#spouse 101

New Post has been published on http://militaryspouse.com/spouse-101/first-things-first-first-things-first-for-new-spouses/

7 Military Life Tips for New MilSpouses

Welcome to military life, milspouse!

If you are brand new and basking in the glow of newlywed life, or just looking for a refresher, we’re here to provide you the essential first steps of military spouse life. It may feel overwhelming at first, but don’t worry-you’ll soon be a pro. So, let’s get started, shall we? First things first:

1. Enroll in DEERS

Your spouse will need to help register you in the Defense Eligibility Reporting System, commonly referred to as DEERS. You must be enrolled in DEERS in order to be eligible for the military health insurance, TriCare.

To register family members in DEERS, sponsors must complete an Application for Uniformed Services Identification Card and DEERS Enrollment (DD Form 1172), and provide documentation, such as a social security card and/or a marriage or birth certificate.

2. Updating Personal Information in DEERS

Family members can update personal information such as addresses and phone numbers once they are registered in DEERS. If the sponsor is not available, family members can update DEERS with a valid Power of Attorney. You may verify or update DEERS in one of the following ways:

1) Visit a local ID card office to add/remove family members. Call first to verify business hours or to set up an appointment. Or, set up an appointment online.

For next steps, visit here!

3. For the Future! When to Update DEERS

You should update your record whenever you experience any of the following (this list is not all-inclusive)

-Change in sponsor’s status -Marriage or Divorce -New Birth -Moving to a new location for any reason -Becoming eligible for Medicare. -Death of sponsor or family member.

If you are enrolled in a TRICARE Prime option or if you’ve purchased TRICARE Reserve Select, TRICARE Retired Reserve or TRICARE Young Adult, remember to also change your address with your regional contractor.”

4. Obtain a Military ID

Military Installations require a military ID to enter the gates, shop at the commissary and exchange, retrieve insurance benefits and access a wide-variety of services.

Spouses, as well as children over the age of 10, will need THEIR OWN ID cards.

First, locate your installation ID office and schedule an appointment, either in person, online or over the phone. Requirements vary on what paperwork you might need to receive your ID card, but you should have your marriage license, birth certificate, photo identification, and Department of Defense Form 1172 (application form) to apply for an ID card.

5. Register Your Car

Next up, you’ll want to have your service member take you to get your car registered on base/post. Some will require you to have a sticker placed on your car so that you can enter, while others do not.

Now is also the time to inquire about the installation’s entrance policy. Some questions to have answered:

Will you need to show your military ID while going through the gate?

Will everyone in the car have to show one?

And, if family and/or friends are coming to visit you, will they need a special pass to be allowed on base/post?

6. Power of Attorney

The Power of Attorney is one of the most essential tools for the military spouse. Basically, a power of attorney grants you the power to make decisions for your spouse if he or she is otherwise unavailable or deployed.

A POA can be incredibly specific or relatively general, so you and your spouse should get together and decide what works best for you.

But, you absolutely DO NOT want to get one week into a deployment when the electricity goes out, only to realize that the account is under your spouses name and you are not authorized to make any changes.

Obtaining a POA will not take you very long, and it is an incredibly common procedure. Military Lawyers will help you prepare your Power of Attorney, and they are located on nearly every installation. You and your spouse should make an appointment with your legal office to set up an appointment.

7. Helpful Hints

Driving through those gates the first few times can be scary, but there is no need to worry! There may be signs telling you if IDs are being checked, but as a general rule, having your ID ready is a good idea.

Drive up, stop, roll down your window and be courteous to the guard. On installations where a sticker is required to enter, those stickers may indicate if the car belongs to an officer or enlisted service member or dependent. If the vehicle has an “officer” sticker on the windshield, the person guarding the gate may salute when they wave the car through.

Civilians are not expected to salute back. A nod of the head as a sign of acknowledgement is appropriate, but not required.

