#spidey-pool

of course, when that happens, i head immediately for ao3 and tumblr. at first, i didn’t research anything specific, because i was content with the many fics circling peter and his super family and basically just good feels. but i’m also (admittedly probably unhealthily) a person who thrives off of romance, so i was keeping an eye out for any couple i would be interested in reading about while scrolling through tags. 

then i saw spideypool, and my first thought was, “oh fuck.” because wasn’t that a bit not good? was peter not 15? wasn’t deadpool like, definitely over 20, closer to 30? so i was worried and scared because in my head i was like i can’t be involved in a fandom if a ship like this is one of the biggest ones. 

so i researched and looked into this conflict, because i was praying that maybe this wasn’t quite the case, and stumbled into a very big issue. now i’m a novice when it comes to marvel - i had denied myself of the fandom for years by now, mostly because i knew that such a big fandom meant many fics for me to read and write and it’d take me ages to get out of it, which my current fics didn’t deserve to suffer through. as such, i had no idea what to expect. 

it also meant i wasn’t aware of the fact that peter parker was regarded as two main ages: baby-faced and broke photographer at the daily bugle. the baby-faced age was obviously all about tom holland and the mcu, while the adult peter regarded pretty much all the other spider-man movies and the comics. 

now i became conflicted - because apparently, in the comics, deadpool and spider-man were somewhat friends, if not partners in dubious heroic acts, and even hinted at having a little something something. but this was revolted incredibly by fans of the mcu when tom holland had been casted as spider-man a few years after the deadpool movies where ryan reynolds was cast as our merc with a mouth. this, of course, was a big NO NO. a 15 year old peter with a 20-30 something deadpool? goodbye. 

but then was it okay if it wasn’t? what if it wasn’t holland? was it okay? by this point i was very worried, filled with guilt, and also near tears. in my head i already knew that they admittedly looked cute together, their personalities could be so similar at times, but fuck this was killing me and i lowkey wanted to just stop and forget about it. so i reached out to a friend and asked and she said this: that it was definitely not okay in the mcu, but in the comics, she didn’t think anything was wrong with it. 

so i’m tentatively extending a hand to this weird couple, because i personally think it’s cute, but i also know how many people are upset about it. i don’t ever want to upset my readers over something, and i still feel conflicted about it. i know that as long as holland isn’t used as a creator’s spider-man then it’s okay, but people still put up a fight. it just all feels so tangled and intricate nad i don’t want to do something stupid. 

so my friend, bless her soul, said i should ask you all directly. so please, please, please help me. i don’t know what i should think right now. i think spideypool is cute, and i feel so awful about it that i genuinely lost sleep over it last night, tossing and turning because i felt like i was scum. i want to write for it, i want to read about it, but i can’t if it means i upset people and i upset myself. 

so i need your opinions - is it okay? should i write about this couple? am i okay for liking it so much? 

i, of course, only support this ship under the right circumstances: it will never EVER be depicted between mcu peter and deadpool, because i don’t want to deal with both that external and internal conflict. it’s A Bit Not Good, but when i look at it from the perspective of a peter from the comics who’s 20-30 and tired and very much adult, i settle into a sort of awed adorance and then i feel guilty again. it’s a fucked up cycle and i get anxiety just thinking about it. 

i fucking hate making posts like this, i don’t like touching upon discourse, but this is too important for me to ignore. i’m sorry if you’re upset at seeing this, because i’m upset at writing this. 

please help and let me know what you think, because above all, this is definitely part of you too. what i post, reblog, write, and create all goes back to you, and i don’t ever want to hurt someone over something like this.