#storiesofthefans

Hey! Here’s the second chapter to my fic. Eric makes his appearance here :) If you like it you can post it. Thanks!

Hard to Trust

Time didn’t ease your pain. Nothing helped. Your family was so loving and kind, but you could not see any light for the darkness you were in. It consumed you, it had consumed you for six months now. There was no purpose to life anymore.

You heard a slight knock then your mother appeared. “(Y/N), honey, dinner is ready. We’d all love it if you could join us.” She softly moved the hair from your forehead. After a moment of silence she headed back out of the room. “I’ll save a plate for you, dear.”

They were all wonderful, but nothing could help you. Beatrice had put a blanket over the window in the room so the sunshine wouldn’t hurt your eyes. Natalie left food for you to eat when you felt up to it. Even Caleb tried to do stuff with you, to keep you company, but you didn’t have the strength to move anymore.

Memories played in your head constantly. Jordan, Tobias and you when you were all young, playing and running. And laughing. Even remembering the good times hurt you. What stayed on your mind most was the last night with your love. The night he said he’d never leave you. The night he asked you to marry him. The night you gave yourself to him.

Tears burned your eyes as you thought of the kisses. You could feel his fingers on your skin as if he were there now. Finally the misery gave way to anger. You pushed your hair from your face, wiped the tears from your cheeks and got out of bed. As you brushed your hair you dreaded the decision to join your family.

Everyone was excited to see you. After a few uncomfortable moments the picked up the conversation. Your mother noticed you only moving your food.

She lightly touched your hand. “Eat, it’ll help,” she whispered. For her sake you took a few bites.

After the table was cleared you sat staring into space. Beatrice and Caleb cleaned while your parents talked. You got up and started back to the room you shared with your sister, but your father stopped you.

“(Y/N), could you stay for a while,” Andrew pleaded with his eyes. “I actually have a surprise for you.”

You resumed your spot at the table, this time picking at your nails. What could your father give you? Unless it was a time machine you really weren’t interested. He came over after everyone else went to bed, bringing you a glass of water.

“Nice surprise,” you mumble. You take a sip, letting him know you were thankful.

Andrew smiled, “That’s not your surprise.” He sat thinking for a moment. “I’ve been talking to Max, from Dauntless. That’s where Tobias defected to. He’s giving him some time off to come here. Not long, mind you, maybe a week or two, but at least it’ll give you a chance to say a good-bye. And to think about your future.”

You stared at your father. How was he able to pull that off? Could he find Jordan too? You didn’t want to seem ungrateful so you got up and hugged him. “Thank you. I’ll never be able to repay you for this.”

His arms tighten around you. “I just want my daughter to be happy.”

Then there was a knock at the door. When Andrew smiled and nodded you took of at a slight jog. You opened the door and Tobias was in front of you, only he was different. He walked inside and picked you up in an embrace. His muscles were thick enough to feel even though he wore a black leather jacket.

“It’s so good to see you,” you nearly cry as he sits you back on the ground. “How have you been?”

He frowns, “I’m more worried about you, (y/n). I’ve heard you’re not doing well.”

You drop your eyes and start fidgeting with your hands. “I’m okay,” you admit.

Andrew walks over. “(Y/N), why don’t you go on to bed? I’ll fix up everything for Tobias.”

“Actually, it’s Four now,” you hear as you walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only reason you got out of bed was because Tobias, now Four, was here. You still waited to leave your room until everyone else had left for the day. Four was sitting at the table so you sat beside him.

“Alright, (y/n),” he started. “Eat something. We’re going for a run.” He smiled as you stared at him like he was crazy.

“I don’t even feel like moving,” you complain. “Why would I go running?”

He frowned, “You need to move, and the fresh air will do you wonders.” He nodded to the refrigerator. “Now get some food.” You get out the plate your mother left for you and try to eat while Four talks.

After you ate he waited for you to get dressed. “I think Dauntless would love you,” he teases when you trip coming out of your room. You laugh dryly.

As soon as you’re both outside Four starts off running, then comes back to get you. “I’m not used to holding back,” he laughs. From then on he keeps his pace slow to stay by your side. It wasn’t long before you felt like you couldn’t go on. The past six months of not getting out had really taken a toll on you.

When you make it back to the house Four got you both some water. “We’re going to do this twice a day,” he tells you. “It’ll get easier,” he laughs when you groan.