On rare occasions, depending on the security situation at your particular installation, they will do random searches of vehicles. Don’t take it personally: Any vehicle that enters a military installation is subject to these searches. Being polite often helps to speed the process along.

New Post has been published on http://militaryspouse.com/spouse-101/5-ways-to-manage-military-spouse-stress/

5 Ways to Manage Military Spouse Stress

By: Dr. Kendra Lowe, Air Force Spouse

Over the past 15 years as a soldier, spouse and researcher I have become increasingly aware of and concerned by, the amount of stress suffered by military spouses.

My concern did not come about hastily, but rather through the accumulated experience of my mother, mother-in-law and sister-in- law. We have all shared the role of being the spouse of an active duty member.

More broadly, as military spouses, we all experience the best and worst military life has to offer.

It was through these shared experiences that I began to study and later research the trials and tribulations expressed by those whose lives are dedicated to their families while married to a spouse serving in the United States Armed Services.

What I found is astonishing.

Drawing upon the ratings of more than 200 military spouses, the data suggests that at any given time, 27% of military spouses report significantly high levels of stress. Furthermore, of this group, 20% have a higher, more clinically significant, level of stress.

The following graph helps visualize the magnitude of my findings.

In short, this research suggests that at any given point in time a substantial portion of military spouses exhibit measurable signs of moderate to clinically significant levels of stress.

“At any given time, 27% of military spouses report significantly high levels of stress.”

In other words, approximately one in four military spouses wake up every day under a heavy layer of stress which builds day-by-day, week-by-week and year-by-year.

Unsuspectingly, many military spouses perceive such stress as normal, unaware of how dangerously close they are to clinically significant levels of emotional, social, or physical distress.

A touching encounter with an exceptional military spouse reflects such concern. After completing several research questionnaires, one military spouse asked if it was okay to talk privately.

Of course, I agreed.

During our hour-long discussion, she admitted that she had always felt an obligation to uphold the strong “image” of a military spouse. When applied to military spouses such labels as Spartan wives, unsung heroes, and pillars of strength, while honorable in intent, may have unforeseen consequences of sizable portion for military spouses.

As noted by this spouse:

“You brace yourself for the big stuff: the year-long deployment, the pending PCS, the fear of death, but it’s the everyday stuff that wears you down. Certainly a resilient military spouse should not be brought to her knees when her five-year-old son sobs when he has to say goodbye to his best friend due to an unexpected move. But it did. It was difficult to admit this to anyone, but not knowing how to deal with the “small” stuff seems to affect me the most.”

As the above self-report suggests, stress isn’t a thing but rather an accumulation of a lot of things.

As a consequence, it can impact your mental wellness, emotional stability and physical health.

The greatest weapon to combat these negative consequences is to recognize the symptoms of stress and equip yourself with ways to cope when they occur.

Here are 5 key ways to fight and manage military spouse stress:

1. Be aware

Reading this article hopefully increases your awareness that spouses are currently functioning at significantly high levels of stress. Share this awareness by talking with other military spouses about stress.

Help validate everyone’s unique struggles.

2. Be accepting

Acknowledge that your role as a military spouse places you under a tremendous amount of stress; do not minimize the challenges your role presents. Recognize that stress comes in MANY different shapes, sizes, and colors, and affects us all differently.

What may not be stressful to you could be another military spouses’ personal hell.

3. Be patient

It is nearly impossible to foresee what the military has in store for your future. Recognize that in order to move ahead you may be forced to take two steps forward and one step back.

4. Be open to help

Seek help from others.

Help can come from many different venues: professional counselors, doctors, support groups, religious affiliation, confidants, Family Support Center, Life Skills Center, your unit, clergy, family, friends (to name just a few).

5. Be proactive

It is critical for military spouses to develop their own unique set of coping skills. Exercise, meditation, career goals, journaling, hobbies, spiritual growth, volunteer work, mindfulness; find what works for you.

