#stellher

@stellher​ wrote:  “  when will it be enough?  ”

          gaze flickers away from the sight of his dead world, a quick glance towards the skaigada before his eyes simply drop to stare blankly at his reflection in the window. he looks as marred as the earth. scars littler his hands and face, the mark of his royalty contorted, burned by black rain. in azgeda, they said to be proud of ones scars. it shows you survived. it shows you lived. but what do you do when you didn’t want to?  how can he celebrate a reminder of his failure?   

“  i can’t tell you that,   ”  honest, words come out gruffly. maybe it should be. he should be more grateful to be alive. everyone else here has people to miss as well, things they have lost. but it feels as if it’s still enough to them, to have some little family up here. they are each other’s people now and he supposes they are his but...it still doesn’t feel right. he doesn’t belong here. jaw clenches as his gaze shifts around a moment, arms crossing over his chest he had not meant for this burden to be on anyone else’s shoulders but his. perhaps, he is not as good at hiding his struggle from the rest as he thought. at least not from her. 

          roan is not very materialistic, but there are some things he holds onto. one of them is a necklace ontari gave him when she was a young girl. she made it from simple string and put a bone pendant on it. he isn’t normally one to wear extra items, but he always has it on beneath his shirt. he took it with him in banishment and refused to ever trade it, even when he was at his lowest.