#soyh

The two of you are seated in a small alcove near the kitchens next to a window and it’s honestly perfect. Shawn sits facing the wall while you sit facing the rest of the restaurant. You had been worried about Shawn getting recognized but so far so good. Most of the other customers were middle aged people out for dinner on this Friday night. The server comes to your table and takes your drink orders before giving you a minute to order.

“You like sushi then?” Shawn asks, eyes flicking up from his menu.

“Mmmhmm but I’m a little basic. I’m scared to try the fish so I stick to shrimp and vegetable options.”

Shawn chuckles and bites his lip before setting his menu down. “Let’s have some fun. Let’s just order some random numbers and we have to try whatever comes out.”

“No way!” you laugh and he takes your menu out of your hands. “Shawn!” He grins and waves at the server as she walks out of the kitchens. “Shawn no, oh my god don’t!”

“We’re ready,” he smiles and hands the server your menus. “We’re going to have the number one, two, five and sixteen.” You widen your eyes at him and he glances at the menu in the servers hands and adds, “We’ll have an appetizer of the crab rangoons too.”

You drop your head on the table. “You’re actually the worst!”

Shawn reaches out and pats your hand. “Live a little.”

“I live everyday. I’m living right now.” You sit up and he’s beaming at you, the playfulness in his eyes should be a warning but it’s just captivating. “So, why did you ask me out to dinner?”

“Hmmm,” he grabs the soy sauce bottle off the back of the table and fidgets with it. “Well, I think you’re really cute and genuine. You seem like a nice girl and I feel like we just kind of vibed.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Uh huh. So this isn’t about you pitying me for my disability? You’re sure?”

“It’s not. Sure, that’s what lead us to talking more than the dozens of other people at meet and greets but it has nothing to do with how I feel about how we clicked. I’d like to get to know you.”

“Alright,” you look out the window and smile. “Alright, I believe you.”

“Thank you,” he says with a little laugh and you start to say something else but the server has already come back with the crab rangoons and a few little plates for the sushi to come. You take one and pull it apart before biting into the bottom filled part first. Shawn however bites the crunchy top and eats his way in. It makes you laugh and you have to cover your mouth. “Oh my god, you’re so weird!” you say over your hand.

“My dad always said I was a weird kid.” Shawn grins and bites the next crispy peak of his rangoon. “This is the best way. You get the crunchy goodness and then all the tasty insides in one bite.”

“Who taught you how to eat?” you joke as you pull apart a second one. “Animals?”

“Animals?” he pops the soft filled bottom of the appetizer into his mouth. “I’m not the one tearing it apart with my hands.”

You let out a laugh that makes him laugh in return. He so cute, so fun. Everything you’d hoped for. “Oh look at me, so careful to eat my crab rangoon,” you say as you mock the way he had eaten his. You take a tiny overly delicate bite of each peak and Shawn looks like he’s about to stop breathing he’s laughing so hard.

The rest of the evening is a dream. The sushi he ordered ended up being two shrimp, two vegetable rolls and one fish based one that had salmon on top. They’re super delicious and you are surprised to find you actually like the salmon. At one point Shawn decided that you should both try something new so he closed his eyes and told you to pick any piece and put any of the condiments on it and he’d eat it. You chose a shrimp tempura piece with wasabi and ginger. He ate it, but boy did his face turn red and he begged the server to leave the pitcher of water. When it was your turn he was much kinder and gave you the salmon roll with ginger and some of the spicy mayo looking stuff squeezed on top.

The night ended with Shawn insisting he pay and you saying it was only fair to split the bill. He hears nothing of it and hands the server a card before you can get a word in edgewise. It’s while you’re waiting for the server to return with the receipt that you realize this dinner was coming to an end and you probably were not going to see Shawn again after tonight. You didn’t want to ask for his number. Why would he give it to you? He was famous. He wouldn’t just go giving out his number to any girl. You can’t help the way your mood changes as you remember that reality awaits just outside the front doors of the restaurant.