Even if you do not believe you are “stressed;” develop these skills for later use. I guarantee you will need them at some point in your military tenure. Life’s transitions can bring with it many surprises as reported by a military spouse I encountered who had recently transitioned from active duty.

“The truth is your family needs you, your spouse needs you, and the military needs you.”

Military spouses’ service to our country is heroic. But that role comes at a great cost. Do not let that price be your family, your self-worth or your general well-being.

At times, we ARE all capable of superhuman performance, but at other times, we all feel frustrated and overwhelmed.

Knowing when and how to ask for help is important.

The roller coaster range of emotions experienced by many military spouses is a natural function of the role we play in supporting those who participate in military service. Without such support, the military as we know it would cease to function.

The truth is your family needs you, your spouse needs you, and the military needs you. Although few recognize what you do, or appreciate the trials and tribulations you face, the truth is none of us are superheroes, but rather one of the thousands of people whose lives are impacted by the daily challenges encountered by members of military families.

Dr. Kendra Lowe served 6 years as an active duty Air Force officer, and now 14.5 years as a military spouse. She has a Bachelor’s of Science in Behavioral Science from the Air Force Academy, Masters of Science in Counseling from the University of Great Falls, Educational Specialist in School Psychology from Valdosta State University, and now a Doctorate in Educational Leadership with a focus in Psychological Studies from Valdosta State University.

New Post has been published on http://militaryspouse.com/spouse-101/from-the-homefront-navigating-the-recent-federal-data-breach/

From the Homefront: Navigating the Recent Federal Data Breach

Article originally published at Allhands.coastguard

Twice a month, Coast Guard All Hands will feature “From the Homefront,” a column for Coast Guard spouses by Coast Guard spouse Shelley Kimball. Shelley has been married to Capt. Joe Kimball, chief of the office of aviation forces at Coast Guard headquarters, for 14 years. She currently serves as an advisor for the Military Family Advisory Network.

Portrait of Shelley Kimball.

Written by Shelley Kimball

Count me in among the millions involved in a recent data breach of federal employees’ personal information — I just received my letter from the Office of Personnel Management alerting me that my identifying information was part the security breach.

Here is what to do if you end up joining me.

First, some background: OPM started sending out letters to the 21.5 million people affected about a little more than a month ago. It is the result of a hack to its data files this past spring, a breach considered one of the worst in U.S. history. The files contained identifying information like social security numbers, dates and places of birth, citizenship information and addresses.

Notifications by mail, not emails, will continue during the next few months.

“Due to the number of people impacted and because the nature of the information stolen has national security implications, it important that we take the time necessary to make sure the notification process is carried out carefully,” said a spokesperson for OPM. “We ask for your patience, as we estimate notifications will continue for approximately 12 weeks.”

The breach was so invasive because it included not just files of federal government employees, but also anyone included in the lists of contacts provided for background checks (like me). So that includes any of us related to, or friends with, someone the federal government checks for security.

The letters sent out by Office of Personnel Management.

As a result of all of this, OPM is providing identity theft protection services for three years for anyone affected, as well as their dependent children who were younger than 18 as of this summer. If you got a letter, you can sign up here, or you can call 1-800-750-3004.

If you have not received a letter, but you are worried you will and you would like to try to be proactive about your information, you can go here.

The services provided includes identity and credit monitoring, as well as identity restoration services and identity theft insurance for expenses up to $1,000,000 incurred in restoring your identity.

“If your identity is compromised, representatives from ID Experts will work with you to take steps to restore your identity,” the spokesperson said. “You have access to this benefit at any time during the coverage period without having to enroll in other services.”

If you decide to sign up for the identity theft protection (I did), here’s how it works. When you log onto the site, it will ask you for a PIN number on your letter. It will be in five boxes across the top of the letter. String all five sets together in order, and that’s your pin. (It’s about 25 numbers in total.) The program will ask you a series of questions to make sure you are who you say you are, which will just take a minute or two. Then it will set up the account and bring you to the identity theft program homepage.

