#stan's rambles

I ended up watching the episode twice before deciding to make this and there were certain things that I noticed that really stuck out as interesting to me.

Virgil obviously represents anxiety, a force that can be both constructive and destructive as has been discussed in the series before. “Accepting Anxiety” really gave us a lot of insight on the relationship between Virgil and Roman and I think it’s important to bring it up in relation to this one. Up until that point in the series, Roman was fairly antagonistic towards Virgil. There would be some moments where he’d mean it in more of a tolerable way and he would be able to see some of the things that Virgil could bring to the table but by no means was he necessarily on very good terms with Virgil.

When Virgil ducked out, Roman’s original intentions in going were for Thomas’ sake and he didn’t even really want to in the first place. He thinks that they would be better off if Thomas wasn’t afraid of anything and it would be easier for Roman to go after what he wants and aspires for. Ultimately though, he sees that Virgil not being there was causing more harm than good and goes along in order to figure out the situation.

Virgil finds himself somewhat convinced to come back and appreciates Thomas approving of him more but still isn’t entirely convinced. Patton and even Logan have seen eye-to-eye with him on issues and have more or less tolerated him being there. It wasn’t much of a stretch for them to say that they needed him around. But then Roman tells him that Virgil’s makes them better.

Roman’s speech accentuates that while he and Virgil aren’t on the best of terms, Roman’s seen firsthand that Virgil is capable of working as a team, as part of a unit in order to achieve their goals as they move forward. Hearing Roman say that they need him and that his contributions matter is what convinces Virgil to come back. Not only does he have Patton, Logan, and now Thomas backing him, but also Roman, the one side who has been the most difficult and confrontational with him.

With this discussion of letting Virgil have more of a voice, a presence in the discussion, Virgil doesn’t use this in order to go harder on his points but actually eases up. He expresses his concerns where needed and it is received with a noticeable change. The others are receptive and interacting more with his ideas and Thomas hears him out on what he has to say. Virgil having more freedom to voice his concerns relieves him of facing to yell over the noise just to be heard. He knows he will be heard. All he has to do is let them know and they will take it seriously.

In relation to this episode, Virgil’s anxieties actually seemed a little more open and complex. He isn’t shutting down the ideas that Roman is coming up with, he goes along with what Roman wants to do. All Virgil really does is voice concerns in how they go about it.

When Roman brings up that they won’t exactly know if Nico is gay or not unless Thomas talks to him, Virgil is against it. However, as soon as he sees the stickers on Nico’s laptop, he voices that, letting Thomas and Roman know there’s a possible way to approach the issue without worrying him too much. Both of them listen to Virgil and take it.

When there are no clues on the stickers, Roman again suggests that Thomas talks to him. Virgil still doesn’t feel comfortable with that and then notices the pins on Nico’s backpack. Again, he brings it up in relation to the stickers and Roman actually claps, getting excited about them having “more clues.”

Virgil is helping to provide alternative solutions to the dilemmas that are coming up while voicing concerns. He isn’t controlling the conversation, he’s providing input and slight critique in line with Roman’s wishes, helping to work together but also provide a necessary counter.

One of the points that really furthered the fact that Virgil is working in tandem with Roman’s wants rather than trying to shut it down is that he says he’s been apprehensive of talking to Nico without a plan. It was never about avoiding talking to him, it was about doing so before thinking out how Thomas should do so. He knows Roman’s ambitions are strong and sometimes all consuming and so he wants to limit the amount of unknown variables as well as the anxiety as much as possible to prevent the three of them from getting hurt by the outcome. It never was about shooting down the idea, it was about thinking it through, something Roman doesn’t commonly do, though it is a fairly minor fault.

Eventually, Roman and Virgil acknowledge that their efforts aren’t working. Virgil starts to panic as Nico catches up to Thomas and it gets worse as Nico walks away. Roman comments on how they’ve squandered another opportunity and another chance of happiness. Virgil, within a split second, decides that he can’t passively allow this to happen and takes action, pushing Thomas forward despite his worst fears. Despite his own discomfort, he is unwilling to ignore that Roman’s wants are valid and should be listened to and he takes drastic action in order to give Roman a much needed chance.

Virgil and Roman’s relationship as well as the way Virgil reacts to his own fears has changed drastically over the course of the series and Virgil has made a lot of growth. While Virgil and Roman had an unfortunate start, they’ve managed to reconcile and are now more capable of working together effectively. Roman is still idealistic in his pursuits but Virgil provides a necessary caution. Vice versa, Virgil’s fears are balanced out by the hope that Roman holds for any situation. The line in which Roman says that they don’t know if Nico is not gay is honestly a really crucial idea that I support. It can go either one of two ways in the broadest of senses but assuming the worst should also be balanced out by assuming the best. Considering both options is important and both Roman and Virgil provide a necessary balance to each other’s opinions and actions.