Four let you go upstairs and take a nap. He could tell it was all hard on you. When you came back down you sat down and talked. Neither one of you mentioned Jordan, and that was just fine with you. Four told you about what he did at Dauntless. You had to admit, it did sound interesting.

Beatrice seemed thrilled to see Four when she came home. The three of you chatted and watched him demonstrate some moves while waiting on Caleb and your parents. You laughed as your sister tried to “fight” Four. He tried and tried to help her get her moves right.

“If it looks so easy then why don’t you try,” Beatrice scoffed.

Four smiled when you stood up, “This should be fun.”

You thought you had the stance down, but you couldn’t hit him either. After several failed attempts you gave up. Beatrice had gone into the kitchen to help Caleb leaving you and Four alone.

“Your stance is actually good,” he said patting you on the back. “You might be Dauntless after all. You should keep this up.”

“Maybe tomorrow, I’m ready for food,” you admit. He walks with you into the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four had you running morning and night and “training” during the days. You felt less like taking naps and more like yourself. You were really starting to enjoy yourself.

“Come on, (y/n), You’re not really trying. Get mad at me,” he said during a fight. “Get mad and really go for it.”

Exasperated, you let your hands fall to your sides. “I can’t Four, I can’t fight like you want me to.”

He ran his left hand through his brown hair. “Then fight Jordan.”

You felt as if he’d punched you in the gut. “What?”

Four squared off and jabbed at you. “Pretend I’m Jordan. Come on hit me.”

You backed up but he kept coming at you. “Stop Four, this isn’t funny.”

“I don’t know who Four is,” he said. “I’m Jordan and you haven’t seen me since I defected.”

Your back hit a wall. “No, no,” you started to cry.

Four punched the wall beside your head. “Don’t cry, (y/n). I didn’t cry. I just broke your heart and left.” His face was inches from yours. The tears fell from your eyes but anger rose as Four kept talking. His insults hit hard.

Having taken enough you punch him in the jaw. “You liar,” you scream. Four barely blocked your next jab. You kept going as you cried. “You promised you wouldn’t leave, but you did! Why did you ask me to marry you if you were leaving? Why did you sleep with me?”

Four dropped his arms and you hit him in the chest. He choked out, “What did you say?”

Your body gave out and you crumpled to the floor. “I had sex with Jordan. The night he asked me to marry him,” you cried.

Four sat beside you and held you while you cried. He didn’t say much, just consoled you as you let go of everything you’d held in for so long. After it was all said you were completely exhausted. He walked you to your room and left you alone to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that day you’d been so much better. Four had stayed for two weeks and you take care of yourself and make improvements. He trained you while he was here and you’d kept it up after he’d left. Beatrice would even work with you when she could. Your choosing day was there before you even knew it.

Before, you would’ve guessed that you were Dauntless. Four had really helped in that. But now, you were just terrified. Your aptitude test was inconclusive, or rather, you were divergent. You really didn’t understand, but the fear on the test givers face told you enough. You were supposed to fake an illness, but your stomach was so twisted you didn’t have to pretend.

Today you sat in the crowd and watched your father call on every eighteen year old to make their decision. They all had to choose whether they would stay in the faction they were born in or defect to another. You assumed they all decided based on their aptitude results. All but you.

Your father nodded as your blood dripped on the coals of Dauntless. It made you wonder if he sent Four to help you get ready, instead of to pull you out of your depression. Your mother smiled through her tears when you waved good bye.

Now the wind was blowing your hair around as you rode on the train. You’d jumped on as it past just like the other initiates. It was taking all of you to Dauntless. To be Dauntless. Fear ripped through you when you saw others jumping from the train onto a roof, but you took off and jumped as well. There were only a few scrapes on you when you rolled from your landing. Not bad you think as you watch the train go on.

“Initiates, here,” you hear a deep voice command. You and the others slowly walk over to where a man is standing on a ledge. “Now,” he yells.

As the crowd gathers in tight you’re pushed to the front. You couldn’t help but stare at the man all in black. He was so intimidating but so beautiful as well. You looked him over from large boots to his interestingly gelled hair and blushed when your eyes met.

“Hit your head too hard, Stiff,” he smirks as he jumps down and walks in front of the crowd. “I’m your leader, Eric, and I will be over your initiation process. Your first trial? You jump to get into Dauntless.”

