Apr 3, 2019
It's a squirrel
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It's a squirrel
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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So my phone decided to try and blow me up (donβt fuck with lithium ion batteries that have failed people) and when I finally am able to get back online with my new phone I find the dash has changed! What is this update? When did this happen?? Why is it even worse?!
Oh gods. The phone calls I need to make as a functioning adult member of society....they're accumulating, growing and evolving into their own beast. They're hunting me through the weekend and shadowing my every step because they know come Monday they can catch me and devour me whole with their social anxiety inducing maws.
I would say send help but it's far too late for me, don't do what I did, don't let them gather into a collective. Once they outnumber you you're doomed.
God I love it when my dash is funnier than I could ever hope to be
Me most of the time: I'm a strong independent gremlin creature who doesn't need anyone to look after me!
Me after two straight weeks of course work after being out of education for 15 years: I need someone to wrap me in a blanket, put on my shows and bring me choccy milk π₯Ί please and thank you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
A Lady at my mom's care home has realized the quickest and most immediate way to get any form of attention from staff is to set off the fire alarms. This means you'll be sat in a visit and suddenly hear;
"Brenda! No!" Followed by the unholy shrilling of the fire alarm as every door to every room slams shut simultaneously. Which is, let's be frank, quite an alarming situation to find yourself in.
This has apparently happened multiple times within as many days, I fear it's going to get to the point where they're replacing alarms as fast as she's busting them, which as frustrating as the situation must be for staff it does tickle me a little that this lady has decided this is the best way to get attention when she wants it.
I do feel the need to point out that this lady is not being ignored or neglected in any sense, she just demands attention 24/7 which this home is not set up for. It is not a 1 on 1 care home. So please, no one gets your knickers in a twist over this.
Sitting sewing by candlelight thinking about how my seamstress ancestors had to do this all the damn time. No wonder so many women lost their eyesight.
BREAKING NEWS: I'm no more motivated to wash my dishes now than I was yesterday. Local person shocked and appealed at this unpredictable turn of events.
More at 10.