#ssm17d29

“We have a room with one double bed available,” the clerk shot out like it was a challenge, her concerns over providing quality customer service cast aside (one of the perks of working for the only inn in the vicinity, Sasuke figured. She could be as rude as she wanted and still get clientele).

He turned to look at his travelling companion who just shrugged without meeting his gaze.

By the way, just to make things clear, when I said that Sasuke liked his travelling companion, I meant that in the friendliest and most platonic of ways. He wasn’t pursuing her romantically or anything.

…Right?

Honestly, despite what he had told himself time and time again, Sasuke sure as hell didn’t know anymore.

He just asked Sakura to join him on his travels because he missed her, though he didn’t really know why. Maybe it was because she reminded him of happier times and was one of the few people in the world who cared for him unconditionally (and there was something undeniably heart-warming about that).

But then as their travelling stretched on for days and weeks and months, Sasuke remembered some of the other things he missed about Sakura: her intelligence, her ability to communicate clearly, her nurturing inclinations, her grand and inspiring ambitions, her emerald green eyes that could always tell exactly what he needed, her petite yet muscular physique that was both a weapon and a pleasant distraction, the way she touched his arms to remind him he would never be alone again, the way her smile made his heart stutter…

Okay, so maybe he loved her.

But he was determined not to admit it to himself (or, God forbid, to her) because he wasn’t good with emotions or words which was why poor Sakura was feeling confused and uncharacteristically reserved.

She knew she loved Sasuke – had always known– and was comfortable admitting it to herself, and even to him if the opportune moment arose. But with Sasuke being so silent and protective of his own feelings, she was trapped on the dreaded receiving end of his mixed signals. Thus, she kept her own feelings bottled up, lest she ruin this delicate yet comfortable companionship that had bloomed between them.

So, no, this wasn’t a planned sexual excursion by any stretch, but rather, an unintentional one that neither of them thought the other one wanted (but actually did).

The nerves hit the both of them at around the same time – when they dropped their bags and Sasuke went to take the first shower.

Generally, Sasuke had two pressing concerns: 1) he didn’t want to do something wrong. He was acutely aware of his ex-criminal status and the endless number of things Sakura suffered through because of it. As much as he felt secure in their relationship, or whatever exactly it was, he was secretly terrified of overstepping some invisible boundary and straining it. His ties to his home village were fragile, and she represented one of the few strings that hadn’t worn thin. And 2) he wasn’t entirely sure where Sakura’s head was at. Sure, she was treating him as fondly as ever, but she was also an exceptionally kind and smiley person, so he wasn’t sure if that was just her usual demeanor these days.

Plus, she hadn’t confessed her feelings to him since their journey began.

Well, not that it would have made sense for her to, but unfortunately for Sakura, unless she made her feelings explicit and clear, Sasuke was simply incapable of figuring them out.

And, perhaps above all, removing his clothes for his shower didn’t help Sasuke’s thoughts from running astray down even more confusing paths.

Does she want to…?

He did if she did, he realized and his face burned (a sensation he wasn’t terribly familiar with). But he also knew that it was only right that they held off on pursuing something physical until they sorted out what was going on between them emotionally. And Sasuke was utterly dreadful at talking about emotions.  

What a mess.

Meanwhile, Sakura’s concerns were a little more complicated.

Well, they stemmed from one overarching concern, namely, rejection, but there were plenty of sub-concerns, including: did Sasuke see her as just a friend? Did he even see her as a woman? Would he treat this like a mission (on which romantic advances were frowned upon)? Was he going to leave again? Was she attractive enough?

Sakura dug through her pack for a clean outfit to wear to bed and managed to find a red tank top and grey plaid shorts. Not exactly the most appealing outfit but at least it didn’t smell like dirt and campfire smoke (like she suspected she currently did).

Sasuke finished his shower sooner than Sakura thought he would. By the time she heard the water turn off she hadn’t even located her shampoo from her bag yet.

Moments later, when Sasuke emerged from the bathroom, Sakura took one apprehensive glance in his direction and promptly dropped her recently-located shampoo right back into her bag. Her stomach dropped too.

Her travelling partner was wearing a white t-shirt that clung to his wonderfully-sculpted chest and torso in all the right places, and dark pants hiked up his calves. All the while, his black, towel-dried hair was resuming a bit of its natural spike, and stray water droplets clung to the flawless skin of his…

Get a grip, get a grip, get a grip…

Sakura snatched up her shampoo along with her clothes and toiletries and bolted for the bathroom without a word to her traveling partner.

