Any random auror: Is Boss the big spoon or the little spoon?
Newt, fondly: He’s a fork.
Aurors: ...?
Newt: *remembering how Percival always takes up half the bed in a starfish and snores horrendously until Newt lies down on him*

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Any random auror: Is Boss the big spoon or the little spoon?
Newt, fondly: He’s a fork.
Aurors: ...?
Newt: *remembering how Percival always takes up half the bed in a starfish and snores horrendously until Newt lies down on him*

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I thought this was very good, if a bit long. It is written by somebody with ME who seems to be quite severely affected. Somebody else could probably cope with visitors for longer but the same basic framework could be useful. Or it could be useful for somebody who was in a flare/relapse.