Even if you don’t do it right away, you can access the program during the next three years if your identity is compromised.

Office of Personnel Management logo

Resources:

To enroll in identity theft services: Go to the OPM Cybersecurity Resource Center, or call 1-800-750-3004. You will need a pin code provided in the letter from OPM.

If you are worried your information has been impacted, but you have not yet received a letter: Go to the OPM Cybersecurity Resource Center website, where it will explain some things you can do now while you wait to see if you will get a letter.

To join an e-mail list to stay apprised of information about the breach, sign up at the OPM’s website.

Do you have more questions about the breach and how it may affect you? Leave your questions in the comments below. The views expressed herein are those of the author and are not to be construed as official or reflecting the views of the Commandant or of the U.S. Coast Guard.

New Post has been published on http://militaryspouse.com/spouse-101/10-reasons-im-grateful-to-be-a-military-spouse/

10 Reasons I'm Grateful to be a Military Spouse

pc: Felicity Broderick​

I would be lying if I said I always felt grateful to be a military wife. Sometimes I feel bitter about all of the sacrifices I made, like leaving my family and friends and moving away from the city of my dreams; but then I remember why I decided it would all be worth it – my beautiful husband whose love fills my heart every day.

Having him by my side is undoubtedly what I’m most grateful for, but I also try to remind myself of the multitude of other benefits that come with being a military spouse, especially during the holidays. And while I’m lucky to have him with me this Thanksgiving, I know that won’t always be the case. On future deployments, remembering the good will become even more necessary to make it through those trying times. Here are just 10 of the reasons I’m thankful to be a military spouse. I’d love to know yours!

10. Having an Excuse to Travel:

I had absolutely no plans to ever leave the Northeast. I loved Philadelphia, and I loved New York, and living anywhere else seemed like a waste. Then I married a service member and lost all control over where I called home. Now I’m here in Charleston, South Carolina, and while I don’t think I would want to call the South my forever home, I’m so grateful I have the chance to spend a couple years in a beautiful city with great parks, perfect beaches and amazing restaurants I otherwise probably never would have seen. I’m not sure how many other states I’ll live in, but I know they’ll each have something unique to offer.

9. Seeing My Husband in His Uniform:

I had to mention the uniform. When my husband walks through the door in his Navy Working Uniform, I swoon over how handsome he looks. The first time I saw him after he got through boot camp, I almost fainted. I don’t know what it is about a man in uniform, but it just works.

8. Knowing My Husband is Happy:

My husband tried college and hated it. He felt forced into his major and wasn’t passionate about any of his courses. After, he took a job as a bartender where he felt stuck. Getting into the Navy gave him confidence and a purpose, and it was inspiring to see him excited about his future. No, this isn’t the lifestyle I would have chosen for us, but I want nothing more than for him to be happy, and I don’t think any other career would have made him feel the way he does about being a part of the military.

7. Being Pushed Out of My Comfort Zone

I love my comforts. I love going to the same place every morning for coffee, seeing the same friends every weekend, and knowing I can drive back home whenever I have a bad day. I went to college close to home and kept the same friends since high school. Even moving on from sweaters or dresses from my teen years makes me emotional.

All that changed when my husband joined the military. At first, it was extremely difficult living in a new, very different place. I had no support system, southern food made my stomach hurt, and I seriously missed my Mom. There were days when I considered packing all my bags and heading back home, but I’m glad I didn’t. I needed to let go of some of those comforts in order to grow and see that I could adjust.

6. Testing My Independence:

Learning to adjust goes hand-in-hand with finally testing my independence. Like many people, I hate being alone. I love having someone to spend all of my weekends with and to know that if I have a bad day, I can come home to my husband’s affection. But being a military spouse requires me to have some level of independence. Oftentimes, my husband won’t get home until late at night, and there will be months in the near future where we won’t see each other or even be able to communicate. It’s not ideal to be forced into independence, but I know how beneficial it will be for me to live alone and find new ways, as I slowly am now, to enjoy my “me time” and cope with my feelings on my own.

