#sssrha

It was a good thing, Wei Wuxian reflected, that Lan Wangji had confessed his feelings quite so desperately in those brief moments they’d been alone in the cave, or else he would be really upset with him right now.

Well, he was a little upset.

But it was difficult to be too upset when Lan Wangji had looked at him with that gaze, said those words, pressed his mouth to his –

“Oooh, wait, are you supposed to stay in seclusion here, too?” Wei Wuxian asked interestedly. “That’s the precedent, right? We get married and both go into seclusion, and then churn out a few kids – I could definitely give trying to make kids a solid effort, if you know what I mean –”

Lan Wangji’s ears turned red when he was embarrassed. “Wei Ying!”

“Oh no, it’s too late now,” Wei Wuxian said gleefully. “You rescued my Wen sect, you married me, you told me you like me; you’re stuck with me now! And in our very own fuck shack!”

“Wei Ying!”

Wei Wuxian didn’t know what he would do if he’d recovered from the paralysis Wen Qing had put him in to find them all dead – he would have reacted terribly – instead of the whole cultivation world ablaze with the news of Lan Wangji having stolen them right out of the Jin sect’s hands. If that hadn’t happened, he wouldn’t have stopped to wait for news, confused by the sudden twist; he wouldn’t have encountered Lan Wangji, rushing to find him, wouldn’t have read the message he’d passed along from Jiang Yanli, wouldn’t have heard him confess…

Wouldn’t have married him.

Lan Wangji was looking at him like he was the sun, moon and stars again, just at the mention of their marriage, and the only way handle the emotions churned up by that was clearly to start chanting, “Fuck shack! Fuck shack! Fuck shack!” on repeat until Lan Wangji covered his face with his sleeves in despair.

Yes, Wei Wuxian had heard the story about Lan Wangji’s mother, how this had been her place to live after her own crime – how she must have conceived her two sons here.

Yes, he was aware that calling it a fuck shack was in terrible taste.

No, he didn’t care as long as it got him out of having to confront feelings.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” he said after a little while, laughing. “But seriously. What’s your sect’s plan here? Do they think that locking away my spiritual energy –” 

Nonexistent spiritual energy, coincidentally. 

“ – will allow them to keep me here forever? That’s not how demonic cultivation works.”

After all, there was plenty of resentment here to work with.

Wei Wuxian carefully didn’t think about how much of that resentment must have been from Lan Wangji’s mother.

“Unnecessary,” Lan Wangji said.

“So there is a plan,” Wei Wuxian said with satisfaction. “Well, not your sect’s, but you, yourself, have a plan. What is it?”

“Once matters calm, my brother will propose a debate with the other sects on the subject of my actions and yours, with the goal of agreeing that our punishment be left wholly in the hands of the Lan sect, the Tiger Seal sealed away or destroyed and both the Wen sect and you to be carefully monitored,” Lan Wangji said. “During that time, my uncle will come let us out.”

“Teacher Lan? Really?”

Lan Wangji didn’t repeat things, so he didn’t say anything, but he looked pleased – a little surprised himself, but happy to have had his suspicions proven right.

With both Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen on their side, it would be very difficult for the Lan sect elders to carry through their original plan. Lan Xichen would very carefully not agree to exactly what type of “monitoring” would be appropriate, allowing them to make their own assumptions, and if after everything had been settled the Sect Leader agreed that Lan Wangji could be the one to “monitor” Wei Wuxian, well, that was too bad for them. 

An argument that would only be strengthened by the two of them being far away already, because to argue too much would be to lose face in front of the rest of the cultivation world - the only thing the Lan sect elders liked even less than his demonic cultivation.

“Huh,” Wei Wuxian said. “I didn’t think he liked me that much.”

“He does not,” Lan Wangji said. “If events were otherwise, he would have tried to keep me from you. But since things have come this far, he would prefer for me to be happy.”

“What happens after we leave?” Wei Wuxian asked.

Lan Wangji shrugged.

Wei Wuxian supposed that they could be rogue cultivators, staying at the outskirts of the other sects’ territories until the furor died down; with the Tiger Seal gone and Wei Wuxian technically under the supervision of a member of the Lan sect, they wouldn’t have much basis to argue. Travelling together – probably letting Wen Ning tag along – maybe with a donkey – 

“We could have a farm,” Wei Wuxian said, brightening. “Just the two of us!”

Lan Wangji smiled.

Wei Wuxian’s heart skipped a beat.

“Yeah,” he said, a little weakly. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

And maybe they wouldn’t need to fight the whole cultivation world off with his demonic cultivation to do it…although if that were necessary, he was willing and able.

Still, everyone had been very happy about it when it had finally happened: congratulations all around, gifts of all sorts, toasts in his honor, elders indulgently looking the other way about the noise and clutter generated. And of course everyone had started talking about the important things – the type of furniture that might need to be added to the jingshi, suggestions for names, the initiation of a list of future volunteer babysitters.

It had all been very enjoyable.

Lan Wangji’s quiet announcement, a week later, that he was also pregnant was – more of a surprise.

Still a matter of joy, of course. A little bit more confusion (were they just lucky, or were there even more night-and-day entanglements than had previously been suspected?), and of course many of the conversations that needed to be had had already been had, though of course everyone was more than willing to retread the recent overturned ground.

It wasn’t until Jiang Cheng had showed up and started yelling that everyone had realized what the master of the Lotus Pier had apparently figured out at once –

They were both pregnant.

Both, at once, meaning that instead of there being one person in need of pampering and the other capable of responding accordingly, there were two in need of pampering, and each one determined to strain themselves in order to satisfy the other while also worrying about the other’s exertions.

Someone was going to have to take care of them.

No, more correctly – everyone was going to have to take care of them.

“You’re not leaving,” Lan Xichen, freshly emerged from seclusion to deal with the looming fiasco, informed Jiang Cheng. “This is at least fifty percent your responsibility.”

“It is not,” Jiang Cheng insisted. “I kicked him out of my sect fair and square, that means I’m free and clear!”

He didn’t leave, though.

He and Lan Xichen took turns directing the disciples – Jiang Cheng had summoned a bunch of his over from the Lotus Pier in a hurry, and of course the Cloud Recesses were full of Lan sect disciples – to make the jingshi comfortable for the nesting couple. Sentries were stationed at both the jingshi and Caiyi Town in the event of late-night cravings, the kitchens were on notice, and all sorts of errands could immediately be taken out of either Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji’s hands. There were even a group of disciples specifically there to intercept any requests for aid so that they could assure the couple, who were always where the chaos was, that any incident had already been resolved.

(Jiang Cheng still somehow got personally stuck with the responsibility for foot rubs, which he complained about constantly.)

“It only lasts a few more months,” Lan Xichen told him encouragingly.