#started strong

John Doe vs Neoplasm: That's Not Him

In the first post, I mentioned my belief that the identity talking at the end of Neoplasm was John pretending to be Mikoto rather than the actual Mikoto speaking. While Mikoto gives off the, "I'm just a silly guy, just a normal bean living his best life," vibe, he treats Es's accusations seriously. In John Doe, Mikoto is adamant that he has done nothing wrong, and points out that Es could be jumping the gun by labeling him a murderer because Es knows about as much as Mikoto does about any murder. Mikoto tells Es what his impressions of his fellow prisoners are, and then he guesses that Milgram could have mistaken Mikoto for someone else. Es shoots back with:

"You're not lying. Milgram is always right. If both these statements are true, it's only natural to arrive at that conclusion [Mikoto repressed the memory of killing someone], isn't it?... To escape psychological stress, humans may repress certain memories as a coping mechanism... If I believe you, there's no other logical conclusion, since I still prioritize my faith in Milgram over your statements... A murderer without the memory of the murder"

Their words send Mikoto into a panic, and we meet John for the first time. And I'm now realizing that that last statement might be why Mikoto keeps insisting for Es and the audience to look at him and believe him in his songs. Es (and we, the audience) prioritized believing Milgram over him. Oh Mikoto, you tricky, little sneak, you~ When Mikoto switches back at the end of John Doe, he voiced his confusion over how he and Es suffered injuries and seemed to be somewhat aware that something happened that he doesn't remember, "Wait! You're covered in bruises too! What's wrong? What happened?" Mikoto sounds scared. Now, compare this to what we see in Neoplasm.

We can see that the Guilty verdict has taken a mental toll on Mikoto, even if John's existence interferes with Milgram's punishment. After Es chains him at the beginning of Neoplasm, Mikoto glumly admits, "Well, I mean... I do get it. I... go out of control while I'm asleep, right?" Mikoto tells Es that he knows he got into a fight with Kotoko because the others told him about it, and how he knows that Es and the prisoners are scared of him. He's miserable, but he still tries to laugh it off, which leads to him and Es discussing the habit. Es lays it out clearly: denial is Mikoto’s main coping mechanism. Mikoto even agrees with it, stating that he prefers to pretend that he’s fine rather than actually acknowledging how upset he is. Only this time, his coping mechanism is failing, and acknowledging that seems to trigger the switch with John. Throughout John's part of Neoplasm, John lets Es lead the conversation and gives short, vague answers regarding the murder. He manages to rattle Es, by demanding to know what their opinion on Mikoto’s culpability is, not what the law would say. John’s ‘parting’ words are, “If you forgive Mikoto… I’ll disappear… That’s right. I’ll have to disappear eventually, anyway… Disappear and take all of it with me. I… was born to protect Mikoto after all… Yeah, if it’s for Mikoto, I’ll do anything.”

Then the bell rings, startling Es. ‘Mikoto’ asks who the John they are referring to is, and then quickly assumes that it must be Es’s dog. He then goes on to try to guess the breed until Es interrupts him. Now, why bother calling attention to the allegedly final words of John and “Mikoto” asking about the dog. This “Mikoto” doesn’t display any sign of disorientation after switching back, and he also fails to comment on the loss of time, instead asking about Es's "dog." The disorientation isn't necessary, as we saw with that one timeline convo where Mikoto was shouting for John to come out, Mikoto didn't express any confusion about briefly losing time. It's the behavior that gets me. Before John began to front in Neoplasm, Mikoto was understandably upset and trying to understand his situation. He knows that he was losing time, and right before John and him had switched, Es and he were discussing how his coping mechanisms were failing him. Now Es is talking about their "dog," with no smooth transition in the course of conversation. "Mikoto" does not object or try to redirect what should be seen as the conversation going off-tangent. "Mikoto" doesn't ask what happened to cause this change, and instead cheerily asks about the dog. Maybe Trial 1 Mikoto would have done so, if only to get on Es's good side, but Trial 2 Mikoto is in physical pain from his fight with Kotoko (that he can't even remember), and emotional pain because of his Guilty Verdict and realization that something's wrong.