5. Meeting New People:

It took me a really long time to form any friendships after our move, but after truly trying for the first time in my life to meet people, I ended up finding someone who I hope will be a lifelong friend, getting close with my inspirational coworkers, and having some pretty great conversations with people completely different than my friends back home along the way.

4. Being Exposed to New Perspectives and Opportunities:

And on that note, being a military spouse has opened up my eyes to new perspectives oneverything from serious social issues (e.g. domestic violence) to foods (e.g. chicken and waffles) I never would have tried.

Before moving to South Carolina, I was convinced I wanted to be a women’s magazine editor, but when I first got here, I began volunteering for a rape crisis center (which I now work at) and learned so much from advocates and survivors. I’m not sure I ever would have gotten that experience if it hadn’t been for the military. Relocating helped me explore my options and made me realize how wonderful a change in direction can be.

3. Getting Discounts:

So it’s not the most important part of being a military spouse, but who doesn’t love a 10 percent discount at Banana Republic, a few bucks off frozen yogurt, or a free entrée on Veterans Day? I ask every time. No shame.

2. Being Part of a Community:

It’s nice to know I’m a part of something. Even though I moved off base, I feel a sense of comfort when I go back to pick up my husband or grab groceries. I’m less worried about deployments knowing I have resources, and whenever I have a question, I can ask a fellow spouse on social media. Plus, it always warms my heart when I see how quickly military families are willing to lend a helping hand when someone needs help moving, is struggling financially, or simply needs someone to talk to.

1. Enjoying the Little Things:

As military spouses, we learn quickly to enjoy the little things, and I think that’s a pretty beautiful part of life. I’m giddy when I actually get to have dinner with my husband on a weeknight, and I savor the weekend mornings when I wake up, and he’s next to me sleeping. Of course, I would love a little more time with him, but we’ve quickly learned to enjoy each moment we do get, and that’s something I’ve tried to carry over to all the relationships in my life.

New Post has been published on http://militaryspouse.com/spouse-101/how-to-deal-with-cyber-misconduct/

How to Deal with Cyber Misconduct

In addition to being a licensed independent counselor, proud Army wife and the 2015 Armed Forces Insurance Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers has also experienced the hurt that comes with being a victim cyber bullying.

“My philosophy is if we can understand (the pain), and sometimes embrace that it’s happened … I believe you can bring purpose out of anything that we go through. I think when a person figures out how to bring purpose out of it, that’s where they find hope,” Weather said. Her goal is to help people work through their pain and find that hope.

The Army has recently focused on preventing and dealing with cyber bullying, a rising threat in this digital age. Officially referred to as cyber misconduct, the Army defines the term in ALARACT 122/2015 as “the use of electronic communication to inflict harm.” Examples include but aren’t limited to bullying, harassment, stalking and discrimination. Weathers further defined the term as any attack or aggression that is done online toward someone or about someone, whether the victim knows about it or not.

Weathers believes the Army, and the military at large, is doing an excellent job in defining cyber misconduct, as well as holding service members accountable for their online actions. But bullying can still happen. Weathers was on the receiving end of cyber misconduct this past year, when her photo was shared on a Facebook bullying page believed to have been run by military spouses following her award.

“Now, my image was there,” she said. “Most of the comments that were posted underneath the image, they were ripping apart someone who had commented on the article. But, because it was my image, there was a lot of people who took the liberty to completely rip apart me and who I might be, and how I might have even gotten involved in the nominations, and bashed me without even knowing anything about me.”

Those comments are burned in her memory. She regrets going to look at the page because it’s difficult to get rid of the images. She struggled with wanting to defend herself, but ultimately chose to remain silent. “I knew that if I posted something it would just give them more content to rip apart. So, I let it go, I didn’t report it. Thankfully, I didn’t have any threats, necessarily, but it was pretty brutal.”