The door slammed shut behind her and Sasuke stared at it in utter disbelief that he already screwed something up, somehow.

He sighed and stalked over to the bed. Sakura was clearly uncomfortable with the arrangement. But if it was going to be such a big problem, why didn’t she say something sooner?

Maybe she felt too pressured to speak up, Sasuke realized with a pang of discomfort. No, he didn’t want that. Sasuke genuinely cared about Sakura and wanted her to feel safe, especially when she was around him.

He resolved to give no further indication that he was trying to force her into anything.

Sasuke claimed the side of the bed closer to the window and tucked himself into the (extremely comfortable, feather-light) white duvet cover and faced the star-sprinkled night sky through the parted curtains. He just needed to sleep, forget this unfortunate arrangement ever happened, and then they would resume their normal, mutually friendly and content routine again when they set out in the morning.

But Sasuke was just as wide awake by the time he heard Sakura turn off the hair dryer. Damn it.

Sakura, however, had a problem of a different nature to deal with.

She didn’t bring a bra with her into the bathroom. In fact, she didn’t have a single clean bra left to wear that wasn’t grimy and they weren’t visiting a laundromat until tomorrow.

Okay, so to be honest, Sakura’s real problem wasn’t her lack of bra. It was the chilly air. Or the thinness of her tank top. Or some combination of the three.

Well, whichever it was, Sasuke didn’t need a shred of imagination to learn precisely how his female, ex-teammate had grown up since they were kids.

Face flaming, Sakura ruffled the fabric of her shirt to no avail, gave up, creaked open the bathroom door, and sprinted to the bed as fast as her feet could carry her.

She landed on the mattress with such force that Sasuke’s body sprang into the air.

He spun around, alarmed (and a little annoyed that his plan of pretending to be asleep and ignoring his teammate for the rest of the night was spoiled), but found Sakura to be curled up with the duvet pulled up to her chin and facing away from him. “Good night!” she squeaked, her heart thudding against her chest like a rabbit’s in the face of a predator.

Sasuke’s own heart was beating profoundly quickly. “Night,” he mumbled, while fighting an uncharacteristic urge to stammer, and rolling back onto his side to face the window.

For the next hour, Sasuke and Sakura proceeded to lie awake and stare at opposite walls all while pretending to be asleep, limiting bodily movements, and becoming increasingly aware of the other person’s body heat.

It was strange how everything changed now that they were in a proper bed. Heck, they’d shared body heat countless times on cold nights in the woods, but out there it was a survival tactic.

In here, it was for leisure.

After what felt like an eternity of ruminating, Sasuke dozed off first, and like a chain-reaction, his steady breathing lulled Sakura into sleep.

But not for long.

After perhaps an hour of perusing through the first three stages of the sleep cycle, Sakura’s mind entered the worst of what the REM stage had to offer: twisted and blood-churning nightmares of the fourth shinobi war.

She woke with a start, just when Kaguya’s long, skeletal fingers wrapped around her nightmare self’s throat, and shot up into a sitting position, completely disorientated. Sakura blinked around through the darkness, trying to gauge her surroundings and willing her heartrate to resume normal patterns…

That was when something stirred beside her and Sakura, who clearly forgot about the bed-sharing arrangement in her moment of panic, yelped with surprise.

Sasuke bolted upright and flicked on the bedside light in one fluid motion.

His travelling partner and bedmate froze, like a deer in the headlights, and blinked at him until the puzzle pieces came together.

Not detecting any obvious threats, Sasuke asked, “What?” and his voice came out harsher than he intended it to (but if there was trouble, he wanted to cut to the chase).

“I-I,” Sakura stammered, her cheeks tinting red as she turned away from him. Embarrassment swam through her chest. “I had a nightmare,” she finally got out and beginning the mental countdown for Sasuke to toss one of his infamous unimpressed remarks (such as you’re annoying or tch).

But, to her surprise, he provided no such responses. “About what?” he asked and watching her out of the corner of his eye. And despite how much he hated the fear written in her features, he couldn’t help but notice her enticingly raw beauty in the dim lighting. Her pale, shoulder-length hair was gently mused from sleep, her wide, emerald eyes flitting shyly in his direction, her fair skin practically glowing, a strap of her red tank-top slipping from her shoulder…

Focus.

