#starchildwritingstuff

The thought slowly settled in his mind, exhaustion and resignation putting a dull feeling in his chest. He had been here before, in “The Clinic” as the people here liked to call it. But he knew that clinics are to help people that are hurt. And this place did the exact opposite. This place was a lab. And he had been created here. From some scraps of DNA the doctors had collected and altered.

Baekhyun didn’t know the specifics of how the lab worked, how they got the resources they needed, what the purpose of it all was. And he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to know. And while the question of “why” was a huge mystery to Baekhyun, the goal of The Clinic was quite clear. They wanted to create a new species. They were breeding hybrids. And Baekhyun was one of those.

Raised under constant probing and testing for the first couple years of his life, then put in a shelter with other hybrids to be socialized and later to be sold. And even then, there was no escaping The Clinic. There were regular checkups and tests the hybrids had to undergo, even after being bought.

Baekhyun crouched on the cold bed, thoughts racing. Why was he here again? Why didn’t he remember how he got here?  Why didn’t he remember what had happened before he fell asleep? Anxiously, his tail wrapped around his legs while he rested his chin on his right knee and he realized how helpless he was. He didn’t know what to do, how to get out. Damn, he didn’t even know what year it was.

Goosebumps spread over his skin. This was the most scared he had felt in a long while. It reminded him of when he was still a puppy that hadn’t known anything but the lab. Even back then, when he was entirely disoriented, he knew this was not a good place. He might not have understood it back then but he had felt distinctly that this place was harming him.

The utter silence made Baekhyun nervous. Or was it just the lack of any hints that would indicate other alive beings close by? He didn’t know and his ears twitched restlessly, eager to pick up a sound. Any sound. Just… anything besides the sound of his own beating heart.

Baekhyun put his head between his knees and buried his hands in the hair at the back of his head, tightly shutting his eyes and praying for it all to go away. Praying that, when he released all the tension in his body, he would be at a better place, a safer place.

But Baekhyun was scared. He didn’t dare to let go, to loosen his grip on himself. Any moment without your guard up would be exploited. That’s what his years in The Clinic had taught him so painfully. He couldn’t let go. They would come and immobilize him in ways that hurt and give him medicine that made him feel sick and run tests until he passed out from exhaustion. He couldn’t let go. He couldn’t let go. He couldn't-

A blaring noise ripped through the quiet, so sudden that Baekhyun let out a bark. That never happened. But, gosh, this was an alert of some sort and Baekhyun could practically feel this horrible, booming sound vibrating in his bones.

He had to get out.

Faster than he thought his body would be ready, he scrambled off the bed. The floor was unbelievably cold against his bare feet, but he started running towards the exit anyway. He pulled harshly and opened the door just far enough so he could slip through and out in the long, white hallway that was rhythmically illuminated in deep red from the flaring warning light. Baekhyun didn’t have time to look around more, he just bolted into a random direction. All he wanted was to get away from this room, but as soon as he had started running down the hallway, he started to hear steps behind him. Fast. Running.

He peaked. It was the nurses. Their skin-tight, white uniforms had them look like they were clones themselves. They might as well have been. There was no way of knowing what else was going on in The Clinic - and if there was a way, Baekhyun didn’t want to know it, wanted to be as far away as possible from that way. 

When he heard the nurses’ steps accelerating, Baekhyun ran even faster. He had not expected to have enough strength for that. His sight got blurry and his cheeks were getting wet. He could tell by the cold feeling that bloomed where the tears were running down his face. But he couldn’t stop running. Not when there were these nurses following him. They would catch him and do God-knows-what to him and-

-- -- --

Baekhyun opened his eyes so abruptly that it startled you a little, despite having tried to wake him up for the past few minutes.

He had been shaking in his sleep for a while now. You were laying next to him, waiting for this painful scene to come to a halt again but it only got worse the further the nightmare progressed. He started whimpering and yipping, making the most puppy-like noises you have ever heard from him.

