#splling

two weeks ago someone in my class asked “can you please turn the light on, it’s too dark for me to see”

they said “ask the small star look at me please. i have no eyes here.”

yesterday someone told me “the building next door to mine burned down last night”

FOG 🌫️

like i’m fully a too-hot-too-sticky-sweaty-uncomfortable-hot-hot-hot-ice-cream-dripping-summer-day person. but also fogggg. when it comes down and the world gets muffled and the air is just a little too wet and your skin is sticky but it’s not cold exactly and you squint and the trees grow tall and dark and the tops of the city just. go away.

1. i’m sorry i left you behind. i would do it again. i had to leave for my own survival. i had to. i’m sorry. (sirius black)

can we talk about friendship break ups?

like can we talk about how i used to sleep on your floor when it was too late and too cold to walk the quarter block to my own. your room was my home more than my own room was. we got ice cream together. i loved you. we didn’t fit right and i knew it and you knew it and the whole world knew it and still we fought for so long because goddamn it we wanted to be friends.

i watched that tv show with all of you. i can’t stop thinking about it. it’s been a year and it still hurts when i pass you. i have other friends and i love them so much but it still hurts. i will never be your friend again after what you did but by god i want to.

i told you my secrets and my fears. i told you my hopes and my dreams. you told me yours. now we don’t even wave when we pass each other. i felt safe with you. i felt at home. i laid down on the floor then followed you into the park at night. now im scared to talk to others the way i did you.

i watched you hurt others i knew and i forgave you the moment you acted because you were my friend. then you did the only thing i could not forgive. because you knew me. i could not forgive it because you knew me and you did it anyway. you knew me and you knew it was the only thing that could hurt me and you chose this way to do it.

(i forgave you for what you did. i will always forgive you. that’s why we can never be friends again.)

your dorm was the first place on this campus i called home. i haven’t called this place home since.

when people said that they romantically loved someone too much to ever just be friends. they would rather never meet again then to be only friends.

but now

well, that’s such an odd thing to say, isn’t it? i don’t think i understand what you mean. is friendship not the basis of romantic love? is it not what separates romantic love from attraction?