemed like everyone had a scar deep inside when they were coming to Seattle. It could be their job, family, people, weather or anything. People warned me about the ‘Seattle freeze’ earlier but it was later when the word stricken me. After spending about 5months for my graduate study, I finally started to feel the isolation from the community, lack of diversity and the warmth among people. I was lost in color and the city suddenly seemed cold and blue in the rain.

I am a Korean girl from Korea. My first experience with US was when I did my exchange student program in a small town called, Seymour in Indiana. So you can imagine how different I could feel in one of the most white towns in US. But I never had the identity crisis back then. They all wanted to be friends with me and I wanted to be like them. I admired my people in town and they respected me. It was such a warm town that I have never felt homesick during my stay. I still think of Seymour as my second hometown. My American experience went on as I was working in other countries in Asia and Europe. And ever since I left Seymour, I have been always wanting to go back to US. Now, here I was after 15 years in Seattle, Washington. 

I came especially to Seattle because of my graduate school program studying Arts Leadership. I was told that Seattle was the third artistic city after New York and Chicago. I wanted to experience an artistic and young city where I could actually take part in. I loved Seattle first of all. But slowly, I started to see the real face of it.

My school program was designed to grow arts leaders in the community. So, we had a lot of Arts leaders as panels. My cohorts were all very competent people as I was watching a tv show ‘Apprentice’. All our professors are working professionals in town. I had a lot to learn from them even though the lecture was limited only into ‘Seattle’ area. At first, I did not like the idea of learning cases only in Washington area but later I started to feel Seattle as it was my own hometown. And this was a big problem.

Now that I took Seattle as ‘my space’ and took myself as a community member, I started to care about the issues in our town. I volunteered in community nonprofits. I took workshops and talks on discussing the issues in town. I worked for the school’s nonprofit program which gave me more information about the community. I was so passionate about being in a part of something. But this was when I started to get confused about my identity. In my country, I had no such thing as a color. But now, I was categorized as a person of color. People talk about racial equity so much but I was always stuck in the conversation. I could not understand everything they say. Some were not logical. It was more about black or white. Yet, I had no leader of my kind who could understand my situation. But I was not even an American. I was not in a position to get involved in this conversation. I was just a stranger from another country.

Everything was confusing. I did not even have to play a part as a community member but I was trying so hard to find my identity. I went over to Seattle Asian Art Museum to look for... perhaps something that would accord me. They were exhibiting Korean Contemporary Arts Series but it just seemed so far away from me. I had no energy and I decided to rent a car on the way back home and the accident happened. Everything fell apart since then and I was searching for something that will fire my heart again but I was too afraid to go out even walk outside. I needed a help.

So, I first started to find back myself. I took a rest. I spent time by myself in my room, a space alienated from the city. Soon, I went out to a yoga studio, which perhaps the warmest place in Seattle. I always liked this healthy part of Seattle. People might be cold to each other but they really cared about themselves more than any other cities. That day, the yoga instructor said this and it melted my heart. “The world loves you. Do you love yourself as much as the universe love you? 

When I started to love myself again, I started to care about people around me.

Looking back, I remember making calls to people around me on the day of the accident. It was a rush hour and no one answered me but my boss at work answered me. As soon as I heard her voice, I fell apart and started to cry like a lost baby. But I also remember this counterpart driver being goofy at me trying to make me laugh and console me. He was one of the most positive person in late few weeks of rain and gloomness. He said “ I hope this experience doesn’t give you a bad impression about Seattle. Just take it as a learning experience.” As two strangers, my boyfriend and I felt weird yet thankful about the accident.

I went back to work right away. It was important to be present somewhere at this point. My job as an intern at a local art organization kept me busy till now and I had an amazing experience with them but too much volunteering work sometimes wore me down. As an international student, I could not get paid for my workload. So, I volunteered everywhere to experience everything and the time of the accident was when I started to feel tired about working for free. I came to US with my money of 3 years labor back in Korea. So, I wanted to make it meaningful. At this interning job, I had three bosses who were doing very important job for the community. They were small numbered but humble and hard-working people. They struggled to be present in Seattle. As out-of-Washington State citizens, they understood me and I felt comfortable with them. I always wanted to do something for them but I had too much limitation as a stranger in the city. I know that it had been only 5months but I only had 1 and a half years to achieve everything. And this burning heart might have burned me up in exhaustion. When I talked about this with one of my bosses at work, she understood me. And I could hear that she was also going through a similar problem. I thank them accepting me.

At another job, I met this amazing group of women leaders. Thankful enough, the job at the school campus was paying me at least. And I worked for a Nonprofit Leadership program. It was interesting how all the main instructors were female who excelled at their position in the community. One day, I was invited by one of our faculty’s house-warming party. I found out that many of the guests including faculties were part of LGBTQ community in Seattle. And I was amazed by what they were contributing to the society. I have been always  agreeing to a concept of ‘universal love’ but I did not understand the reality of love without a boundary. But hearing those people about their children, education, and community involvement inspired me. Later that month, I also found out that the faculty who invited us to the party was just diagnosed with a cancer. She is one of the brightest person in Seattle. She was from Indiana where I experienced US from so I felt her like my own sister. She was a young professor with a brilliant idea and warmth. She made fine desserts and always fed the office people. She one day invited me to her secret group to share her therapy status to the people she is a friend with. Postings came up once in awhile and she was the most passionate about her life more than anyone. I thank her including me to her challenge because I could feel her challenge.

At school, I loved my classmates. It took me a while to be friends with them but they always made me feel better. They were the people who would lead arts scene in towns. We shared our opinion and we loved fighting about social justice. One of the classmates who I was very close to was David. He was a boy from Minnesota who studied dancing throughout his life. He truly valued beauty in the world. He was an artist with positive energy and a future leader with awareness. Him and I always went to performances together with fancy dresses. We loved discussing about the arts we saw. We also loved talking about our ideas of arts in Seattle. He was performing a great job in a local museum curating and making things happen. It was like Haily in the Mozart in the Jungle. He was inspired and passionate about the new positon in Seattle. He inspired me to define my beauty as the person who I am. I thank him for his views and insights.

Thinking back, they were the people who inspired this city and strangers with different backgrounds. I found out that many of Seattle residents were from other cities. I was interested to hear this people and make their work important.

So, here I am with a vague idea of making “Strangers Collection” in Seattle.