Shawn must pick up on this because the minute you’re out the door with him, he says, “Give me your phone.”

“What?” you ask, chuckling nervously.

“Phone, gimme,” he holds his hand out expectantly as you pull your phone out of your jacket pocket and lay it in his hand. “I hope you don’t mind,” he says, his tongue between his lips as he taps away at the screen.

“Mind what?” You reach for your phone back and he pulls it away. He raises it up and snaps a picture of himself making a really dorky face. “What are you doing?” you chuckle and he hands you the phone.

“I put my number in there, and I had to add a contact photo, obviously.”

You look up at him and shake your head. “You didn’t have to do that. I didn’t expect to get your number. I know it’s not something you’re probably supposed to give out.”

Shawn tucks your hair back behind your ear. A blush rises on your cheeks and you’re sure the redness on his isn’t from the wasabi anymore. “I still wanna talk to you more. You’re fun.”

You giggle. “You’re fun too.” A horn honks from up the street and you look back to see Mamie’s car parked in the fire lane. “I should go, I’ll text you?” you say as you pull away from Shawn.

“I’m not tryna’...ruin your happiness at all...” he sings, eyes locked with your as he pulls away slowly with a huge grin.

You put the in-ears back in with shaky hands. The rest of the show is a blur and next thing you know Shawn is saying his thank you’s and making his closing speech. The arena clears out pretty fast around you and Alex finds you where you’re waiting in the hall near some girls exchanging photos on their phones. “Follow me,” Alex says and you walk away from the girls and down the hall toward some doors to the backstage areas.

Following Alex, you pass by a cluster of amps and you can see Shawn talking with someone. The other person doesn’t look happy and by the look on Shawn’s face he’s in a heated argument with the man. You catch Shawn’s attention, eyes locking with his for the second time that night. He looks away a split second later and you hurry after Alex who is waving to you to follow him again.

You pull the in ears out and hand them over to Alex. “Shawn wanted to talk to you,” Alex says softly as he places closes a little box with the in-ears in it. “It might be a minute though.” He glances over to where Shawn is still talking.

“He’s busy and it looks like he’s getting yelled at,” you say with a nervous chuckle. “Thanks so much. Thank you for letting me use those. It’s been amazing. Tell Shawn I had a great time. Thank you so much.” You turn and walk out of the backstage and into the now empty hallway. You put your hands into your pockets and pull your phone out to text Mamie that you were finished with the show so she could come pick you up.

Heavy footsteps approach you briskly from behind and you turn to see who was running toward you. It’s Shawn, he’s jogging after you. You stop and he slows to a halt in front of you. “Hey, where’re you going?” he asks, a bit out of breath. He was still sweaty as hell, hair a mess, shirt partially unbuttoned. God he looked like a fucking fever dream.

“I’m going home?” you laugh nervously. “Where else would I go?”

“Dinner. With me?” Shawn smiles and you raise your eyebrows in disbelief.

“You cannot be serious. Shawn, you’re like a superstar. I can’t just go to dinner with you. Besides, didn’t you just get in trouble or something? I saw you and that guy talking.”

Shawn chuckles a bit. “Andrew? Oh he was just being a bitch because I gave you too much attention when I came down during Ruin. I’m ‘not supposed to play favorites’ or whatever.”

“Exactly why you shouldn’t even be talking to me right now.”

Shawn steps closer to you and you can see a fine shadow of stubble along his jaw to his chin. Your breath hitches and you bite the inside of your lip. “Andrew doesn’t run my life. Well, he kind of does, but I think I convinced him you’re alright.”

“You think?” you laugh and Shawn shrugs and chuckles. “I’m not sure about dinner...you’ve got too many rules to follow probably and too much...too much Andrew to deal with.”

Shawn laughs, hand coming up to his stomach as he laughs so loud and genuinely you can’t contain the smile on your face. “Too much Andrew to deal with...” he takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “I want that on a shirt. But for real, I’m just a normal guy. Sure, I have a really cool job and thousands of people know my name and I have a manager but that’s not /who/ I am. I’m just Shawn, a guy asking a girl out to dinner.”

