#statusfrustration

The art of deviance. Sociologists found them rebels' causes. There's always a reason. It seemed so right to listen to New Order while reading this.

I wish that they would offer a “reality” course in university. Like many recent grads, I am struggling with life outside of academia. Having graduated last April, I feel so stuck and literally trapped in my own life. When you are in school, time is measurable by semester or deadlines and success is measured by your GPA or how many essays you can pound out in 12 hours. But now, I feel stagnant. I feel as though I have no direction, no compass to guide me to where I’m supposed to be. I have been fortunate enough to land a decent job. But I’m still drowning in debt to the point that I can’t yet move out on my own. Working regular hours is certainly a change in pace and I don’t really feel like I know how to measure time anymore. Weeks go by and time flows constantly and it means nothing. There are no great hallmarks to work up to right now. I feel like I am accomplishing nothing and it is driving me crazy. Everything just feels so monotonous and I become a little more restless each day. I feel a little more trapped every week, more unsuccessful each time that one of my friends lands their dream job or scores a sweet apartment. I feel a little more childlike as I get older. The irony is that a couple of years ago, I couldn’t wait to be where I am now…but now that I’m here, I can’t wait to go back to where I’ve been.