#spacehigh

WARNING: This is when it gets personal. Another fact: most black holes form from the remnants of a large star that dies that dies in a supernova explosion... if this collapsed star is three times the mass of the sun, then when it dies, it becomes a sort of phenomenon known as the black hole where nothing, not gravity not even light can escape from it, where time stands still and it is a forever collapsing object. My love for you is similar in this sense - first off with the fact that it comes from big stars dying ... there was a big event in my life that led me to finding you ... I hit my rock bottom yet again. I had told you the story about recently of me hitting my rock bottom in tenth going into eleventh grade. That was the lowest point in my life, well what I didn’t mention was I hit that same emotional feeling of rock bottom this past august after all the trauma of that it year, I just couldn’t do anything and when I could? I just couldn’t be bothered. I found myself getting help on my own and my family not being happy about it. So now I found you. That was the death of the old me. The death of the me who was always depressed had hated everything and everyone. The girl who was always negative and always was the Debby downer of the party. The wet sponge the anxiety panic attack ridden girl who couldn’t defend herself the girl who was always stepped on. Then the second part - where the death of this star shows that nothing can escape from it... with my love nothing can escape in the parallel that nothing goes unnoticed from my watchful eye. Sure I forget some details some times... but I remember some things that some people would often look over. Like I remember how you hate lettuce. I know how you love Mexican. How you love me enough to go through my crazy shenanigans like getting a pet pinecone. How you actually care about people and are willing to do anything for the family that you have left. How you are so loyal and are willing to fight for the people you love and will give the clothes off your back to the people who are worth it. How you never lose things and how you have been through so many traumatic events it’s lucky that you’re even still here let alone that you’re still here and clean slash sober?! I also recognize things that are big like how having kids scares the shit out of you because you aren’t ready (and I don’t blame you) how you were hesitant to say I love you because of only ever saying it to one other girl in the past. How you love cooking... especially cream of wheat. Lol I love you to death and I will love you beyond that I’m sure. It’s also been since the dawn of time ... since the dawn of the beginning of us.

My Love = Black Hole : a song I’m currently writing is going to be debuted soon. I say “released” in the loosest of senses... I don’t actually post songs anywhere but Instagram and possibly here and my poetry book that will be published eventually on Amazon kindle. The following post will explain why my love is like a black hole.

Been obsessing lately ... even on Easter gotta incorporate

Deadass I will do this someday ... my future is as open as the universe is vast

I’m going to space I’ve dreamt about this moment and I made a promise to myself since I was three that I’d make it... now my dreams have become a reality!

~DPAxMI Radio 🎙️