Smoking weed is fun as fuck but I get how awkward it is when you’re starting out. Everyone seems like a pro and you feel like an idiot. So heres my guide on becoming a stoner.

Before you start:

There is such a thing as smoking too much

When you’re starting off, your tolerance is probably crap. Don’t smoke too much, because if you do you’ll probably just shut down, i’ve seen it happen. You’re basically a zombie and  pass out. If you’re feeling chill, it’s ok to say you’re cool. you don’t need to keep smoking if you’re already having a good time. Your friends might give you hard time but there’s nothing worse than having someone babysit you.

Beware of Edibles

When trying edibles, try to be with someone who has experience with them just in case you take too much. Almost all edibles are overmedicated which means you shouldn’t eat the whole thing at once. Most edibles take 15-60 minutes to set in. I recommend starting with a bite the size of a quarter coin to a mouthful and wait 15-45 mins. Then after the high hits, wait at least 20 minutes before taking another bite. And then 30 mins in between bites after that. Edibles can be overwhelming so don’t take too much to fast. If you’re eating candies you should eat a few at a time. Most edibles come with the THC mg on the package so each candy has a fraction of that. Try not to eat too many.

You don't need to keep eating edibles, if you're stoned you should be good for at least two hours.

Do Not Smoke out of Aluminum

smoking out of aluminum pipes or cans is the absolute worse thing you could do for yourself. its bad for your lungs, its bad for your brain, and its bad for your blood. i recommend avoiding this as much as possible. apples and fruit make good pipes with a little work.

The Basics

Measurements and Pricing

an Ounce/Zip is usually about 28 grams and will cost anywhere from $200-$400 depending on where you buy it and the quality of the weed.

a Quarter of an Ounce is 1/4 of and ounce and is typically 7 grams and will cost you $60-$80 depending on where and quality

an Eighth is 1/8 of an ounce and is 3.5 grams and ranges from $30-35

a Gram is the basic measurement for weed and refers to weight. 

A gram will cost anywhere from $10-$15 depending on where you get it an quality. $10-$12 is a good price $15 is good if you buy from a shop. Unless you’re buying private reserve at a shop or whatever, anything over $15 is a bit much

a Dime is $10 worth of weed and is usually about a gram

a Dub is $20-$25 depending on where you live, 20 is common in the west coast but 25 in some of the more eastern region. its usually about 2 grams

Equipment

Pipes

the most common pipes are spoon pipes and are pretty basic. it has a deep bowl where you put the weed and most have a hole on the side called a carb. a carb is used to clear the chamber when smoking. you load the bowl with weed, cover the carb with your finger, spark the bowl, and release the carb to clear the smoke. its pretty simple. I wouldn’t recommend this for sneaky smoking, the weed gives off a lot of smoke when it burns and usually keeps burning after its lit. some refer to it as cherried because the way it burns. plus the smell of a pipe is pretty strong.

the best pipes are glass pipes. they’re cheap and many are pretty cool in design. they can cost anywhere from $5-$45+ depending on design and customs. i suggest investing in a good sturdy pipe about $10-$30 depending on how much you can spare. many places sell thick shatter resistant glass pipes. don’t be afraid to ask about quality and price.

Bongs

Bongs are water pipes. there is a main chamber where water is filled; a downstem which should lie under the water to filter the smoke, and a bowl to hold weed that should attach to the downstem.

Glass bongs are the best option but can get expensive the more intricate the designs and can be easier to break. A good basic glass bong could cost anywhere from $25-$45. Keep an eye out for painted bongs, i once bought a glass bong that was painted black and over time the paint started chipping.

Acrylic bongs are made of thick plastic like resin and are more durable than glass bongs. Acrylic bongs are good if you’re starting out. Their crowd friendly and can handle wear and tear and even drops. But overtime acrylic bongs break down and start affecting the taste and quality of the weed.