You had tried to soothe him without waking him at first, started with rubbing his back and stroking his exposed arm. That usually calmed him a lot – but not this time. So you adjusted his blanket that he had kicked away from his body, letting his own warmth comfort him and, as a last resort, softly petted the wild strands of his hair. But nothing helped. When tears started running down his face, you decided it was best to wake him up and free him from whatever was going on in his head.

You had a pretty good idea what he must have been dreaming about. That was not the first time Baekhyun had suffered from these nightmares and when it got as bad as tonight, they were most likely about The Clinic. Just the thought of that place started a fire of scorching fury in your belly. They gave him pain his entire life and not even now that he got out of their grasp, he had no peace. You didn’t want to imagine the things that happened to the hybrids and other “experiments” there. Actual living beings, scientifically created there, only to-

You closed your eyes and forcefully stopped your train of thought. Your anger wouldn’t help anyone. Not right now, in the middle of the night with a scared dog hybrid sitting next to you, his messy black-and-white hair sticking out in every direction, puppy ears pressed flat against his head, whimpering quietly in the darkness as he wiped the tears from his face with shaking hands.

You took a few deep breaths and slowly so that Baekhyun wouldn’t get even more scared, wrapped your arms around his warm body from behind. And as soon as Baekhyun felt your presence, he let himself melt in your hug and shifted to rest even more comfortably in your arms, turning around to rest his head against your chest and your arms to wrap around his shoulders. Softly, you started to stroke his back again and tried to breath very calmly so Baekhyun’s irregular gasping for air would calm eventually as well.

You knew better than to confront him with questions in this situation. He needed to calm down first, realize that he is not in a dangerous situation anymore, that he is at a safe place, and he needed to take his time for that. The last thing both of you needed at this moment was another panic attack caused by Baekhyun being overwhelmed.

You lifted your eyes from the top of Baekhyun’s head and gazed towards the window. Tonight, the temperatures had dropped deep, and it had started to snow. It was always the first icy cold nights that gave Baekhyun the worst nightmares. It had something to do with the whiteness, quiet and cold that reminded him of The Clinic. It made you even more determined to create good and happy memories in the winter months with him.

You loved the winter, the crisp cold and how the first snow makes the world look like it has been put under a spell that makes everything really still and silent. It had always felt magical to you and even if Baekhyun would always feel a much greater relief when spring would finally come around, you didn’t want the nightmares to be the only thing Baekhyun remembered from winter nights. But it would take work to get there. He had been through too much. You had heard a lot about it from Baekhyun already but you weren’t sure if you knew everything yet. And if tonight’s nightmare brought up new memories that caused the dream to be especially bad this time around.  

a/n: hey admin s (@starchild--27) here, i wrote this instead of my thesis-

huuuuuge shoutout to @heartcravings who came up with the main tropes of this thinggy with me <3

also, if you want to spend some more time with these characters, check out the additional content (visual inspo, soundboard playlists and such) here

Despite all the beauty around him, Jisung let out a frustrated sigh. Why do none of the lines work out? Why isn’t it coming together the way it’s supposed to? With a little more strength than intended he crossed out some of his notes, tossed the notebook into the general direction of his backpack and let himself fall back, laying down on the roof with his gaze towards the sky, watching the clouds passing by. The traffic noises were much more quiet up here but still a buzzing in the background that didn’t help Jisung’s focus at all. He felt restless, unsettled; he needed to move, he decided, and sat up again, scooting back from the roof’s edge and tied the double knots in his sneakers again.

Quickly, he grabbed his backpack, threw pen and notebook in there to accompany two of his comic books and his big headphones, closed the zipper and strapped on the bag over his dark blue hoodie jacket. The summery warmth would still cling between the high buildings so he left the zipper open and only pulled the hood over his head, then his mask over the lower part of his face, covering his nose and mouth but leaving his eyes and forehead free. He had toyed around with full-face masks and tighter, sportier suits for a while but he was much more comfortable in his wide jeans, simple t-shirt and hoodie, being able to feel the wind in his hair as he took his swings from one street corner to another.  

