Jan 13, 2014
HELLO YES HAPPY BIRTHDAY I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE c:
THANK YOU SWEETIE THIS REALLY MEANS A LOT ;U; !
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HELLO YES HAPPY BIRTHDAY I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE c:
THANK YOU SWEETIE THIS REALLY MEANS A LOT ;U; !
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♪ c:
Gravity - A Perfect Circle :)
✎ (i know it's selfish, but) could you write my url, starvingheart? if not, then could you write 'penis' lol
I know that some random person online won't help much, especially with such a complicated and messed up situation, but please know that it is not your fault. I can see that you obviously love and care for her and that you were trying to correct things, so please don't be so hard on yourself, dear. I mean, of course I don't know the entire situation, but it sounds like your life might just be better off without her, maybe. If she isn't even putting forth any effort (even pushing against you)...
No, you do help... people always help, even online... that's why I asked for help. I just need someone to talk to. Someone to tell me what to do, give me advice. It IS my fault. If I hadn't gotten her into roleplaying none of this would've happened. Well... it probably would've, just based on how she interprets feelings and intentions, but it wouldn't have happened so quick. It's all my fucking fault for even suggesting it. She doesn't know how to diferentiate between real me and my roleplay character. She just assumes that when I yell at or scold HER character or just am not very nice IN CHARACTER, it HAS to really be Hannah yelling at or scolding or insulting KELSEY. It's not. Not even a tiny little bit, but she's not been through all of this like I have, hasn't learned that RP takes a LOT of mind altering (manual thinking change) to work and not destroy real life friendships. I lost SOOOO many friends when I first got back into rping a couple years ago. I was suicidally depressed and starting cutting myself for the first time in my life... because with rp, it's REALLY hard to separate real life and roleplay emotions since it simulates REAL relationships, whether they're romantic or platonic... and she doesn't get that yet either. I started to tell her she might need to take a step back and that this was a bad idea only about two weeks after she started because I could SEE her getting in WAY over her head and getting extremely attached to her new roleplay boyfriend right off the bat. Shirking responsibilities and losing sleep to be online more... and I feel intensely guilty about that because once again, it was ME who asked her to come play this character for me and my rp husband. I'M the reason she's in such bad shape and struggling with so much in relation to the rp taking up school work time and fucking.. sleep and just... this is my fault. I literally feel sick with guilt and hatred for myself. And no, she isn't putting forth any effort, but then she never really did. She never talked to me unless I initiated it, but then she was great and awesome and fun and it was all perfect... but I always had to be the one to initiate, and if I just left her alone I wouldn't hear from her until I messaged her again or something... and yeah, that DEFINITELY took its toll and made me feel incredibly worthless and just like an annoyance to her.
I just feel like she fucking broke me.... and I've tried SO. HARD. to right this and everything else she kept getting pissed at me for this past month or two and she UTTERLY REFUSES to be rational or reasonable in ANY respect at all. I can't. even. fucking. express how intensely upsetting and FRUSTRATING that is. Like... HOW CAN I BE ANY MORE DIRECT OR HONEST OR FUCKING NICE? I'M TELLING YOU I LOVE YOU AND I'M SORRY AND I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY AND I'M TELLING YOU WHAT I ACTUALLY MEANT AND YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUBBORN AND SET IN YOUR WAYS, EVEN THOUGH YOU COMPLETELY MISINTERPRETED AND ASSUMED SOMETHING COMPLETELY FALSE, THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN HEAR THE TRUTH.
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT THAT?! I can't. I believe too much in the goodness and humane-ness of others... I don't know... this just doesn't make any sense in my mind and I feel like it's breaking me. I don't know what to do. And honestly, you're probably 100% right that I'm much better without her in my life, but that doesn't get rid of the triggers that set me off when I'm reminded of her. I just don't know what to effing do... :'(
galactic-kitty said: what how could u
im so sorry rosie i have failed u *dramatic music plays*
plz let me make it up to you with brownies that look like pumpkins and a promise to stream the movie on Halloween night u v u<33
castiel-the-companion said:DON’T WATCH OUT WITH YOUR 98 YEAR OLD GRANDMA
[[CACKLES MENACINGLY]]
(nah but my 98 yo grandma watched the musical RENT which is about homosexual and trans! people in NYC dealing w/ HIV so she might be able to handle it)
itsmyspoopyhat said: if you could you should definitely go to a theater and see a shadow cast of it they’re really really fun and cool
aHHHH I've wanted to do that ever since I read Perks of Being a Wallflower but I don't know if anyone does it near me- or if I'd even be able to make it to a showing. I'll keep an eye out though! u w u<3
starvingheart said: it’s really terrible tbh all my friends were obsessed with it in high school and wowwww I couldn’t even watch the whole thing (omg don’t hate me please)
oh man really? that sucks to hear. and hey hey no shoooooooshhhh it's okay. like wow even if I was obsessed with the movie I don't think I could hate you just for expressing your opinion. thank you for letting me know what you though of it! u v u)/<3
krspaz said: whispers I haven’t seen it either, you’re not alone ovo
ahaha, thanks for letting me know. we can be the minority that have yet to see it u w u<3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Tagged by: wanderlustedfangirl Rule 1: Post the Rules Rule 2: Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, then make 11 new ones Rule 3: Tag 11 people and link them to your post Rule 4: Let them know you tagged them Questions: 1. If you could travel in to any fictional world (book, movie, tv) where would you go and what would you do there? I don't know where I would go or what I'd do. I should figure this out. 2. Are you in any fandoms? If so name as many as you can that you are in. No, I just like things. 3. What country do you live in? U.S.A 4. Where are the pickled peppers Peter Piper picked? Hopefully in a frig so they stay edible 5. Interested in anybody? Nope 6. Your favourite quote? "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." -Steve Prefontain 7. One word that describes you best? Okay 8. What would be the first thing you would save if your house was on fire? A picture of my grand parents 9. Do you procrastinate a lot? More than the average person 10. Summer or winter? Summer 11. What are some of your bad habits? I chew on my headphone wire Pretending to sleep when I could be doing something productive Starting things and not finishing QUESTIONS FOR TAGGED PEOPLE: 1. What shape is a pentagon if you cut the corners? 2. What is your favorite flower? 3. If you could only eat three types of food for the rest of your life, what would they be? 4. What was your favorite movie when you were little? 5. Where do you want to go? 6. Mulan or Pocahontas? 7. Country of origin? 8. Why was Sally selling sea shells by the sea shore? 9. Do you like nature? 10. What are your hobbies? 11. Do you smile at strangers?