Bubblers

Bubblers are similar to bongs but are almost always one singular piece. its like a pipe that you fill with water basically. Usually you load the water through the bowl or mouthpiece. a basic decent bubbler would cost anywhere from $20-$40

Rigs/ Dab Rigs

Rigs are waterpipes and are usually more advanced. Their used to smoke concentrates and oils. most dab rigs have a nail that serves as a bowl. its heated with a torch to a temp that evaporates the concentrate on contact. the smoke is then filtered through the bong-like rig. I would not recommend dabbing until you have built a tolerance to weed and can handle high doses

Vapes/Vaporizer

Vaping is the healthiest way to enjoy weed. Most oil vapes that are very similar to regular vape pens. There are also dry herb vapes that are used with actual weed. you load the weed into an “oven” that bakes the thc right off :)

Joints

Joints are weed cigarettes, weed rolled in rolling papers, usually hemp. 

Blunts

Blunts consist of weed that's been rolled in cigarillo wraps. Swisher's are a common brand that are easy for beginners to get the hang of.

Spiffs

Spiffs are joints that have been rolled with both weed and tobacco. 

*You should always ask the people you're smoking with if they’re okay with smoking tobacco. Just because people smoke weed, doesn't mean they want to smoke tobacco.

Types of Weed

Sativa

Sativa is the uplifting strain. Its good for active days and staying awake. This is the type to smoke when you got shit to do. its an active high good for a busy day.

Indica

Indica is the body high. its good for long hours on a couch or marathon gaming. Indicas are good for pain management and are more dulling. Most indicas give strong munchies and might even make you sleepy.

Hybrid

Hybrid strains fall somewhere in between. Its a good balance between mind and body and are good for a chill high 

Riverbay Seafood Bar & Grill is a great place to relax if you’re in an altered state of mind. But, you should be aware of a few things if you are going to go high.

The first thing I want to mention is that all parking is valet parking. Meaning, if you just smoked a jay on your way to their Mineola location, someone else will be entering and parking your car. The valet might be cool, but he might not, so just beware. I usually park on either of the side streets which tend to be very residential.

Also, this place will be full on the weekends during peak hours. So, even though it means thinking ahead, you should get your head out of the clouds and call to make a reservation. Finally, when you make a reservation, try to get a seat near the window or in the bar area. Both are much better places to chill in, and the other half of the dinning area is a bit stuffy if you ask me.

Ok, now for what to expect when you actually get there. They have a coat check room directly to the right once you walk in, so bring a few dollars at least to tip the nice lady working there. The hostess is to the left upon entering and both the window seats and the bar are directly behind the hostess. The lighting is just a tad, tad bright but definitely not really something I would complain about. In some seats, a big hanging bulb will be directly over your head. They make my wife feel like she is getting questioned by the police Basic Instinct style.

The servers are a bit sarcastic. Nothing over the top and actually kind of friendly, their attitude might throw you off if you are really, really baked. They will be on point though and are very helpful if you have any questions. The specials are usually written in chalk on each wall near the bar, but my wife and I usually get the same items. She swears by the seared, sesame tuna and orders it rare. This particular dish ties for 1st place in her “Best Tuna Ever” official rankings, so you should check it out if you are a rare tuna lover. I usually get the colossal fried shrimp with a side of French fries. You are going to want to split the pear salad as an appetizer. Trust us on that one.

For those that like sushi, they have sushi. And, from what we hear, it is very, very good sushi. But, we haven’t had the sushi, so you will have to be the judge on that one. Also, their desserts are numerous and usually pretty tasty. I would stick with the cheese cake, but we haven’t had anything we didn’t like.

Again, after you have a few and realize just how great the food is, you should be able to cure any case of the munchies. The only thing that could get you here is being too mellow. If you are feeling a bit too mellow, start with a shot to loosen yourself up. If you have the right frame of mind, you should end up loving this place.

Final Stoney Grade: 3 ½ coughs after a bong rip with a nice comfortable couch to nap on afterwards.