After reading it, I finally understand what has made this series so popular. Vanyel is a fascinating character, and I greatly admire the author for not giving him an “ideal hero” type of personality, at least in the first book. Vanyel is beautiful, clever, and the best Herald-Mage of all time, but he is also vain, has a tendency to self-pity, can be a bit selfish, and is deeply hurt after years of abuse that made it difficult for him to trust people. This is a combination of character trait that I do not expect in a classic fantasy series, especially one written in the 80s (but perhaps my expectations of a classic fantasy series hero are a bit skewed). Vanyel is also gay, which is something that is definitely out of the norm for a fantasy series written in the 80s. Speaking of, I was surprised by how real the LGBT+ representation was in the first book : aside from Vanyel being gay, Tylendel is bisexual and Starwind and Moondance are a gay couple. Tylendel dies, but it is completely unrelated to his sexuality, and he is a developed character whose death greatly impacts those who loved him, especially Vanyel. While there are a few questionable things here and there, it is still much better than one could expect or hope for the time period, at least in my opinion.

Vanyel’s abuse and the consequences of it are represented in an interesting way that felt very compelling and realistic. I really like when works of fiction acknowledge that abuse does not make you a saint and can give you some deep personality flaws. Vanyel’s vanity, self-pitying tendencies and lack of trust in people almost cut him off from forming true connections with people. Furthermore, he doesn’t find a true community that fully accepts him as soon as he lives the abusive one, which is a trope that I fully understand (wish-fulfillement and everything) but that I don’t necessarily like. Even at the end, when he is in a much better place that he started in and has made some positive relationships, he is still not fully content with his life, which is understandable.

I also found very interesting the way adults were depicted in that novel when it comes to their relationship with Vanyel. Mostly, they all fail him in some way or another. Some redeem themselves and learn from their mistakes, like Savil (who is one of my favorite characters) and some have to leave Vanyel’s life, like his father. However, even if Vanyel manages to find some trusted adults and mentors, like Starwind, Moondance, and Savil after Tylendel’s death, the impact of the rejection and abuse he has suffered from means that the damage is already done. In fact, this is what this book felt to me : less of a self-contained plot, and more of an explanation of how it got to this point, how Vanyel became who he was. Perhaps this is what this trilogy was intended to be : an explanation of Vanyel, his choices, and why he made them, less than a traditional story.

It could also probably be a plea in favour of therapy for kids! Seriously, so many things would have turned out better if Vanyel and Tylendel had been sent to therapy (or its universe equivalent) from the start.

Speaking of Tylendel, I liked his relationship with Vanyel, as flawed as it was. He was the first person, aside from Lissa, to actually bother to try to understand him and give him affection. He was a ray of hope for Vanyel, which was why his death hit so hard, both for the characters and the readers. The most cruel thing is indeed to give a man hope and then snatch it away. However, it is also clear that Tylended could never completely be what Vanyel needed. Vanyel needed a protector and a lover, but he also needed a companion to help him grow, and Tylendel was simply way too inexperienced to understand that. I have read some spoilers about Tylendel though, so we’ll see what happens in the next books.