Mikoto may act happy-go-lucky, but he's a prudent guy with a knack for planning ahead so he gets what he wants. Am I really just supposed to believe he's going to dive headfirst into that silly bean act of his when he's beginning to put together the pieces of the puzzle known as his life? No! To quote Haruka, "It's weird." I genuinely think that this is just John pretending to be Mikoto, rather than Mikoto actually switching back. Why? To remind Es that Mikoto is just a harmless guy. And it being John, rather than Mikoto, at the forefront would explain why Double differs so dramatically from MeMe. Which brings me to my break down of Double.

Double's Unclear Boundaries between the Mental and Physical World

Genuine aside here: Mikoto is so much better at persuasion than John is. Had John not have interfered and attempted to manipulate the situation the way he had, I might have actually bought Mikoto's story that this all had he did was have a bad dream. Mikoto may be telling the truth in that he truly thinks that he just dreamed of killing the blond, but John is so bad at covering for him that I spent months writing, and then re-writing this damn post to prove John's lying and so is Mikoto. God, I love messy characters. And I mean that.

Back to serious mode, okay? While most of MeMe takes place in the physical world and then cuts to Mikoto's mindscape, Double seems to almost entirely be in Mikoto's mindscape. And where in the MeMe post, I sequentially broke down the most important frames, I think that here I want to call attention to the most important frames. I initially used Mikoto's eyes to track whether Mikoto or John was fronting. But as you'll soon see, Mikoto's eyes are hidden or otherwise obscured during what I believe are the key parts of the video.

The limbal ring is the dark ring encircling a person's irises, providing a clear border between the iris and sclera (whites of the eyes). Throughout Double, you can see that there is an orange spot below Mikoto's pupil and above the limbal ring. Occasionally, you can see the reflection of light in Mikoto's eyes, and when this light is on the limbal ring, it gives his eyes a bit of an orange glow, and this orange glow signifies that John is the one fronting. When the reflection of light is above Mikoto's pupil or otherwise not seen, Mikoto is the one fronting. I'm currently thanking God for giving me the foresight to not hold strong with the Trikoto theory, because the sake of my health depends on there only being Mikoto and John.

The first image is of Mikoto and the second is of John. Going back to the left-right dichotomy that these two have, Milgram has associated Mikoto's right side with himself and his left with John. And here, we are shown the eye identifiers for Mikoto and John on his right and left eye, respectively.

But wait! When Double opens, we see Mikoto's left profile (and his sense of joy leaving his body). And if you look at the frames where Mikoto lowers his head, you can see the orange dot in his eye and the light above his pupil until the screen shatters, distorting our view of his eyes. But, the lyrics and body language can tell us that that's John. But that's Mikoto on John's side of the screen. This breaks the left-right dichotomy! I have two possible explanations for you:

This scene is meant to represent John's 'birth' and so breaking the dichotomy does not matter because it has yet to be established.

The dichotomy Mikoto spent the first video creating actually does not matter because John just inadvertently revealed that Mikoto and John are two sides of the same coin. This scene signifies John witnessing Mikoto's distress and forcibly switching during Neoplasm, or some other stressful event before Milgram.

Both ideas are "fun" and fit with the lyrics to come. I think it is important to note that no lyrics are sung until the screen shatters and we see who we presume to be John sing, "I've got you / Leave it to me." We know that John sees himself as Mikoto's protector and that it is his role to relieve Mikoto's stress. Sure, it was probably meant to be John's 'birth' in response to a stressful event, but number 2 is a hell of a lot more fun and plays John's reactive personality (playing it by ear) against Mikoto's more shrewd and proactive one. The next forty seconds do not show Mikoto's eyes, but we can guess that this is most likely John based on how he acts. And the lyrics.