Another of Jisung’s favourite things was the drop. Granted, the whole jumping-from-buildings-business had been really scary at first when he wasn’t able to control his new-found powers properly - before he became Spiderman he hadn’t even been able to control his normal, non-superpower limbs properly most of the time - so it had taken some time for him to finally take a leap (literally and figuratively) of faith an just… jump, letting himself fall, knowing and trusting he’d be able to catch himself anytime. He felt most powerful when he was racing to the ground, right before he stretched out his arm and let webfluid shoot from his wrist. 

Most people were too busy waiting at traffic lights, hurrying home or making phone calls to notice him as he practically flew through the streets, above their heads. Yeah, he was pretty damn grateful he didn’t have to bother with walking or waiting at street crossings anymore and swinging from one building to the next, speeding through the streets of his hometown always had the wonderful effect of clearing his mind, sharpening his supernatural senses. It was a wholly different and much superior way of experiencing his environment, when he could blend out the noises in his head and solely focus on the city pulsating around him.

That was exactly why he almost swung right into a wall when he heard a scream for help - it had disturbed the city's rhythm, his rhythm. Sigh. Oh well, he wasn’t Spider-man only for himself. He knew it was his responsibility to use his powers to help people in danger, even when he was in the middle of curing a nasty writer’s block. So he changed course to where the screams came from, steady in his pace again. The shouts of “Help! We need help!” got louder and Jisung got more nervous. He wasn’t that good at fighting crime and rescuing people yet, he had only done this a handful of times and he hoped desperately that one day the pang of uneasiness that spread every time as his brain was processing what he was about to do would disappear. 

Another shout. He took a deep breath and tried to fully concentrate on the task ahead instead of his insecurities. Maybe it was only somebody’s cat stuck somewhere really high again? That had been his first rescue. Cute, yet slightly insane, orange cat stuck on a roof. But he had to be prepared for everything, now that he had decided to build some sort of reputation for himself.

“Help!! Help, here's someone in danger!” The voice was really near now. Voices, actually, one cursing, a darker one shouting for help. How hadn’t he seen anyone yet? He swung onto the next roof and halted for a moment.

“Hello? I’m here to help, I just can’t see you,” Jisung shouted to the streets, no idea what else he could have done to announce his presence. 

“Oh, thank God. You’re that Spider-kid, right? There’s- My friend- Gosh, he just hangs there, he’s been in distress for- I don’t know, he’s been hanging here for I while and-”

“And I don’t know how long I can still hold myself so hurry-the-fuck-up!” That was the second voice.

“Yeah yeah, it’s Spider-man, by the way. But I still have no idea where you are. Are you like… really high up or-”

“Down here, you idiot. Not everyone can reach the rooftops as easily as you can!” The second voice again. Yes, this guy definitely sounded a lot more strained than the first one. 

Figures, thought Jisung, if he’d been holding his own weight for a while now. And in a dress too. Maybe it got stuck somewhere while the guy was doing some sort of parkour challenge?

Normally, Jisung would consider his creativity and imagination strengths that had helped him through a couple quite dire situations, but looking back to this particular case… Yup, he definitely would have appreciated it more if his brain had questioned what he had heard for at least a moment before making up an elaborate backstory for a situation that, well, wasn’t quite as he understood it to be.

As the two figures finally came into sight, one hanging from a metal rod that served as a connection between two flat roofs (for reasons beyond Jisungs’s understanding), the other standing safely on one of the roofs, Jisung shifted fully into superhero mode. One athletic somersault, two powerful swings and a graceful landing later, he found himself next to the first guy - and was surprised to see that the darker voice he had heard belonged to a kid around his age, his boyish face littered with freckles over his cheekbones and button nose. Somehow, he had pictured a more grownup person. But okay. Now was not the time to be distracted by that. The second guy still needed his help with the dress. 

