#stooker

And I’m doing Stookers. I love stookers. 

Best of all, I’m offering up custom stookers! The design for a headshot will be 2 USD and the design for a chib fullbody will be 4 USD, not counting the price for the sticker itself, just the design alone which you will get a separate file for!

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: BioShock 1 & 2 (Video Games), BioShock Infinite Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Booker DeWitt/Stanley Poole Characters: Booker DeWitt, Stanley Poole Additional Tags: Complicated Relationships, Melancholy Series: Part 5 of Bit's Biofluff 2025 Summary:

Greetings, esteemed post-human entities, sentient AI constructs, and the occasional interdimensional bystander. Today, we gather in this holographically-rendered lecture hall, set conveniently at the intersection of irony and overcomplication, to discuss the curious trajectory of human evolution through the lenses of analogies, hoopla, and the utterly perplexing concept of stooker.

Let us begin with analogies, the human mind's desperate attempt to comprehend complexity by simplifying it into bite-sized morsels of "kind of like that." Early humans famously compared love to a battlefield and time to a river—utter nonsense, but charming nonetheless. Their analogies were both the scaffold of their intellect and the chains of their ignorance. After all, when you equate your life to a box of chocolates, it’s no wonder humanity failed to conquer death before uploading their brains to the cloud. Analogies: the duct tape of thought—useful, sticky, and utterly inadequate for fixing anything truly broken.

Next, we turn to hoopla, a phenomenon that defines humanity more than opposable thumbs or language. Hoopla—defined as exaggerated excitement or meaningless commotion—propelled humans to their greatest (and most absurd) heights. Consider the hoopla surrounding sliced bread, the moon landing, and that brief period in the 21st century when everyone pretended NFTs were a good idea. Hoopla, it turns out, was not just a cultural quirk but an evolutionary mechanism. Humans thrived not by solving problems but by convincing themselves and each other that they already had. A truly ingenious species, if you don’t think too hard about it.

And now, the enigma of stooker. For those unfamiliar, stooker was the final great invention of pre-uploaded humanity: a word that means precisely nothing yet is used to mean everything. "Pass me the stooker," "I’m feeling stookered today," or "That plan is stookered beyond repair." Anthropologists speculate it was the ultimate linguistic adaptation, allowing humans to navigate a world increasingly devoid of meaning with a single, infinitely malleable term. It was, in short, a linguistic Swiss Army knife: blunt, overused, and surprisingly effective.

Finally, we must consider how these traits shaped human evolution. Analogies allowed humans to leap mental chasms they were too impatient to bridge properly. Hoopla gave them the motivation to leap at all, often into said chasms. And stooker? Stooker was the safety net, the verbal shrug that cushioned their fall. Together, these quirks propelled humanity from the caves of ignorance to the virtual utopias they now inhabit.

But let us not romanticize. Humanity’s evolution was less a straight path than a chaotic dance, choreographed by a drunk philosopher wielding a thesaurus. And yet, here we are, basking in the glow of their peculiar legacy.

So, as you navigate this stookered-up cosmos, remember the lessons of analogies, hoopla, and the boundless adaptability of the human spirit. Or don’t. After all, it’s all kind of like a simulation anyway.

LIFE IS WAY TOO SHORT FOR BAD COFFEE!

Hey folks, today is all about good coffee. I'm such a coffee lover and always hunting for high quality, fresh coffee beans. This is where Stooker Roasting Co. comes in. Stooker is a specialty coffee roaster in Amsterdam. They hunt for the most tasteful beans from all over the world. Their goal is to roast delicious coffee while making sure that the entire supply chain from the grower to exporter are fairly and properly paid. Thumbs up! This is exactly why I wanna introduce them to you, folks.

I am absolutely impressed by the packaging itself. Stooker coffee appeals to both design and coffee lovers like you and me. Freshly roasted beans lose their flavour over time. Therefor Stooker supplies us with the freshest beans possible. They manage this by roasting on demand. This time I have chosen #6 Costa Rica filter coffee and placed my order online at Hello Frankie Store. After that Stooker roasted the Costa Rica beans on the following Thursday. Hello Frankie Store send the beans before the weekend, so I could start my week with fresh Stooker coffee. The smell when I opened my package of freshly roasted coffee beans on Monday was awesome. Ground coffee or even stored roasted coffee beans cannot match up to freshly roasted beans.

What kind of brewing method do you prefer? While doing my A-levels, I was used to brewing with the french press. When I was sharing a flat with other students, we're using a conventional filter machine. As I discovered an old Melitta filter on the flea market, I started grounding fresh coffee beans with a hand mill and brewing coffee with that cute little porcelain hand filter. Last Christmas I got a little Chemex and now I drink next level shit coffee each morning. I can fully recommend you investing money in this filter-drip coffee maker as your resulting cup coffee will be light, bright and delicately nuanced - simply beyond delicious.

What's more, I admit I'm drawn to the Chemex as it is one of the most beautiful design objects with its charming wood handle and leather cord.

Here's a little Chemex brew-it-yourself guide for you. All measurements are referring to the small Chemex brewer (1-3 cups). 

CHEMEX BREWING

WHAT YOU NEED

Chemex brewer

Chemex filter

freshly roasted coffee beans 

grinder

coffee mug

INGREDIENTS

19g freshly roasted coffee beans

300ml water + more for rinsing your paper filter

HOW TO BREW

1.

 Weigh and grind 19g coffee, medium-coarse grind setting.

2.

Boil water.

3.

Fold and place the filter into the Chemex with the three layer side facing the spout. Rinse with hot water to remove any paper flavor and preheat the Chemex. Pour away the water.

4.

Add your ground coffee. Wet the grounds with a small amount of your pre-measured hot water (75ml), pouring it in a circular motion to wet all the grounds. The coffee will begin to "bloom". Wait 30 seconds.

5.

Add the rest of your water in a steady circular motion starting from the center and working your way out.

6.

Once the coffee finishes dripping through (3-4 minutes), remove the filter, serve and enjoy your cup of coffee! 

Renz Jordan ~ “Human Horror”, 2015