Weathers was counseling a group of teenagers for cyber bullying at the time, and they shared some of their strategies for coping with the situation.

– See more at: http://soldiers.dodlive.mil/2015/10/how-to-deal-with-cyber-misconduct/#sthash.bDfz7z0F.dpuf

Read the full article at soldiers.dodlive.com.

New Post has been published on http://militaryspouse.com/spouse-101/10-best-apps-for-military-spouses/

10 Best Apps for Military Spouses

You’re at the circus and you’re juggling a basketball, rubber duck, and three ping pong balls while riding a lopsided rhino. Not too far-fetched, aye?

The circus is your average day, the basketball is your work schedule, the rubber duck is still a rubber duck, and the ping-pong balls represent dirty diapers, shopping lists, and memory keeping responsibilities. The rhino- military life- at it’s finest.

On second thought, let’s drive back to the circus and add a few marbles to the mix. You get the picture. Our lives, in essence, are heaps of beautiful, meaningful, and honorable piles of chaos. Here are a few of the best apps for military spouses that can help us all juggle those balls while simultaneously riding that rhino.

1. Out Of Milk

Have you ever gone the commissary with intentions to grab chili powder and come home with $150 worth of everything but chili powder? Well fret no more! This app not only creates the perfect shopping lest but IT REMEMBERS previous shopping lists. Who wants to face pay day grocery shopping TWICE?

2. Dropbox

I take a million pictures. I also don’t have 2TB of storage available on my iphone. I don’t know about the rest of you but my soul burns a little every time I try to take a photo and instead I am greeted with the “you don’t have even the slightest bit of storage left…” Dropbox let’s me store all my photos in the cloud without taking up room on my device.

3. CamScanner

Oh you need a copy of your orders three minutes ago? Done! CamScanner replaced my home scanner after the first “scan.”

4. WhatsApp

A must have for deployment communication. Send and receive texts as well as phone calls (as long as both the sender and receiver have wifi).

5. My Military Life

Thank National Military Family Association for this one! This app is the ultimate oracle in conjunction with military life. It offers personalized information based on your branch of service, duty station/current location (I’m looking at YOU fellow RESERVE and NATIONAL GUARD SPOUSES), and current situations. If you have a general question about military life it mostly will have an answer.

6. Military Discounters

This app identifies places within your area that offer military discounts on their products and services including entertainment, products, retailers, and restaurants! 

7. FileThis

If you hate having a million apps to check your credit card statements,  phone bill, personal accounts, and track your various other bills look no more! This app will serve as your personal organizer for all of the above and then some all with the luxury of using one password.

8. Kids In Touch

This is a safe texting app for kids. The app allows your children to text an approved list of recipients (think texting your spouses’ email while he/she is deployed.)

9. iHeartRadio

I know, I know-you are a loyal listener of Pandora and Spotify but let me sway you to my side. I’ve tried them all! I love iHeartRadio! Not only do they play host to the “Show Your Stripes Movement,” (a call for employers to hire veterans) but their playlists are simply the best.

10. Find My iPhone

The name speaks for itself and it really is full proof! Did you lose your phone on silent mode? Don’t worry! This app has the option to “play sound,” even when your phone is on silent or vibrate. The app also serves as a GPS tracking device.  

There you have it fellow spouses, a list of the apps that I hope will enable you to breath a little easier. I am well aware there are millions of lists (like this one, from Jo My Gosh!) floating around cyber space so please share your life-saver apps in the comments!

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New Post has been published on http://militaryspouse.com/milspouse/spouse-101/the-mission-vs-you-you-dont-have-to-come-last/

The Mission vs. You - You Don't Have to Come Last

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“I wish that I had known that even though the mission comes first, I don’t always come last,” said a Military Spouse Magazine contributor in the September 2015 article, 17 Things We Wish We Had Known About Military Spouse Life.