Mikoto prides himself in being considerate to others, while John will do what he thinks is best for Mikoto, others be damned. John ignores his boss's angry texts and when he finally answers the phone, he holds it far from his ear that Mikoto would have a hard time hearing any putdowns or guilt-trips his boss gives him. He indulges Mikoto's nicotine habit by smoking instead of vaping, and even worse, he smokes in an enclosed surrounding, not very considerate towards the mannequins, so going by behavior, this is John. The lyrics in the scene support this, "Keeping things at bay / you're doing your best / 'No, I need to do more..." / say what? You're gonna break / Me, the newborn, other you / I'll take it all on / Doesn't matter if you didn't wish for it / can't get rid of me now /Just the two of us / relieved, aren't you? / I'll protect you (us)" In addition to what we see, we can hear John's protective nature in the first half and then his more selfish, short-term thinking in the second. John seems to believe that so long as he takes care of Mikoto the way he sees fit, things will be fine and Mikoto will be grateful for it. The last line, "I'll protect you (us)" is telling in that it explicitly shows John willingly embraces this protector role, but that there is some self-interest in his motivation. John doesn't only protect Mikoto from the consequences of his actions, but also from those born of John's wrongdoings.

As Mikoto wakes up on the morning train, the screen cuts to Mikoto's right eye, where the light is above Mikoto's pupil and we can see the orange spot on his eye still. This is Mikoto, and he sings, "All I did was dream / and that's what you found GUILTY / 'He's a liar,' you said / and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?" Hey, doesn't that sound familiar to MeMe's, "I'm probably just having a bad dream / I need to wake up soon / Why am I here? / It must be a mistake / Take a good look at me / Until you find me" Y'know, I just ragged a bit on John for doing the, "That's a dog's name," bit twice and now Mikoto is pulling the bad dream bit twice. They really are more similar than either would like to admit, eh?

Back to the matter at hand. As the sunlight in the background overwhelms the shot, we can see the switch between Mikoto and John as John goes into, "Hey now, I saved you, right?" The screen goes black, and you can see John (the twin orange lights on his limbal rings gives him away) sitting on the night train, surrounded by bloody mannequins. John continues to sing, "So why in the hell are you crying?" and the shot closes in on his left eye, where you can see the light under the orange dot, on the limbal ring.

The next scene is of John shoving the mannequin into the train door and then smashing it into pieces with what looks like a left-hand swing. The bat definitely originates from Mikoto's left side, but it takes a downwards arc rather than level swing. We only see Mikoto's face, and therefore see the orange lights on his limbal rings signifying John is in control, after the orange-red blood is wiped away. But wait, that just means that John wiped away the blood, but it doesn't say with 100% certainty who swung the bat, and like I said, learning to bat left-handed is something Mikoto would do, not John. But judging by the confident, more demanding lyrics of that scene, "Cling to me, hoist me up as your savior / stand up and sing out your gratitude / that'd be good" I think we can reasonably assume that John swung the bat in this scene.

My first several versions of this draft asserted that this must symbolize whatever John did that was considered blackmail-worthy in the blond victim's eyes. I still think that this is supposed to symbolize that, but now I look at my theory #2 for why the left-right dichotomy is inconsistently followed throughout Double, and wonder, is this John's imitation of the murder? The first blow delivered to Mikoto's blond victim in MeMe came from a left-handed, level swing of the bat, and the killing blow was that over-the-head, downwards blow. This can't be the murder because it contradicts what we explicitly saw in MeMe, so it has to be the blackmail-worthy event. I think this has to be the blackmail-worthy event of John lashing out, but I can't entirely discount the idea that John just did a rushed version of the murder seen in MeMe by combining the two deadly swings of the bat into one. The lyrics can support this to a degree, because in order for John to take the blame and save Mikoto from punishment, John needs Mikoto, Es, and us to believe that John is bad but Mikoto is good. Mikoto needs to get with the program and sing his heart out to Es and us for that Innocent verdict.

You see why this took me forever and a half? John's definitely sloppier than Mikoto, but he's damn good at muddying the waters. I have to give him that much credit. In my head, it's about 60:40 that this scene represents the blackmail-worthy event against John putting on a show to ask, "BAM! See? Am I bad enough for you now? You'll forgive Mikoto, right?"

Next scene. Mikoto rides the morning train and pulls at his hair, but the lyrics hint that John is the one singing while Mikoto is in control, warning Mikoto that, "You're overdoing it / you're already broken." And then the screen cuts to the nighttime train, where we see a stressed Mikoto in the background, and John riding at the forefront symbolizing that John is control. John has decided, "But if you persist, I guess it's my job to keep things on an even keel, / Me, the other you / I'll take it all on," and we see John stand up with a bit of a smirk as he hefts the bat up with his right hand and smacks it against his left hand. This was some really nice imagery. We could not only tell that who was Mikoto and who was John, but it shows that while John knows Mikoto and his struggles, Mikoto really doesn't know that John is there. Mikoto really didn't know about his DID before Milgram.

