Hello matcha!!! Do you remember me? I hope you're doing well haha, how's life been treating you?
If you remembered me you must remember I ask a lot of questions and here are a few details about Ito which I'm a little confused about, would be grateful if you could clarify these when you get the time :
1. You mentioned in one of my asks that in the first life sensei's thread cutting was more mental that physical and uhh... I didn't understand what you meant? There are a lot of questions I have about the first life in general, but what exactly did sensei DO for her to be punished for so many lives? Did she cut the thread before Gojo died? Did she go back in time? But wait, if she was punished for going back in time, Gojo would be too. But he does that an infinity of times in the story lol, so that doesn't make sense?
2. Why did Benzaiten allow Gojo to keep his memories in the second loop that we get to read in the story? In the first loop he didn't remember anything, but all loops afterwards he did.
3. What exactly was sensei's plan in the end? After re-reading the portion a couple times (and breaking my heart over and over again), I still didn't fully understand if Sensei KNEW the consequences of her final plan or if she didn't and was taking a final risk anyways. From the last chapter with Susanoo and her a lot of things are cleared, but sometimes from the previous parts I wonder if she really didn't know and only figured out AFTER it happened.
4. It is also mentioned that Gojo made a lot of alliances with various Gods and spirits while trying to stay together with Sensei in the other timelines - were there newer gods as well or only the ones we were introduced with in the story? And why did they even help him out if they chose to?
5. In any of the lives, did Sensei even know about the exact terms of the prophecy she made? This is just something I was curious about.
6. Also wanted to make a list of sensei's traumas in this life to ensure that I didn't miss anything (😭) - her parents didn't understand her abilities and got frustrated and thought she was crazy, and then she almost fell in love with Suguru but she said something and gave a prophecy that convinced him to take the path he did. Also her mother being killed by Suguru - why did Suguru even do that in such an evil way? 😭 oh and also the full story associated with Haru. Did this stuff happen in all the lives? Or just the one we were reading about?
Haha lol I can really be an overthinker as you can see.
I also really love the way you write grief in Ito and how sensei processes it specially because from a lot of Gojo's dialogue with her we get glimpses of the fact that even if she doesn't remember WHAT she did, her soul remembers the weight of trying to fix things between him and her over and over again. It's painful, but really accurate to how people just accept some things after fighting vehemently against it and realising - it's of no use.
I'm someone who always found mythology fascinating - are there any stories which are your favourites? For me it's definitely the story of Osiris and Isis in Egyptian mythology, that's probably the most heartbreaking love story I read. Reading about how Isis tried over and over again and never succeeded in reviving Osiris, was painful.
(Kinda like Ito 🫠)
Also if you ever wanted to read some fics about Gojo on ao3 I have a few recs in case you're not sure about which ones to try out -
Legacy of the Stars series by Nonoririn
Cursed Contracts by iloveboobs123
Both of these stories are pretty similar to Ito thematically, and have a lot of references in Japanese mythology and history, weaving in mythological/historical characters into the plot. I'm not sure if you read any of these lol, just thought I'd drop these by in case you wanted to read something hehe.
That's all for now! I saw that you updated Lacking and I'm really excited to see how the story continues.
Bye 😘❤️
hellooooo my dear!! of course I remember you and I'm more than happy to clarify 💕💕💕 let me just get the non-spoiler bits outta the way
I'm someone who always found mythology fascinating - are there any stories which are your favourites? For me it's definitely the story of Osiris and Isis in Egyptian mythology, that's probably the most heartbreaking love story I read. Reading about how Isis tried over and over again and never succeeded in reviving Osiris, was painful.
I am more familiar with Shinto and Greek mythology, actually. Do I have a favourite? this is a bit difficult to answer beause there are so many variations but I like Pandora's box and medusa's stories a lot. Heracles, too. Never read anything about egyptian mythology, actually but I'll definitely check!!! I like drawing inspo from old stories so thank you for this lovely info 💜💜💜💜
re: the recs
thank you so much!! I'm noting that down! I am currently busy thinking about a new fic idea and it's sorta like an incubation period for me because I am unable to move until I write this new idea (it's not Lacking, but a new one) so I'm going to try to read them (the ff recs) if I can but right now the research for this new idea is taking up a lot of time and I'm beyond excited but there is still such a long way to go... it's an idea that came to me upon listening to a song and ito was born in a similar way and I realised now that I think this is what pushes me into my element so I feel like a child who is waiting for a school trip lol but I'm going to try to read your recs, trust!!!!
