#spymade

“I know that my mother wouldn’t send me somewhere she deemed unsafe, but I’m nervous about this whole affair. I’ve never been about without her before. I’m glad you’re coming with me, at least.”

Charlie draws the curtain slightly so she can sneak a peek out of the carriage. Everyone is bustling around and getting ready, but no one has told her when exactly they’re going to leave. Charlie and Floyd are sitting together in a small, drab carriage closer to the end of the procession. Her maid is disguised as the princess so in case anything happens, Charlie is more likely to be safe. 

SHE GIVES A STARTLED SQUEAK,     sharply  jumping  in  her  step  to  the  side   -   usually  staying  aware  of  her  surroundings  as  natural  as  a  second  nature.    hypervigilance.    it’s  a  constant,    unending  state  of  being  that  exhausts  her  with  the  unpleasant  contrast  to  any  carelessness  she  once  possessed.    the  new  normal,    frankly,   horrifies  her  on  a  daily  basis.     when  her  coffee  hits  the  ground  the  brown  packaging  seems  to  erupt,   a  volcano  of  steaming  brown  liquid  that  splashes  at  any  nearby  ankles.    usually,   she  barely  needs  to  enter  a  room  to  know  where  everyone  is  at  all  times   --   but  it’s  the  quiet  ones  maeve  can’t  fully  account  for.

               SHIELD HAD TOLD her that they were done doing tests on her. FINALLY. She could tell by the staccatoed way they delivered that news that they hadn’t found the answers they wanted from her blood, her brain, her bones... but they had found all of the information that they would find. They wanted to know how someone could travel, unprotected, through time and come out ALIVE at the other side. They seemed to forget the fact that she had, in fact, stopped breathing, her heart stopped beating, and they brought her BACK. She kept telling them that they were the answer they were looking for, but they kept insisting that there had to be something else, something more. 

A nurse had admitted that there were theories that there was something in the Barnes blood, but since she and her brother were the only two Barneses left in the world and what the nurse had called massive trauma had happened to both of their bodies, the doctors and scientists couldn’t figure out anything else. They hated that fact, but they had given her back to the loving hands of SHIELD to do with what they would. 

They decided the best course of action was to call her an ASSET and hand her over to an endless carousel of HANDLERS. Some refused to speak with her; others only gave her brief one-or-two-word answers to bide her time. She’d put together that some of the handlers were active agents while others were currently taking a break from the field, though she couldn’t suss out why sometimes, the spy organization found it necessary to put her with a gun, and while others it was alright for her to be with someone who may not have been as quick as they once were. She didn’t understand the world around her — not like she used to — and couldn’t put her finger to the pulse of what was happening like she used to. She didn’t know when she was in DANGER and when she was simply being BABYSAT, and it drove her mad. 

Mad enough to decide to pack up the handful of things she considered her own and walk out of the apartment SHIELD had set up for her. 

Grand Central Station was still in the same spot it had been. She paid for a ticket using the money she’d taken from the apartment, and found a seat on the next train leaving the city. She had been looking out the window at the bustling crowds, trying to paint over them with visions of a time now long gone, when someone stopped at her row. She looked up to a young man.