There are two ways that I think you can read this scene as: A.) this takes place before the murder and depicts John switching with Mikoto and attempting to relieve Mikoto's stress through whatever avenue he deems appropriate, or B.) this is just more of John grandstanding to make himself look like a villain. A.) is much more likely than B.), but I want to put it out there, since I was hung up on the lack of left-right separation.

The phone call scene is another disorganized scene in that John is doing a fabulous job of muddying the waters. As established in Undercover, Mikoto's kill Es frame shows Mikoto performing a left-handed swing of the bat into Es's lower back. This is presumably the left-handed swing that crippled the blond victim, forcing him to use his hands to drag himself away from Mikoto rather than run, as seen in the beginning of MeMe. But the left-handed swing of the bat in the phone call scene is the second swing of the bat scene, not the first. The only, clear right-handed swing of the damn bat is shown first!

And as you can see, the orange light is on the limbal ring, so this should be John. And we hear Mikoto, "Oh, hello? Mom? It's been a while" as we smash cut from John swinging the bat to Mikoto talking on the phone. The orange splotch is hidden but the light is above his pupil, signifying that Mikoto is fronting, and this seems to be further supported by the soft-spoken tone. Smash cut again to the left-handed swing of the bat going into the mannequin's head. And of course, we cannot see the eyes, but wait, why is that smashing into the mannequin's head, when we know that the left-handed swing went into the victim's lower back? Why was it shown second? What the hell? All great questions. They still bug me, which is why I left this alone for chunks of time. I wanted to come up with answers, but I'm not nearly as confident during Double as I was with MeMe. Yet, Double is what convinced me that Mikoto did it. Let me finish the shots and I'll explain to the best of my ability.

The next smash cut after the left-handed swing is of that orange-red blood flying through the air. It cuts to Mikoto's right eye, and the orange splotch is still there. But, there is no light reflected anywhere in Mikoto's eye. Not above his pupil, not anywhere on the limbal ring, just the impression that Mikoto's eyes are opening as his phone call with his mother ends. Another smash cut to Mikoto's phone falling into his lap as the song goes back into full swing.

The number of smash cuts during the phone call scene and the following chorus make this the must jarring part of Double for me. It feels as if the animators purposefully mixed up the pieces for us. That right-handed swing cannot be the first blow, for three reasons: Undercover established that the left-handed swing was the first blow, all of that blood splatter spraying backwards indicates that that there was a prior hit, and John's arms are positioned as if he is drawing the bat back over his shoulder. The only logical explanation for this right-handed bat swing is that John or Mikoto has hit the victim at least once before this frame and is currently repositioning the bat to take another swing. This may be the first proper baseball batting we see, but it is not the first blow dealt to the victim.

The left-handed batting frame that we see next is not 100% what we saw in Undercover. In Mikoto's "Kill Es" frame, Mikoto swings the bat into Es's lower back. But here in Double, Mikoto or John swings the bat at about waist-level, but instead takes off the head of a sitting mannequin. Making it even more difficult, the right-handed swing takes place in the lit area while the left-handed swing takes place in the darkened train compartment. The music video does try to associate Mikoto with light and John with darkness, but it's not faithful to those associations. The two most egregious examples would be witnessing Mikoto's profile go from happy to despondent over a dark background at the very beginning of Double, and when John shoves the mannequin into the train door and sloppily smacks its head in (you can see the light outside of the train compartment). Hell, John's clear right-handed swing during the phone call takes place in the light as well. The dichotomy established in MeMe has been thrown out the window, and I'm mad about it because I spent the first two posts talking it up, only to toss it out.

John, I take back what I said in the last post. You might be a great accomplice after all. I still want to hold by my earlier assertions, but I can't tell if they're blinding me from seeing the full picture, or if the reason why I can't make sense of Double is because it's mostly told by John's perspective, and John is trying his best to take the fall for something Mikoto did, hence all of my stumbling.