You cross your arms and give him a skeptical look. “Did someone put you up to this? Is this because of my disability?”

“What? No! No, I just want to have dinner with you. We don’t even have to go out, we can order it in. Here, at the arena or at my hotel. I don’t care. I just wanna talk to you more.”  The look on his face tells you he’s serious. He really wasn’t playing a cruel joke, not that you thought he would, but it’s happened to you before with guys when you were in high school. Not that Shawn was anything like them. Shawn was and had been nothing short of an angel since the second you met him.

“Alright, ‘Just Shawn’. I’ll get dinner with you, but...”

“But?” he raises his eyebrows and leans in, hanging on your every word. He was so cute like this. Never in your life did you think you’d see Shawn Mendes post show begging you to go to dinner with him but here you were and there he was.

You smile big, knowing you’ve got him hooked. “But...I get to pick what we have.”

“Deal.”

“Meet me at Chai’s Tea and Sushi downtown?”

Shawn smiles and nods. “I’ll be there. Six?”

“Yeah!” Shawn laughs, finally looking away from you but making a point to talk louder than before. “I miss my bed all the time, I miss my couch too. I got a new one recently and it is just so soft, like a pillow-y dream.” The crowd laughs and you smile because you could hear him when he spoke, loud and pretty clear despite the low chattering hum of the crowd.

Shawn takes a few more questions, speaking loud and clear during each of his answers, before saying that they’re going to start doing the photo portion. You and Mamie let everyone else go ahead of you because you just didn’t feel like dealing with anyone trying to complain about line cutting and all that fuss. The two of you stand at the back of the line, shuffling forward every now and then as fans disappear behind a curtained off area for the photos. It takes a while, and the two of you discuss how Shawn kept looking at you and how you really love his voice, how it’s easy for you to hear because it isn’t too low like some guys you knew.

Finally it’s your turn and you grip the skirt of your dress, nerves getting the best of you. Mamie lays a hand on your back and pushes you slightly. She follows you into the photo area and stands off to the side, waiting for you to finish. The room is quiet, the noise of the other fans subsiding into the halls beyond the room you were in. You walk forward, looking at the camera man and the couple of PA’s standing off to the sides of the end of the photo backdrop.

Shawn leans over to put his water bottle down as you approach. He’s so tall, lord, he was taller in person. Seeing pictures, and knowing his height was one thing but actually being in his presence was another. “Hi,” you say quietly, a little wave in his direction.

“Hey, honey. I saw you in the crowd,” Shawn says as he steps forward and you bite your lip, fidgeting with your dress. “Your hair stood out, it’s such a pretty color, but then I saw you friend was signing for you?”

“Yeah,” you tap your right ear, “I can’t hear out of this ear at all much anymore. And this one,” you tap your left ear, “is alright most of the time. I have a hard time with low noises and voices. But I can hear you just fine, your voice is amazing, I love hearing you talk.” You cover your mouth, realizing you’ve just blurted this out to him. You smile nervously and look away, then back and Shawn just beams at you.

“That’s crazy! I’ve never had anyone tell me they love to hear me talk!” Shawn laughs, his whole face lighting up. “Let’s take a picture?”

Shawn puts his arm around you and you put yours around his back. He pulls you in a little closer so you’re right up against him. The cameraman counts down from three and snaps the picture. You pull aways, flushed and heart racing a mile a minute.

“Does your friend want a picture too?” Shawn asks, pointing to Mamie standing off to the side.

“Huh? Oh, no! That’s okay! I’m fine,” Mamie says, waving Shawn off and laughing. “She’s the one who’s in love with you.”

“Mamie!” you shout and she laughs harder.

Shawn touches your arm gently to get your attention. “Hey, do you have good seats for the show tonight?”

You turn to look at him, your cheeks flushed hotter from his simple touch. “Um, yeah, they’re good. I’ll be able to see.”

“But will you be able to hear me?”