Quickly, Jisung mapped out a smooth rescue in his head and then took a running start, so it was a little anticlimactic as he slipped rather ungracefully after three steps. Luckily, he caught himself again, cringing internally at his own clumsiness, as he jumped from the edge of the roof, shooting a string of webfluid with one hand as the other grabbed the hem of the guy's dress. It was pulled down easily enough, successfully freeing the clearly also teenaged boy from the piece of clothing.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING??”

Jisung flinched so hard at the angry scream, he let go of the fabric in his hands and almost missed his laning on the next closest roof. Okay, something had gone wrong.

“DIDN’T YOUR FRIEND SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU BEING STUCK IN THIS DRESS??”

“Oh my God- YONGBOK-AH, WHY DID YOU GET THE MOST INCOMPETENT SUPERHERO EVER TO RESCUE ME??”

Jisung cringed again, beginning to slowly understand what had just happened here. Yeah, with this kind of miscommunication, he had really earned it to be called incompetent.

“I SAID, HE WAS HANGING THERE! IN DISTRESS! REALLY, WHAT MADE YOU THINK THE DRESS WAS THE PROBLEM HERE??” That was the deep voice again. Yongbok, as Jisung had learned.

He was too embarrassed to say anything more as he went swinging back again to pick up the boy that was now hanging there, wearing nothing but boxers and a pair of socks. Jisung landed squatting on the rod, keeping his balance with ease.

“Sorry, you can... um, just let go, I’ll catch you,” he said, now at a normal volume.

The other boy muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a brutally sarcastic “Very trustworthy”. But he let go with nothing much but a quick squeal. Jisung jumped right after him, catching the boy by the waist and pulling him in. 

“Now hold on.”

Another sarcastic comment. But Jisung was too focused on getting the two of them on stable ground again to understand it.

There was an awkward silence after they landed next to Yongbok and the formally-hanging boy had let go of Jisung, bringing some distance between them as Jisung himself was desperately trying to find his speach again.

“Um… Sorry, again, for… you know, that messy… whatever. I… I’m still new to… err… well, all this. So yeah, sorry, um…” Jisung stammered out, grinning apologetically as he was met with scowling face. 

“Minho.” Ah. Minho. Still looking at Jisung with that stern expression.  

“Ah. Yeah, sorry, Minho… Is there anything else I can help you guys with? Or should I just… go?”, he asked in quiet, almost careful tone. 

Minho raised his eyebrows without giving an answer, a certain expectation clearly written on his face. 

Dumbfounded, Jisung just stared back at him. How was he supposed to know what that meant? He was not a mind-reader! 

His eyes darted towards Yongbok for a moment, who looked strangely amused by this whole interaction. So no help from him either. 

Jisung’s gaze shifted back to Minho, whose face, in the meantime, had been drained of all the expectations, making room for a dry, resignated glare, as his eyes flashed downwards for a short moment. Jisung’s eyes followed the movement and- oh. 

Yup, that was definitely the lowest point of this stupid disaster mission.

“I’ll.. I’ll go get the dress,” he murmured and hurried to where the dress had slipped from his grip, returning to Yongbok and Minho in a heartbeat. 

“Thanks,” Minho said pointedly, immediately taking the dress from Jisung's hands and putting it back on, “That would be all.”

Jisung was dead-set on leaving as fast as possible, but… there was still something that- How the fuck did Minho manage to get into this situation in the first place? He opened his mouth to say something. 

“Don’t even ask. You don’t want to know. And even if you did, I wouldn’t tell you.” Another glare. Yongbok couldn’t hold back a giggling laugh now though. So that was that. 

Sigh.

“Well, um.. goodbye then," Jisung said, defeat clear in his voice, as he turned around to disappear in the heights of Seoul’s skyscrapers again.

“Bye, Spider-kid. I’ll try to get stuck at high places more often now. You clearly need training before you can call yourself Spider-man.” 

Wait. Had that been… a cheerful tone? Jisung turned around again and saw Minho smiling, now clearly amused by the absurdity of it all as well. 

