we slept together via FaceTime, and I always begged you to put yourself on mute, because I couldn't stand your snoring, and sometimes I'd hang up on you just so that I can get a sense of silence and peace? And now: I always beg you to not mute yourself, so that your snores indicate that I'm not sleeping alone, that you are virtually next to me, and that every snort and heavy breathing is just a translated lullaby to comfort me and let me know that "yes, you are here and yes, this is real." The sappy "I love you's" and the repetitive statements of it over and over again plus the slight smile you give me while your weary eyes try to defeat your attention has become a blanket of comfort and serenity to me, that I forget the stresses of the day and feel peace at night... And though I want to squish your chubby body to deathly pieces, this fat pillow of mine will accommodate for the affections I intend to return when I get the chance. Now I can really call this night, a goodnight.