Sakura chuckled nervously and wiped sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. “The war. Kaguya. That kind of stuff.” She prayed to the Gods she was coming off as cool and collected because it sure as hell wasn’t how she was feeling, especially because she was certain that Sasuke was afraid of next to nothing.

But unbeknownst to Sakura, Sasuke himself had more nightmares than dreams. However, that didn’t mean he knew how to comfort another person from them.

“Okay,” he said, and easing back onto his pillow, except this time he lay on his back and he didn’t turn off the light.

Sakura bit her lip, taking Sasuke’s motion as dismissal. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled and staring determinedly at the white duvet cover.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. “Fear isn’t a weakness,” he said, almost automatically. That was something his late brother would say to him. “It’s a survival instinct that can be channeled into strength.”

Sakura whirled around and met his gaze, her eyes wide with surprise.

Did I say something… wrong? he wondered and trying again.

“We kicked Kaguya’s ass, anyways,” he continued and closing his eyes. “And if a threat like her came back and put you in danger, I’d take care of them.” Sasuke nodded definitively and waited for Sakura to respond, or perhaps to ease back into bed, but she didn’t do either of those things.

After creaking an eye open, Sasuke found that his teammate hadn’t moved a muscle and that she was, in fact, gaping at him in awe.

Sasuke stared back, scanning every inch of her face intently because he still couldn’t tell if what he said upset her somehow.

But then there were tears collecting in Sakura’s tear ducts and a radiant smile blossoming on her lips. And Sasuke’s heart began thrumming like a galloping horse.

“Thank you,” Sakura said, her breath catching in her throat.

Sasuke opened his mouth and closed it again, experiencing the uncharacteristic sensation of wanting to say something but being at a loss for words.

Meanwhile, Sakura’s heart was fluttering and she couldn’t look away.

Sasuke’s inviting and (dare she say) gentle response to her disclosing her deep-seeded fears was certainly not the kind of response she was expecting.

It was also properly dawning on her that she was indeed sharing a bed with one of the most breathtakingly handsome men who she had ever laid eyes on and who she just so happened to have been in love with for all of her life.

And he was staring at her with a heavy and interested stare.

And Sakura was right that Sasuke was interested in her, but he felt there was a problem.

Sakura was beautiful. Sakura was pure. Sakura’s entire being radiated goodness.

And Sasuke, the ex-international criminal, sure as hell didn’t deserve to have someone like her by his side.

His mind proceeded to become trapped in a dark, downward spiral as it occurred to him that he himself had probably been one of the sources of his travelling companion’s nightmares.

I intended to hurt her at one terrible point in my life…

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, his voice dripping with self-loathing, while sitting up against the headboard and directing his gaze at the duvet, “for what I did in the war.”

Sakura took one look at her bedmate’s troubled expression and her heart ached. And then she did one of the bravest things she’d ever done, save stabbing Madara on the war front.

She reached forward, cupped Sasuke’s face with her hand and forced him to look at her. Sasuke’s eyes widened a fraction.

“Hey,” she said, trying out a comforting yet commanding tone. “We’ve been over this. I forgave you.”

Sasuke’s mouth dried, his heart pounding like he was nearing a battlefield to face off against another god. He wasn’t used to being subjected in this way but for some reason, he didn’t have it in him to resist. “You didn’t have to,” he blabbed out, and why he was so persistent to get her to admit the last thing he wanted her to admit was beyond him.

But instead Sakura shook her head and smiled again, and the smile met her eyes, glistening in the dim light of the bedside lamp. “I don’t hate you. My feelings for you never changed.”

Her determined stare was piercing, and dizzying – so much so that Sasuke didn’t process exactly when he reached up to lace his fingers through hers. And neither of them consciously realized that they were moving closer to each other or that an entrancing electric current passed between them at that very moment.

Their eyes were wide and locked on each other.

Does this mean that she still…? After all this time?

Sasuke closed his mouth and ran his tongue over his dry lips as his eyes flickered to her mouth.

And from there, it was hard to say who actually made the first move, but from some combination of Sakura shifting her bodyweight forward (ever so slightly) and Sasuke straightening up against the bedframe (while giving her hand a light tug), their lips found each other.