This message is so powerful and so true. Since marrying into the military six years ago, I’ve witnessed first-hand an entire culture of people who give of their time, energy, and talents — often to people they don’t even know. In addition, they selflessly help progress their spouses’ careers, take care of their children, volunteer for their communities, schools and FRGs, and help friends and family in need, often at the expense of their own personal well-being.

Motivated to give back to those who always give, I set out to create an event that addresses the specific needs of military spouses. After months of planning with a passionate group of colleagues, I’m excited to announce the first-ever Military Spouse Wellness Summit 2015: Invest in Yourself co-hosted by InDependent and Army Wife Network.

This six day ONLINE event is designed to fit into your busy life — no childcare arrangements or missed work — yay! Plus, it’s FREE to attend thanks to our generous sponsors. The event starts Monday, October 19 and ends Saturday, October 24. All participants will be entered to win a variety of health and wellness prizes including a one-year free membership to follow and a one-week virtual training session from Fit.Active.Toned. Register today!

HOW THE EVENT WORKS

As an event participant, you will receive two expert interviews sent to your inbox each day for five days (October 19-23), plus a sixth bonus day where when announce the grand prize winner of a wellness-themed SpouseBox. The interviews contain 30 minutes of highly-focused information from fitness, nutrition, wellness, and financial experts. You will have all week to listen to the interviews before they expire on Sunday, October 25.

WHY YOU SHOULD ATTEND

During the event we will help you explore alternative methods for preventative health and wellness. We will provide you with numerous resources to help you thrive while balancing military life. We sincerely hope that you will learn, or remember, to build time into your busy schedule to invest in your personal well-being and treat yourself with the same love and care that you are so willing to give others. Register here.

EVENT SNEAK PEAK 

Day 1: Invest in Your Future

Day 2: Invest in Your Physical and Mental Health

Day 3: Invest in Eating Well

Day 4: Invest in Your Relationship

Day 5: Invest in Preventative Wellness 

Michele is the 2015 Fort Riley Spouse of the Year. An Army spouse since 2009, Michele and her husband have been assigned to multiple states and one European tour. Over time, she has developed a love for the great outdoors and is a self-proclaimed adventure enthusiast who is happiest when hiking a mountain trail, downhill skiing, running outdoors, or engaged in freshwater sports. Michele is a communications and marketing professional who specializes in project management. She is the executive director and co-founder of InDependent, whose mission is to inspire military spouses to thrive. When not in the midst of a creative campaign, you can find her walking her Labradoodle pup, traveling with her husband, cooking a healthy meal, or hitting the gym. Follow her campaign on Twitter @InDependent_Org.

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New Post has been published on http://militaryspouse.com/spouse-101/21-ways-to-pay-it-forward-in-the-world/

21 Ways to Pay it Forward in the World

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We’ve gathered 7 inspirational quotes from famous individuals who lived their lives to pay it forward. We shared with you 7 stories of the everyday man proving that there is good in the world as he or she lives to pay it forward in their daily life. We posted 7 photos of situations where the little things in life that you choose to do each day to pay it forward truly make a difference. Enjoy!

7 Quotes

“Making one person smile can change the world—maybe not the whole world, but their world.” –Unknown

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” –Oscar Wilde

“When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.” –Unknown

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream another dream…” – C.S. Lewis

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” –T. Roosevelt

“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.” –Henry Ward Beecher

“Spread love wherever you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” –Mother…

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  7 Stories

Submitted by John from Hazlehurst, GA

“I was in line at the local Harvey’s supermarket and the elderly lady ahead of me had a dozen roses she had added to her shopping items. When the other items were totaled she asked about the price of the flowers. As the cashier waited on the bag boy to return with the price of the flowers she said she hadn’t gotten roses since her husband passed. When she was told the price of the flowers she asked for them to be returned and said “Maybe next time.” I bought the roses and gave them to her.”