You hear gasps as people look down. Someone asks, “What’s down there?”

Eric smirks again. You wish he’d quit that. It frightens you and turns you on at the same time. As if he heard you thoughts he steps up to you. “I think the Stiff should jump first.”

You nod and swallow thickly as you make your way up onto the ledge he was previously on. You turn to face the scared crowd while you tried to control your breathing.

Eric starts towards you. “Do you need a push,” he asks. Before he can touch you you shake your head and leap off backwards.

If you like it, I’d love for you to share.

Hard to Trust

You reach into your knapsack and pull out a small loaf of bread. The woman quickly takes it and mumbles, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” you say as she walks on. Every day after studies you and other Abnegation kids give food out to the factionless. Today your two best friends were with you and your younger siblings, Caleb and Beatrice.

Caleb was Abnegation through and through. He was so much like your father, Andrew, who had recently replaced Marcus Eaton as the Abnegation leader. His son, Tobias, was your best friend. It had come to light that Marcus had abused Tobias since he was young and this was the cause of his fall. The only reason he wasn’t factionless was because some of the other council respected him. They also trusted Marcus because he had been Head of Council for so long. How anyone could trust a man who beat his own wife and child you would never understand.

“(Y/N), can you help me,” your boyfriend, Jordan called out. Giving out the last of your rations, you walk over to him.

“How can I help,” you ask, following him into the shambles of a long forgotten building. Jordan raises a hand to hush you and quietly searches for any others around. Content with his findings, he gently takes your hand.

“You can help me by putting your lips on mine,” he grins. You feel yourself blush as Jordan wraps his arms around you and gives you a passionate kiss. All to soon you hear footsteps approaching.

“You guys need to be more discreet,” you hear Tobias say.

“Why,” Jordan teased. “You gonna tell your daddy?” He looked from Tobias to you. “I was just joking, lighten up.”

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” you say turning to your friend. “Sorry, Tobias. Are you okay?”

He looked hurt and was glaring at Jordan. “I’ve dealt with worse,” He responded.

You felt ice run through your veins. Marcus had done unimaginable things to his son. And he’d suffered for so long in silence.

“Are you two coming for dinner,” You ask after a minute. Tobias started to say something but shut his mouth again after looking behind you at Jordan. You saw the grin on his face before he turned and kicked at some ruble.

“We’ll see,” he said. Then turning back to you. “I’m gonna go check on your brother and sister. There’s no telling what she’s gotten into.

Jordan walked over with him and you watch them talk. They were both eighteen now and would be going to the choosing ceremony tomorrow. Your guess was that Tobias would choose to leave Abnegation, if for nothing more than to get away from his father for good. And who could blame him?

Jordan had talked about a future with you here. You weren’t worried. He loved what he did here and he loved you. Your eighteenth birthday was just a month away so you had another year before your own choosing day. But you knew you would choose to stay in Abnegation. You couldn’t wait for your future with Jordan.

While waiting for the boys to finish their talk you walk around, running your fingers along the old walls. It wasn’t long before Jordan jogged up and picked you up in an embrace.

“Were you being nice,” you ask as he put you back on the ground.

“Of course,” he exclaimed. “Actually I was asking him to keep Caleb and Beatrice busy later.” He kissed your forehead. “I want some time alone with you tonight. After our parents head to the meeting will you come over?”

You looked up into his dark brown eyes. “Is everything okay?”

He smiled and took your hand as you walk to your house. “I think it’s something to do with the ceremony tomorrow. My dad will be going so I will be alone most of the night.” You smiled at the thought. The two of you had never been alone together.

“And Tobias is staying with Caleb and Beatrice,” you ask. “You know they’re sixteen now, right?”

“No one likes to be alone, (y/n). Plus I think Beatrice has a little crush on him,” he winked. You laugh as you said your good-byes and walk into your house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner you and your siblings clean as your parents leave to go to the meeting. Tobias showed up as your put the last of the dishes away. Caleb headed off to his room and Beatrice stayed in the front room talking to Tobias when you headed out the door.

Jordan was outside waiting for you. He embraced you in a small hug and then invites you inside. He turns on a light and you sit down. You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to in a few years when you and he would have your own place.