This should represent the murder scene, but the scenes seem to be out of order. Mikoto calling his mother makes a modicum of sense because most people associate mothers with comfort and Mikoto is in hell right now. He seems to be on the urge of breaking as he talks to her. But Mikoto brushed off his mother's worries the same way he brushed off Kazui's concerns during one of the more recent timeline conversations. Maybe, Mikoto wanted to tell her and be comforted, rather than ignore the problem or fight back. Maybe Mikoto thought about his mom and what he last said to her during the murder and that's why it came up during Double's depiction of the murder.

It's speculation, I know. Back to the chorus. "I don't even know / the reason why I'm here / 'He's a liar,' you said / and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?" While Mikoto sings, he is sitting in the back corner of the subway train compartment, too far for us to get a proper look at his face. The windows are bright white and there's orange-red blood everywhere. Mikoto stands up when he notices the blood, and then the shot changes so that we can partially make out Mikoto's face. Mikoto is visibly sweating, and while we can see the orange patch on his eye, there is no light on the limbal ring or enough of his right eye in the frame to check to see if the light is above his pupil, marking this as truly Mikoto. I believe it's Mikoto, but I don't have proof other than the shocked demeanor. Mikoto asks why, and then the shot jumps back to reveal Mikoto standing in the bloody train compartment, but the windows are now dark.

My primary take of this three shot sequence is that this is Mikoto realizing the gravity of what he has done. It was pointed out to me that Mikoto is holding a baseball bat in the opening of MeMe, hinting at premeditation, but I can't find the picture. Maybe Mikoto just meant to frighten the blond with the bat, or maybe he did plan to kill the blond from the get-go. Either way, there's thinking of it and then actually doing it, and the shock shown here by Mikoto reflects that. Shock and horror over what he's done would be reasonable, and ties in with his, "My life... it wasn't supposed to be this way," line from the Trial 1 trailer. The cut from light to dark may signify that John is now fronting and dealing with the murder scene, but even so, Mikoto cannot entirely erase this memory. But since it's so horrifying and is coupled with John's intervention, it seems like a vivid nightmare rather than reality. I do really like the mirroring that's done in the first and third shots shown here, and I believe that it's significant, even if you disagree with my theory and interpretation.

Alright, Mikoto runs, and I can only have so many images in one post, so I'll make this quick. The orange lights on the limbal rings are faintly visible as Mikoto runs, hinting that this is really John, not Mikoto. If I had to make a conclusion, I would say that this is John. This scene may be representative of John panicking and rushing to clean things up before Mikoto switches back. It's out of character, but John is panicking because holy shit, Mikoto finally snapped and that's not what he's meant to do. Speculative, yeah. Next cut. Mikoto's back is to us as he stalks down the subway train compartment, so it's near impossible to tell who is walking. He's carrying and swinging the bat using only his right hand, like how we saw John do earlier in Double. The assured walk and then frustration expressed Mikoto swings the bat backwards with his right hand signals that this may be John.

Meh, I don't like it either. I do, however, like the ending frames where Mikoto's hands are bloodied. If you look at the first Mikoto, you can see the light at the top of his eyes, signaling that this is Mikoto. The blood is solely on his left hand, which is behind him and supporting him. There is no murder weapon. The camera pans up where we see John, with the faint orange light on his limbal rings, standing there with the same bloodied left hand, this time holding the bat.

I believe that the bloodied left hand ties into the fact that the left-handed swing was the first swing of the baseball bat. It's the guilty hand~ But more importantly, Mikoto is clearly panicked and using that bloodied hand to hold himself up, which I think supports the idea that Mikoto killed his blackmailer after the blond showed his proverbial hand. John is just standing there without much expression, which is unusual for what we know about his personality. He looks confused, but he is holding the murder weapon with the same bloodied, left hand. This may represent John taking the blame but just making stuff up as he goes along.

Cut again, and now both of Mikoto's hands are bloodied. The light is still at the top of his eyes, signaling that this is Mikoto. The last thing Mikoto does is try to smile, and then he breaks down and apologizes, smearing blood over both eyes.