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silent, not distant
our love is a language you can't find in a textbook or classroom. it's written in the scars between my heart and lungs, the lines on my thigh and side that I opened so I could breathe again. it's spoken in noodle moonlight, pet rocks, unicorns and turtles. we read it by the light of the phoenix's fire, write it with the ashes that are left and remember the dust we will become. our love is full of silence and gibberish, but we know nothing of distance.
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what makes this work is the effort it takes to remember that we get to be friends. why remove that when we move from just friends to goddess and genderqueer boy? I don’t have to censor all I would confess to you as my confidante, or leech the love out of words I would otherwise let my soul sing to yours. the work isn’t in performing a role, it’s in reminding ourselves why we spoke our love out loud in the first place. we don’t love to show it off to the whole world. we love to live life with each other.
the truest self i am with youÂ
is my best worst versionÂ
of the love i have to give,Â
the pain i can’t deny, the dreamsÂ
that inspire and terrify me.Â
who i am when im with youÂ
is more than i could have imaginedÂ
in its range of gentleness and power,Â
what i could do and what i choose.Â
you did not make me this way,Â
but you allow me the space to be
more than i ever gave myself permissionÂ
to show. i have always known who
and what i am, but i had never seen
that person come alive like this. Â
she knits her fingers with mine and says "let's melt together to make one of those abstract paintings--then we won't really be able to be pulled apart." oh, and my heart burst with joy. she said let's be an always together, and I don't have words to say how honored I am, but let me at least try: let's be a candle, our wax melting together in a swirl of storming passion. let's be bread and butter, stars and suns, the crisscrossing lines in the palm of the galaxy... oh the wonder, the beauty, of all we get to be!
she called him her beloved, and said "thanks for walking with me." he blushed on the other side of the screen, but the words were sent on an impulse of meaning. he wanted to be her always, if she would have him. "may the journey bring us closer to each other," he said. "whether we walk, run, stumble, sink or swim."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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sometimes I feel like we're kinda already married, just waiting to come home to each other waiting for the universe to arrange space and time, for God to finish decorating our lives so that when they combine into the same frame we are perfectly settled in together
I’m right here
with youÂ
and this is where
i want to be
they say we're young but they don't know we've traveled through time and space to meet each other on the edges of our galaxies. they don't know how our cosmic real estate is a prime location for raising dreams, hopes, and courage. to them it's a mystery how we could be so giddy and totally level headed at the same time. maybe it's a secret, or its just the truth of who we are and the roads we're on. our journeys have become tangled, intertwined, but we don't mind. we don't know how it will go, but we hold hands and slow dance while fixing weekend breakfasts, rant and ramble about music movies and comics, trade writing ideas and childhood stories, share fears that have lingered longer than we realized, but we know this: we're here to do life together, and whatever happens, it will be beautiful.