“Mmh, can’t wait,” he added with another awkward grin. “See you around then.”

And apparently, it could also summon the man, you thought to yourself at hearing the sounds of an approaching car. When it came to halt in front of your house, you pulled your mother in one final goodbye-embrace. She swayed a little from left to right as she held you tightly and gave you a soft peck on your cheek, which made it really hard for you to be annoyed when you heard her whisper next to your ear.

“Do you have a tent?”

“Junmyeon brings the tent, Mom. It’s gonna be fine, please, let me go? He’s waiting outside already.”

“Okay, darling,” your Mom said, giving you a final squeeze before she gave you space to grab your coat and oversized backpack.

“Does he want to come in for a moment? You two could stay for a cup of coffee or tea?”    

You snickered at how chipper your Mom suddenly sounded at the mention of Junmyeon. She really adored him and how he was always polite and always on time and always respectful and reliable. He was the best boyfriend a mother could want for her child. And also the perfect son-in-law - you were quite aware of that yourself and suspected your Mom had already dreamt of a perfect wedding.

But that wedding would definitely stay a dream for some more time. Junmyeon and you were only together for a few months now - far, far away from any wedding plans - and he was your first serious boyfriend. Your first, great, world-shaking love and all you wanted was to take your time to experience all of its beauty fully and as naturally as it came. You felt no pressure to rush any steps, only the security that Junmyeon thought the same way about your relationship and the fact that he considered your bond equally precious as you did, multiplied the butterflies in your stomach by a thousand.

“I don’t think we have time, we need to be at the camping site no later than 5,” you explained, giving your Mom a last quick peck on the cheek before opening the front door. Junmyeon had gotten out of his car already and was rummaging through the trunk to make a little more space for your things.

“Have fun, sweetheart,” your Mom smiled and gave a wave to Junmyeon who had emerged as soon as he heard your mother’s voice.

“I will,” you smiled back at her, “Bye, Mom, see you in a few days.”

“Bye-bye”, she squeezed your hand, then you went to finally greet your boyfriend with a soft kiss. 

“Hey,” he said and instantly took your hand in his with the warmest smile.

“Hi,” you responded a little shyly, feeling all kinds of bubbly at his lovely action and the sound of his sweet, gentle voice.

“Your mom seems quite happy you are leaving for a few days, huh?” he teased as he took the huge backpack from you. 

You snorted. “Mh right, if you want I can drive alone and you’ll stay here with her. I’m sure she’d be delighted to have you around,” you joined in on his joke and watched him loading your backpack in the trunk with swift movements.

“Yeah, she would, I’m charming like that. But I’d be much more delighted to have you around, so no last minute changes to the plan.”

His words made you blush a little. How dare he make your heart all soft and mushy like that, your inner voice squealed while you made your way to the passenger seat. 

“Have fun you two!” your Mom shouted one last time before she went back into the house, to which Junmyeon replied with one of his nicest smiles and a happy “Thank you, we will!”

Your heart fluttered even more seeing him being just as excited about this trip of yours as you were and by the time Junmyeon had taken his place in the driver’s seat, starting the engine, you were grinning like the happiest person on the planet. And who knows, maybe in that moment, you were.

The drive itself was calm, filled with nice music and easy-flowing talks, and even setting up the tent once you had arrived, worked out perfectly - well, at least after one of the camping site’s staff offered a helping hand. But it was fun, and filling the interior with mats and blankets and all kinds of different pillows felt a lot like building a cozy blanket fort. 

You were surprised by how soon the sun was setting though, getting the tent to take shape must have taken longer than you had thought. There were a couple of trees that casted long shadows over the otherwise quite empty site. It had been a smart idea to plan the trip a few weeks before the actual summer break, so that there were no families crowding the place. And the two of you had picked a spot a bit more secluded from the few other campers anyway.

You actually had pretty much forgotten that there must be others around somewhere and didn’t bother thinking more about them as Junmyeon hurried towards you to show you the pictures he took of the stunning sunset. He handed you his phone so you could thumb through his camera roll to pick your favorites as he put his arms around you to hug you from the side, finally pressing a kiss against your temple.

