#stoner tips

Cannabis labels demystified: your guide to choosing products that actually work for you

ok real talk. standing in front of a dispensary menu or staring at a product label can feel overwhelming af. THC percentages, terpene names that sound made up, strain classifications that may or may not mean anything... it's a lot.

but here's the thing: once you learn what to look for, those labels become your best friend. they're basically a cheat code for finding products that match your vibe instead of just guessing and hoping for the best.

let's break it down.

what you'll typically see on a label:

THC & CBD content - the heavy hitters. usually shown in mg for edibles/tinctures or percentages for flower/concentrates. higher doesn't always equal better btw. your ideal potency depends on tolerance, what you're trying to achieve, and honestly just how your body works.

terpenes - these are the aromatic compounds that make your weed smell and taste the way it does. they also influence how you feel. citrusy limonene, earthy myrcene, floral linalool, piney pinene... each one brings something different to the table. if a product lists dominant terpenes, pay attention. this is actually more important than the indica/sativa label imo.

strain name & type - like Blue Dream or Granddaddy Purple, plus whether it's indica, sativa, or hybrid. tbh the indica/sativa thing is kind of outdated science but it gives you a general starting point. the real story is in the terpenes and cannabinoid profile.

product type - flower, pre-rolls, vapes, concentrates, edibles, tinctures, topicals... knowing what form you're working with tells you about onset time, duration, and how to dose properly.

the numbers game:

when you see percentages (like 22% THC), that's telling you what portion of the total weight is THC. for edibles you'll see mg per serving instead (like 5mg THC per gummy). always check serving size vs total package so you don't accidentally eat way too much.

some labels show "total cannabinoids" which adds up THC, CBD, and all the minor players. it's useful context but doesn't tell the whole story on its own.

minor cannabinoids you might spot:

CBG - focus and calm

CBN - sleep and deep relaxation

THCV - energizing, may suppress appetite

these work together with THC and CBD in what's called the entourage effect. it's why two strains with identical THC levels can feel completely different.

terpenes deserve their own section:

seriously, terpenes are where the magic happens. they're what make cannabis a full sensory experience beyond just "getting high."

common ones to know:

limonene - citrus vibes, uplifting mood

myrcene - earthy and sedating, classic couch lock

linalool - floral and calming, anxiety relief

pinene - pine scent, mental clarity and alertness

caryophyllene - spicy/peppery, stress relief and anti-inflammatory

learning which terpenes work for YOUR body turns random strain shopping into a personalized experience. like once you realize myrcene puts you to sleep but limonene keeps you energized, you can make way better choices.

other stuff worth checking:

batch number & lab results - legit products come with COAs (certificates of analysis) from third-party labs. these confirm potency and check for contaminants like pesticides, mold, heavy metals. look for QR codes you can scan for full results.

harvest/packaging date - fresher is better. cannabinoids and terpenes degrade over time so older product might not hit the same even if it's technically "fine."

dosing info - especially for edibles and tinctures. know the mg per serving AND per package. start low, go slow, be patient.

bottom line:

the more you understand what you're reading, the less overwhelming it gets. labels aren't there to confuse you, they're there to help you make informed choices about what goes in your body.

if you're ever unsure, ask your budtender. that's literally what they're there for. a good dispensary wants you to leave with something that works for you, not just whatever has the highest THC number.

happy shopping ✌️

It's so goddamn easy, there's no excuse for a dirty bong. Allow me to save you the trip to some ad-riddled web 3.0 article by telling you how I do it.

You need:

An amount of isopropyl alcohol, preferably 90% or higher. I typically just pour to the normal water line.

An amount of table salt. Don't worry about measuring, this isn't a chemical reaction.

Actual pipe cleaners, the pokey kind that you can find at any smoke shop.

Pour the salt into the bong through the neck. Pour the alcohol into the neck. Cover both holes, shake until clean. Dump alcohol in a small vessel with the bowl. Flush out your bong by pouring hot water into the neck, letting it empty through the stem. When you've flushed out the alcohol, shake the hot water and salt solution, dump out.

Cleaning the bowl: I like to let it sit in the alcohol I dumped from the bong. When the bong is clean, I take a pipe cleaner to the bowl; any residue should wipe off super easily after a few minutes sitting in alcohol. Rinse bowl, you're done.

Why this works: Isopropyl alcohol will soften any residue you've got stuck on. Salt isn't soluble in room-temp isopropyl alcohol, so it works as an agitator, scraping off what's been softened by the alcohol. Salt will dissolve in hot water, however, which makes it easy to remove from your piece. Additionally, the small amount of salt water left will resist bacteria and mold.

then make tea with the three lotuses, rose petals, and chamomile

now put on some psychedelic banjo

1. Start low and go slow. When it comes to cannabis, it's important to remember that less is often more. If you're new to the world of weed, or trying a new strain or product, it's always best to start with a small dose and wait to see how it affects you before taking more. This will help you avoid overdoing it and will give you a better sense of how much you need to feel the desired effects.

2. Experiment with different consumption methods. Cannabis can be consumed in a variety of ways, including smoking, vaporizing, and eating. Each method offers a different experience, so it's worth trying out a few to see which one works best for you. For example, smoking provides a quick and intense high, while vaporizing is a more gentle and longer-lasting experience. Eating cannabis, on the other hand, can take up to an hour to take effect but can provide a more potent and longer-lasting high.

3. Consider using cannabis as a supplement to other activities. Many people enjoy using cannabis to enhance their favorite activities, such as listening to music, watching movies, or even exercising. For example, some find that cannabis can improve their focus and concentration during a workout, while others enjoy using it to unwind and relax after a long day. By incorporating cannabis into your routine, you can make the most out of your experience and enjoy the benefits of this versatile plant.