#spaceboyandrew

i. there’s more not to trust than you thought; your back is bared and a knife slips in between your ribs. what you thought was a friend ends up being your enemy. ii. smiles are harder to come by; people take them for granted. you smile so much your cheeks hurt and no one knows that they haven’t been real in a long time. iii. tired, tired, tired beats in a steady rhythm against your temple. you knew it was going to be hard, but this wasn’t what you expected. you didn’t think it could break you. iv. tears come too easily that you mistaken yourself for becoming soft when it’s just you reaching your breaking point. v. your hand shakes and your lip quivers as you write. words don’t come easily anymore, clumped in your heart with no way out. shouldn’t it be broken, you think, hasn’t this year ruined you already? vi. fear asserts its presence in a matter that’s utterly terrifying. not once have you cried so earnestly, shaking in the midst of panic as your mind races through the many possibilities of survival. it dwindles down the more you think. vii. you met new friends, you lose a few along the way. it hurts a little more each time, seeing them happy without you, until you become numb. all that matters is that they’re happy, right? right? viii. fuck them, you think, fuck them all. tears stream down your cheeks and the taste of salt fills your mouth. you don’t want to cry anymore, so you pull out your pen and write. f u c k them. it’s the first time in a while you’ve felt lighter. ix. negativity starts to lose its appeal as you flit through the weeks. it starts weighing you down, a burden more than anything. you start to want positivity, light, and softness. the transition is hard and unkind at times, but you knew it was worth it. x. you welcome january with open arms, the cold air kissing your cheek in passing. there’s a warmth in your chest that hasn’t disappeared and you hope that it stays.

i have a tumblr crush on lauren (key-called-home) her art is great and she's so sweet. could i have a playlist of songs for the name Richie?