“You hungry?” he mumbled, his lips still grazing your skin. You nodded as an answer, still immersed in the high quality pictures Junmyeon’s phone could make and the fact your high quality boyfriend was hugging you with seemingly no intention to let you go again. No that you wanted that. If you had it your way, Junmyeon would never stop hugging you ever. 

“Good, because I’m starving,” he chuckled, “What do you think about a dinner-picnic?” You loved the idea. But you hated the fact that it made Junmyeon let go of you after all. A little sulky about the prompt end of your hug, you quickly sent the pictures you’ve selected from Junmyeon’s phone to your own before joining him in setting up the picnic while the light was fading more and more. 

When the two of you finally sat down on the picnic blanket, munching happily on the dishes both of you had prepared, you caught a glint in Junmyeon’s eyes that told you he had planned for exactly this. A picnic under the starlit sky - the sole idea had “Junmyeon” written all over it, really, and you wondered how you didn’t realize before.

“Hey, what are you laughing about?” Junmyeon must have noticed the little giggles you let out as you began to see through his little plan.

“Nothing, just… I was just thinking about how a picnic under the stars just has to be the most you-thing ever.”

You suspected that comment made him blush, you couldn’t really see in the growing dark, but the way he didn’t answer you for a little moment spoke for itself. 

“Is it… umm… do you like the idea?”

You couldn’t tell if he was stammering out of embarrassment or because he was actually insecure if you’d be into something romantic like that. Whatever it was, it had to be fixed with a kiss, you decided and quickly huddled up against him.

“I love it, Junmyeon,” you said quietly, “I love you.” And gently, you cupped his face, pulling him closer for your lips to meet. You could feel how he was smiling against your kiss, how he shortly pulled back to tell you he loved you too, how he caught your lips again. The romance of it all made you feel like floating, swimming in emotion, wrapped in nothing but comfort and love. 

Soon enough the dark of the night had engulfed you fully, the dishes put aside so you could lie down and get comfortable. Your head was resting on Junmeon’s shoulder while his arm was wrapped around you, his fingertips grazing along your arm in slow movements. 

“Can you recognize any constellations?” Junmyeon almost whispered into the quiet night and you nodded in reply. 

“The basic one’s. Here’s Cassiopeia… and there’s the Big Dipper… and that’s Orion.”

You lifted your arm and pointed towards the sky, moving your finger along with your explanations.

“Right next to Orion is Taurus, look!” Junmyeon added and pointed upwards as well. “And I’m pretty sure that’s Leo right there, but no guarantees,” he laughed. 

“I wouldn’t know, I’m always getting lost in all the stars up there, I’m already happy I can spot three constellations in this mess,” you chuckled along, taking the night sky in once again.

In comfortable silence, you looked at the twinkling lights a little longer. It was mesmerizing and beautiful and overwhelming. You couldn’t remember when you saw the sky like this for the last time, without light pollution or clouds blocking the view, and you wanted to remember this for a very, very long time. How the sky seemed to be expanding only, how bright the starlight shone upon your face, how good it felt to feel Junmyeon just breathing next to you, sharing the warmth of your bodies in the cool night air. 

It was unfair how quickly you felt your eyelids growing heavier and heavier, how often you caught yourself already halfway headed into a dream. Junmyeon sighed and like a stubborn child you clung to his side. You didn’t want him to get up, you didn’t want this to be over already. But then he mumbled your name, his voice a bit hoarse from not using it for a while, and one by one you started to pay attention to your aching limbs, to how cold it had become and with a little whine you loosened your grip on him, allowing him to sit up as you did the same. 

“Maybe we should get in the tent,” he spoke the words that were hanging between the two of you. You agreed with a simple humm, clearly hating the necessary change of location.

“Don’t pout, we can do this again tomorrow, you know?” Junmyeon said softly, stroking your cheek before giving a little peck to your pouty bottom lip. 