“What’s on your mind,” he asks, sitting beside you. “Must be something good for you to smile that big.” He takes your hand and you lean in for a peck on the cheek.

“Just thinking about the future,” you smile. Jordan nods and stands. He walks to the cupboard in the corner then walks around, rubbing his hands on his pants.

“I’ve been thinking about the future as well,” he comments, still pacing.

You feel a lump in your throat. He couldn’t be leaving, could he? Was he breaking up with you? Your mind danced around these ideas as the silence grew on.

“(Y/N), your know tomorrow is my choosing day,” he paused, swallowing thickly. “You and I, we’ve grown up together, been best friends for as long as I can remember.” Jordan finally slowed, coming to stand in front of you. He ran his fingers through his wavy hair. You watched him lick his lips, the ones you’d only gotten to kiss a few times. Too many to count, but not nearly as many as you’d like.

You watched your shaking hand reach out towards him and you pull it back, fidgeting with your cardigan instead. You felt very exposed all of a sudden. “Jordan, whatever it is…”

He cut you off, “Tomorrow everything is going to change.” He knelt down in front of you and takes both of your hands into his. “I need this change,” he said quietly, looking sadly into your eyes.

You couldn’t breathe. Your hands went to your throat as your breathing hitched. Tears were blurring your vision. Coldness replaced the heat when his hands left your thighs.

“I don’t want to be just friends anymore. I want you to be my wife.” You felt him wipe at your eyes. You held your breath thinking you’d misheard him.

“What did you say,” you finally muster.

“Be my wife, (y/n). I love you so much,” Jordan whispered. “I want you by my side, forever.”

You look into his eyes, his own tears threatening to fall. Then you look down. In his hands he held a small box with a thin golden ring in the bottom. As you sit in stunned silence he pulled out the ring. Everything felt as if it were in slow motion as he pulled the ring from the box and reached for your left hand still clutching your cardigan to your throat. He carefully slid the jewelry on your finger and smiled when it fit.

Jordan watched as you turned your hand, looking at the band. “You’re asking me to marry you,” you mumble.

His head fell to your lap, “Yes. Now please say yes, I think I’m going to throw up.”

You smile as you lift his head, softly caressing his ears and lean into him for a kiss. You nod and whisper, “Yes.” Jordan played with your hair as you both cry. “I thought your were breaking up with me,” you whisper.

“No baby,” he said kissing you. “Never.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tobias was the only one up when you return home. He rushed to the door when he saw you.

“How did it go,” he smiled and reached for your hand.

You gasped, “You knew?” He laughed and nodded.

“I was sworn to secrecy.” You playfully punch his arm.

He hugged you before he left and you cried as he told you he’d miss you. You doubted you’d ever see him again.

Beatrice was asleep when you entered the room you shared. You undress quietly and let yourself think about happiness and Jordan, not hurting and Tobias leaving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Andrew and Natalie both had to be at the choosing ceremony so you were alone with your siblings. Caleb was kind enough to start breakfast before you and Beatrice came downstairs. Unfortunately you had a headache. Nightmares had kept you awake most of the night.

Beatrice wanted you to braid her hair. She noticed your ring as you turned her around. She couldn’t contain her excitement and asked you a million questions. You let her keep on as you made your way to the table. Even breakfast couldn’t quiet her much.

After cleaning you went back to bed. Your head still hurt and you were getting depressed about never seeing Tobias again. Before you nodded off you were able to console yourself by thinking of Jordan and how he would hold you when you missed your friend.

You were able to sleep all day until your parents came home. Beatrice had already told them about your engagement and Caleb was questioning your father on his duties during the ceremony and wondered what Jeanine was like.

“Do you mind if I walk to Jordan’s,” you ask as the talk calmed down. Andrew and Natalie looked at each other.

“(Y/N), why don’t you sit down,” your mother soothed. Your body was heavy as you obeyed. Beatrice sat beside you. Your mother began rubbing your shoulders as you twisted the ring on your finger.

Your father sat across from you and folded his hands on the table. “My dear, I’m sorry,” he started. You watched as he looked from you to you mother behind you. “I’m so sorry. Jordan chose to leave Abnegation.”

You stared at your father as he reached across the table to take your hand. Your mother continued to caress your shoulders and your sister hugged you tightly. Even your brother held your other hand as he knelt beside you. But none of it registered with you. You were too numb.