You aren’t sure the answer to that question. You had been to concerts before, but usually the music gets lost in the sound of crowd, and you end up ‘listening’ more to the band. You weren’t sure if it would be different since Shawn’s voice wasn’t as low as some of the other artists you’d seen. Either way, your seats weren’t bad, you didn’t think. “I think I’ll be okay. We’re pretty close to the front.”

Shawn waves one of the PA’s over and it’s an older tall guy with dark hair. “Hey, can we get a backstage pass for her and her friend?” Shawn asks and the guy looks skeptical. Your jaw drops. You didn’t expect special treatment, you paid your ticket fee just like everyone else.

“No, no it’s fine. Thank you for the kindness though, you’re so sweet, Shawn,” you look between him and the PA.

“I want one of my extra pairs of in-ears for you then,” Shawn says and crosses his arms. “You should be able to hear just as well, actually better, than everyone there.”

Mamie makes a little choked noise and she stifles a laugh. She knew you hated when people treated you differently because of your disability or gave you special treatment. But this was Shawn, and how were you going to decline the chance to hear everything live, loud and clear. “You don’t have to. I don’t want you to feel like you need to treat me different just because I’m hard of-”

“I want to. Please, let me make this a great concert for you.” Shawn smiles and raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to argue. You don’t. He had already won. “Now, Alex,” he turns his attention to the older dark haired PA, “Can you meet them at the concert and have my green in-ears set up for her?” Alex nods and heads off to find them.

“Thank you,” you mumble quietly. “You’re so sweet, I can’t believe it.”

Shawn reaches out tentatively and tips your chin up. “I couldn’t stand it if you missed out because people were too loud. Just make sure you give them back, the green ones are my favorite.” Shawn stares at you, eyes locked on yours. “I’ll see you at the show,” He grins and drops his hand from your chin. You’re stunned into silence, not even managing a “see you there”. Mamie comes over quickly and takes your arm, thanking Shawn again for being so sweet and genuine, before she is pulling you out of the room. This was going to be a perfect concert for you.

“Y-yeah...I can probably just do it myself...” you take a seat and your heart is racing. Shawn grabs the back of the chair and drags it, and you, over a bit. “I’ve worn something simil-”

Shawn gently pulls your hair aside, exposing your right ear and you swallow thickly. Was this happening? Was Shawn’s hand in your hair? Was he seriously about to fit you with his in-ears? “This is your bad ear right?” he asks, voice soft. His fingers tuck your hair back gently behind your ear.

“Y-yeah.”

Shawn chuckles and Alex hands him the right in-ear. He sets the cushioned bud in your ear, setting the back over the top so it holds on. He flips your hair to the other side and puts the left in the same way. You reach up and adjust them a bit, pushing the top holders back a little. “Does it fit okay? I have some different pad sizes if you like.”

“No, it’s perfect,” you say as you press the little button on the side on the left in-ear and it starts making a low static-y white noise in your ear. It muffles everything, almost completely blocking out any noise in the room. You turn the wheel on the back side to lower the volume a bit.

Shawn bumps your fingers away and you pull your hand down. “This one here,” his voice is barely audible to you and he pushes the first button, “is the band only. The second one,” he press it and the white noise static changes to low hum, “is the band and my mic.” Shawn looks down at you and you look up. He presses the third button and grabs a microphone off the table behind him and says, “The third is just me.” His voice comes through loud and clear, no static, nothing muffled what so ever. It sounded amazing.

Alex peeks out the door and says that everyone seems to have gone into the arena now. You stand up and Shawn crosses his arms as he looks you over. “Looks good,” he says, giving you a little thumbs up and you blush.

“They’re just in-ears,” you say a little too loudly, followed with a laugh.

Shawn brings up his mic and says, “I know, I didn’t mean just the in-ears.”

Your eyes widen and he just smirks as his cheeks turn a little pink to match yours. Alex touches your arm and motions that it was time for you to go. “Bye, Shawn,” you wave a little as Alex leads you out of the room.

“I’ll see you out there!” Shawn yells and just laugh.