#squiddissues

———— sorry I can’t add a read more I’m on mobile, it’s not long though ————

l had a dream last night that I killed someone. It was someone I know, one of my best friends' ex. It's really freaking me the fuck out, and idk what to do about it. I think what worries me the most is that I spent most of the dream not feeling guilty, but trying to get away with it. Which just makes me feel guilty irl.

I don't want to freak any of my friends out with this but I feel like a terrible person, and I've been trying to be more open, but how the fuck am I supposed to talk about that? What if I keep dreaming like this? Even though we literally never talk I feel obligated to apologize to the person I dream murdered. How the hell do I start that conversation? "Hey, I'm aware I haven't contacted you individually for months, but I had a dream where I killed you brutally, sorry about that."

And it's not that I watch too many movies or whatever. I've been watching scary movies for forever and not once have I had a violent dream. What the fuck could be so wrong with me? I don't fucking get it. Violent-ish intrusive thoughts are one thing, and they're almost always directed at myself. When they're not I'm immediately horrified, and when I woke up this morning I was still somewhat disturbed, but I couldn't remember it all. The dream has come back to me more throughout the day and I feel. Bad. Gross.