The motion startled the both of them and Sakura even inhaled sharply through her nose. Their lips touched with a surprising softness, a deliberate carefulness, and it was just enough to send exhilarated chills through their chests and bellies. Sasuke sighed against the comforting pressure and wondered why he hadn’t tried doing this sooner.

And before either of them knew quite what was going on, Sasuke was pulling her on top of him and Sakura was willingly following through with the movement, and then she was on his lap and their arms were around each other and they were kissing with impatient fervor.

Sasuke sat as high as he could against the bedframe and bent his knees so that Sakura slid even closer to him, her body inadvertently rubbing along his and filling him with an eagerness like he had never felt before.

His hand roamed from her arms to the back of her neck to her hair, while Sakura’s hands found the sides of Sasuke’s face as she indulged in their frantic, abrupt throw of passion. Sakura was even the one (being the ever-brave soul she was) who took the first tentative suck on her bedmate’s lower lip and slid her tongue over it, past it, and into his mouth.

And when Sasuke’s raspy groan met her ears, Sakura swore it was the most beautiful, intoxicating thing she’d ever heard.

It encouraged her, and soon they were using their tongues to explore and massage each others’ and the insides of each others’ mouths. The sensation was warm and arousing and Sakura couldn’t help but feel surprised by how sure Sasuke was with every motion as his hands roamed a little lower, wandering from her shoulders to her collarbone…

I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe this is…

Sakura froze.

Sasuke pulled back in an instant, alarmed by her sudden pause. “What?” he asked.

Their eyes met and Sakura noticed the confusion and panic written in his features. She just stared at him, her mind going blank as she watched his eyes flit across her face, concerned, and his chest rise and fall with each breath.

“N-nevermind,” she said and leaning in again, but just milliseconds after their lips grazed, Sasuke took a firm grip of his former teammate’s shoulders and forced her upright.

“What’s wrong? he asked and this time his voice came out husky and strained.  

Sakura’s face darkened and she averted her gaze. Meanwhile, Sasuke was filled with dread. He could feel his own face flush, his heart drumming.

This must be too much for her. It was too fast, too soon. She must still be afraid of him and he jumped to the wrong, hopeful conclusion…

But when she said her feelings haven’t changed… that means she still loves me… right?

Then what’s the problem?

“Did you know this would happen when you brought me along?” Sakura asked in a very small voice.

The gears began turning slowly in Sasuke’s head. His bedmate being utterly breathtaking right now, with her ruffled hair, rosy skin and full, kissable lips, was not helping the matter.

“I didn’t know what would happen when I brought you,” he replied honestly.

“O-okay,” Sakura said, a miniscule quirk of a smile gracing her lips. She still wasn’t meeting his gaze. “I was just afraid that maybe… maybe this was the real reason…”

“The real reason?” Sasuke prompted and raising a questioning eyebrow at the girl in his lap.

“That… maybe the real reason is just this. Just physical,” she tried while daringly glancing up and motioning between the two of them with her finger.

Maybe the… oh.

Something in his mind clicked. “No,” he said firmly, his heartrate quelling slightly. “This isn’t just physical.”

Sakura’s heartrate, on the other hand, proceeded to skyrocket. What is it then? a part of her wondered but another part of her wanted this conversation to end. Because depending on where Sasuke’s train of thought was going, this conversation just might be ruining the manifestation of her lifelong fantasies.  

She bowed her head slightly and only noticed the hot tears collected in her tear ducts when one spilled out at the motion. How embarrassing…

But Sakura was pulled from her musings when Sasuke moved in to plant a soft, tentative kiss on her mouth, forcing her to tilt her head back up and face him. Her eyes widened.

Sasuke dipped his head and rested it on her shoulder while his arm snaked around her back. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing but his unease over Sakura’s visible unsettlement coaxed the words out of him. “Our feelings are connected,” he muttered, his breath tickling the side of Sakura’s neck.

Sakura startled. Does he mean…?

“You mean that… we feel the same way about each other,” she clarified, her stomach practically flipping.

“Yeah,” he whispered and kissing the tender pit of her neck. It sent pleasing tingles swimming through Sakura’s chest and legs.

But does he really know how I feel?

“How do you know that?” she breathed.

But instead of answering, Sasuke sat up, without removing his arm from its secure position around her, pressed his forehead against hers, and asked a question.

“Can I show you?”