  Submitted by Anne from Henderson, Nevada

“I dashed into a convenience store for a soda and chips. When approaching the register a man gestured for me to go first, “Ladies first.” I said “Thanks, how nice.” After a bit, while the cashiers were taking some extra time, he said he was going to have to go first after all, but then he grabbed a lovely pink rose, bought it and gave it to me on his way out to pump his gas.”

  Submitted by John G from Yonkers NY

“I went to visit my son at college in upstate NY. We went to Denny’s for breakfast on Saturday morning. Seated across from us was an elderly couple who looked to be in their 80s. When we were finishing breakfast I asked the waitress if I could pay for the couple’s food. Of course she was surprised, but was very happy to give me the bill. When the couple was leaving the gentleman asked for the check as he was leaving a tip. The waitress told them that their check had been paid for including the tip. It was at this point that the lady turned to waitress and said, “But I don’t even know anyone here.” After seeing her reaction and hearing what she said my son had a big grin on his face. I said it makes you feel good to do little things like that for people and he now understands what pay it forward means. I am sure this will stay with him for a long time.”

Submitted by Michelle from Charlotte NC

“One morning I was going through a fast food restaurant drive-thru to order a cup of coffee. There was quite a long line of cars and as I was waiting my turn to pay I was getting my money ready. A surprise to me, I didn’t have any money with me. Normally I would have just backed my car up and left. I couldn’t do that because there was no way to back up. Pulling my pride together and ready to face embarrassment, I approached the window to pay. The cashier informs me that my order has been paid for by the person ahead of me. Well, words can’t describe how I felt at that moment. Saved from embarrassment by a total stranger, and blessed beyond words. So now, every time I go to a drive-thru, I pay for the person behind me. I want someone to feel what I did that day. Next time, I will check my wallet before I leave the house. Pay it forward!“

  Submitted by Bette Goodwin from PA

“Last week I was in line at Subway when the gentlemen in front of me was waiting to give the clerk an application he had filled out for a job. He was truly a lost soul, but I admired him for at least trying to get a job. He asked the clerk not to throw it away and she promised that she would not. He left the store and just really looked lost. The clerk and I decided to make a sub for him. She made it and when I took it out to him he was surprised and very grateful.”

  Submitted by James and Kimberly from Selah

“We were at Carlon Park located in Selah Washington with several hundred fans and players at a youth softball tournament. We were there supporting our daughter, her team & various other players we know from other teams. We found a little note in a zip lock bag under our windshield wiper that read: Anonymous #randomactofkindness. In the zip lock bag we found an extremely gracious amount of cash. Our family is grateful beyond words. All I can say is that there are wonderful people in the world. We are now looking to pay it forward. Thank you to Anonymous person(s) in Washington!”

  Submitted by GREY WEATHERS from PORTLAND, OR

“It’s happened to everyone – that moment the cashier glances up at you from their screen and they say those 4 terrifying words, “your card was declined.” You feel like crawling into a hole and dying. Not only does it make you feel low as dirt, but it’s super embarrassing as well. It’s embarrassing to you, the other customers, and the cashier. It wasn’t even because I had no money. I had taken the sticker off my new card I received a few days ago, but forgot about activating it. Nonetheless, the people around me didn’t know that. To everyone I was just another person who can’t manage money correctly, except one person who found it in their heart somewhere to pay for my entire breakfast order while I was frantically calling my card company to activate it before the people behind me left (I wanted them to see I was not poor.) When I finally got the card activated and I went back up to pay the cashier told me that someone had covered it. What?! I was in shock! I mean, I never expect someone to be as caring as I would in a situation but for this – I was amazed. Thank you so much whoever you are! You literally made my morning and now I have proof that there are some selfless, good-hearted people in the world. Thank you for allowing me to have faith again in people.”

7 Photos

  Tabanitha McDaniel

  Darinka Maja

  Marines

  Post memes

  Roman Soto

  Yazmeen

  Jimmy Jim Jim

How do YOU pay it forward?

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