Now that I know I'm officially having spine surgery in about a month from now, I desperately need to get a real mattress and replace the futon mat I'm sleeping on. I am begging the community here to help me afford this mattress before my surgery because I really need a real bed to heal in. I tried finding the best priced mattress online that I could, and now I just need help affording it. Anything would help so so much, but if you can't donate please at least reblog this 🥹 it's so important that this arrives before my surgery so I can rest and heal as well as possible. I'll update this post with every donation I get and when the mattress arrives I'll even post a photo or video of it!!

Please donate if you can, anything at all helps.

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$0/$290

My first little painting with my partially paralyzed self. It was MUCH harder to paint than I thought it would be. I can see how control over my right arm is going to be a problem. Fortunately for me I am comfortable with both hands, and only stopped using my left side after my stroke in 2008. Since then I have adapted to the 5-10% mobility loss in that side and it doesn't bother me anymore, I am just not used to writing as a lefty anymore. I did this second picture left handed to start getting back in the habit of being more of a lefty until and if my right side gets better. Looks like I have a ways to go. Wish me luck friends!

Sooooooooo…..it’s been a long while.

I have no excuses. Life, you know? Stress. Etc.

I had cervical spine surgery. Posterior C2-C4 laminectomy and fusion. 4 weeks ago. I spent 3 weeks wanting to cut my head off and questioning my decisions. And now I’m just over having a cervical collar on.

They shaved half my head. I am not happy.

BUT I was having tingling, numbness, pain, and weakness in both my hands due to a few herniated discs and a calcified ligament compressing my spinal cord. It has greatly improved after surgery. So I guess all this agony was worth it.

Can’t lift my boy for 6 months though..z

I’m alive, I guess. For what it’s worth.

I did miss you guys, if anyone remembers me.

And then realizing that the photos are of me recovering from major surgery...

In my case I have a fucked up back, least I can put it. Some of it, including osteoarthritis. Surgeons refuse to operate on me because of my age. They say they don't want to operate on a young adults spine.

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame them for not wanting to potentially fuck up the rest of my life - but also I think that should be my choice. I'm genetically predisposed to back issues. I don't doubt that when I'm older, I'm likely going to need surgery anyway.

The fact that they want to go ahead with burning my nerves, which can have their own set of complications, but I can't make informed decisions about other available treatment options?