“I guess we can,” you sighed, a little more dramatic than you actually felt, making Junmyeon laugh brightly. Man, he really outshone all these stars up there when he was happy like that, you thought to yourself. 

This thought gave you a last burst of energy, which you and Junmyeon used to quickly clean up your picnic space and get changed into warm pajamas before you let yourself sink into the pillow paradise you had built earlier that day. Or yesterday. You had lost track of time completely and thoroughly enjoyed the feeling, knowing that it didn’t matter at all. Not for the next couple of days. Not with Junmyeon laying down next to you, looking so very kissable as he was about to turn off the last flashlight. 

“Good night kiss?” you asked, the tiredness from before coming back at you all at once.

Without hesitation, Junmyeon leaned down to you and moved his lips lazily against yours for the last time before your mind drifted off into much needed slumber.

The quiet sound of rain softly falling against the glass of the window was the first thing you noticed when you woke up. It has always given you a very special feeling, one you weren't sure you could name, but that let you know that in moments like this planet earth revolved around the sun a little slower than usual, that the concept of time was irrelevant for a little while.

Lazily, you opened your eyes, eyelids fluttering in attempts to get used to the dull light, taking in the room in the dimmed brightness of the morning sun. Taking him in, who breathed out air in little huffs next to you, still fast asleep, barely covered with his blanket anymore. Or by the knitted cardigan he had fallen asleep in. He must have moved around in his sleep a lot to be entangled in the sheets like this, vivid dreams dancing beneath his eyelids. Maybe he would tell you about them once he was awake.

But now, his features looked relaxed, strands of messy hair fell into his face, lips slightly parted looking so soft and warm that wanting to kiss him was an inevitable urge you had to push down for a little longer not to wake him already. So, you just laid next to him, making out every of his details for the thousandth time. The moles on his nose and jaw, the slight dryness of his lips, how his eye lids twitched a little, caught between the realms of dreams and wakefulness – you couldn’t take your gaze off of him no matter how often you had seen this scene already.

Automatically, you froze for a second when he shuffled around in the sheets, re-arranging his sleeping position to something more comfortable, flat on his belly, his arm resting beneath his head. A heavy breath left his slightly pouting lips before he stilled again, his back softly rising and falling as oxygen entered his body, a movement so light and small and still, it was mesmerizing.

In the end, you could not tell how many minutes had passed while you were simply watching him in his sleep. It could had been days and you would never have noticed. The only thing you knew, was how desperately lost you were in the way he breathed the same air as you did, in how you took up space so close to each other, how easy it was to just pause the world when it came to share moments with him, how gently his golden skin contrasted the snow white of the blankets and sheets as he was more or less huddled in them.

The deep longing to touch him, to let your fingers glide over his warm and smooth skin, swept over you again, slowly taking over your thoughts until you gently reached out for him. First the short hair near his neck, fine hair against your fingertips, moving down the warm, delicate skin of his neck, down to pet the softness of his wide shoulders, drawing circles upon each of his shoulder blades and arms, bumping over the faint definition of his muscles, subtly hidden in his relaxation, making your mind wander to the uncountable times these arms hugged you tight, wrapping you in warm safety and love, in the feeling that with him you would never be alone.

Sloppy lines marked the way your hand moved down his spine, gently brushing the skin of his back, letting his warmth enter your body through your cold fingers, mapping out all the spots that gave in to the lightest touch and the sturdy lines of his ribcage, following them along to caress his sides-

You felt his muscles tensing beneath your touch, his body slowly shifting around; a clear sign he would wake up any minute. With a content smile on your lips, your fingers wandered up again, stroking the long wisps of hair out of his face, letting the digits of your hand rest in the soft mess on his head, watching as he slowly opened his eyes, heavy and swollen with sleep, silently blinking at you with a still tired look but a peaceful warmth within the darkness of his irises. It took him a moment to clear his mind from sleepiness before he smiled back at you, unmatched brightness shining from the happy features spreading over his face.