#spcn

  WARNING: this is freaking long because these have been bottled up for a week and because

I LOVE EACH and EVERY ONE OF YOU!

Dear Trad,

            I know that it has been a week since we all performed together for SPCN at Royce Hall. I know that almost everybody has said their close out speech or last words to one another. I’ve been meaning to do the same; however, I’ve been dreading doing so because it means admitting to myself that SPCN has ended. I know it’s not goodbye just because SPCN has ended, but I can’t help but feel sad and a little empty that we won’t see each other on a regular basis, hearing Karizza and Ian yell out orders to us (not in a mean but in a loving and caring way), repeating those dance routines (that made us all sore).

When I first joined Trad, I felt a little out of place and a little reluctant of joining our group. I honestly wanted to be a part of rural, moro, or mc because I felt like those suites truly represent the Filipino culture. I remember thinking to myself, why the heck are there streamers in the Filipino culture? Also Karizza kind of scared me and Ian felt a little out of reach….Also, it may not seem like it (I think), but I’m scared of meeting new people or joining new groups. What honestly made it easier was the fact that Jahzeel was a part of trad (since I already met him before Trad). However, even then it was a little scary….Over time, I grew attached to you guys and I felt like Spring Quarter definitely was when Trad became a true family.

As you all know, I teared up (CRIED!) during one of our close-out songs. For some reason during that day, the song just sounded so different, it sounded and felt so meaningful! I guess, I felt sad because I felt like after SPCN, the family I have grown to love would suddenly disperse and never interact with one another again, but also those tears that I shed were tears of joy because I know that we all worked so hard and we are finally close to showing everybody how much work we put into our dances, and how much we love Trad.

On SPCN Day, I thought I would be an extreme nervous wreck, but in reality I was only slightly nervous (maybe I was too tired to be nervous), not because 2,000 people would be watching us perform but because I was afraid that I would mess up and disappoint our lovely, hardworking coords and every one of you guys. But because of the support that each of you guys gave me, all I could feel when I got on stage was happiness that I had the honor of performing with such an awesome group of people.

I already knew that Trad has affected my life, however, it didn’t really hit me how much it has until I was writing my application to be a part of SPCN committee next year…When I was writing my answers to the questions on the application, I discovered how much Trad has helped me grow, how much it has helped me discover myself, and how much it has change my UCLA experience. Also, I didn’t to what extent, until my bestie, Kevin Sin, was telling me what he and my mom were talking about at the end of my performance. He told me that he saw that I have made a family over here at UCLA that makes me not feel the loneliness I felt during Fall Quarter. For them to witness and feel how close I am to Trad truly shows how close Trad is to one another. People can feel our love for one another, and overall I feel like Trad truly puts culture deep into our hearts because this is what it means to be Filipino. Being able to create a close knit community and a loving, caring family out of a random group of people is one unique thing about being Filipino. This is shown through our unity clap and through our close out songs and in the end Trad embodies this.

Thank you Karizza and Ian for giving me a family here at UCLA!