re: Lacking
thank you for reading that one too!! unlike ito and this new idea that I'm on the way to having (lmao) lacking is more experimental and more like training so that I don't lose my touch with writing. I don't have an elaborate plan for it except for a few plot points so I may be slower with updates
okay so now back to ito questions
You mentioned in one of my asks that in the first life sensei's thread cutting was more mental that physical and uhh... I didn't understand what you meant?
okay, so I had to go back to check what I wrote and I wrote tht in relation to this
And ofc the final moment when she decides to cut the thread.
okay, the final moment is not something external actually… it has a lot to do with sensei’s inner world.
what I meant here is that after satoru's death in the very og timeline, it wasn't a specific outside world event that forced or motivated sensei to cut the thread in takamagahara. she couldn't bear the pain, couldn't move on so it was her inner turmoil that made her interfere with the threads. so what I meant here was that the reason sensi cut that thread was not to prevent a horrible future, or save humanity or anything like that. it was purely because of the pain and how she thought satoru deserved more... selfish or selfless? it's up for you to decide.
but what exactly did sensei DO for her to be punished for so many lives? But wait, if she was punished for going back in time, Gojo would be too. But he does that an infinity of times in the story lol, so that doesn't make sense?
she cut all other threads to save gojo and the only one left in continuity was the one we were reading. this is what she is being punished for. it doesn't matter whether she let the apocalypse happen or she cut the thread to prevent the apocalypse, she'd already committed the crime before. she is not being punished for going back in time, even tho she did go back. satoru is not able to go back on his own, it's with benzaiten's help, like how sensei received her help too. if benzaiten decides not to send him back, he can't. and the reason why he can't go back the very last time where sensei goes without letting him know is because sensei was gifted a memory by someone (she says this in ch83)... a spirit which made no appearances that very last time despite being very central to their story... somebody who was there to witness sensei's cutting those threads that very very first time.... let me know if you'd want more hints or the direct answer... I'm only alluding to this part because maybe other readers who check this answer would want to figure it out themselves.
Why did Benzaiten allow Gojo to keep his memories in the second loop that we get to read in the story? In the first loop he didn't remember anything, but all loops afterwards he did.
Because Benzaiten's a romantic and she was in awe of their story (and because satoru is very handsome lol)
What exactly was sensei's plan in the end? After re-reading the portion a couple times (and breaking my heart over and over again), I still didn't fully understand if Sensei KNEW the consequences of her final plan or if she didn't and was taking a final risk anyways. From the last chapter with Susanoo and her a lot of things are cleared, but sometimes from the previous parts I wonder if she really didn't know and only figured out AFTER it happened.
sensei was given that memory of her cutting the threads in og time when satoru died. in the memory she was given (ch 83) she can see herlsef and amaterasu... so the memory doesnt belong to either of them. there is a witness there, too. so she knows of her culpability and she knows that she is going to be punished no matter what. but now that she knows that satoru returned back again and again and again to find another way despite there not being one, she wants to set him free. she wants him to continue living because he deserves that. she feels guilty for having sentenced them to this. she knows that she needs to be punished and satoru needs to accept this for time to continue in its course... but now we see the flip side of the story... in contrast to the beginning, sensei's accepted the fate they were bound to but now satoru is refusing to let go. he is insisting in getitng his way, he doesnt let time flow, he doesnt accept it. she realizes this once she is given the memory for the main reason for her punishment. so in order to let time flow, she cuts all memories of her and everything related to her belonging to satoru (except for one thread nobody can touch) and her connection is severed with the world as a punishment anyway. nd she will keep being punished through different means in other dimensins until her soul dissipates
It is also mentioned that Gojo made a lot of alliances with various Gods and spirits while trying to stay together with Sensei in the other timelines - were there newer gods as well or only the ones we were introduced with in the story? And why did they even help him out if they chose to?
I'll let you decide if there were new faces or not but in my head, yes there were. why did they help him out? why did the ones we read throughout the story did? not because of benevolence (maybe except for benzaiten because (relatively) good ones always exist -if we ignore the fact that she asked for satoru's memories in the beginning only to loosen her condiitons later upon witnessing their story) but because satoru completed quests for them, helped them or offered them something in exchange.
In any of the lives, did Sensei even know about the exact terms of the prophecy she made? This is just something I was curious about.
nope. sensei has no idea about any of the prophecies she relayed.
Also wanted to make a list of sensei's traumas in this life to ensure that I didn't miss anything (😭) - her parents didn't understand her abilities and got frustrated and thought she was crazy,
yes, the mother was frustrated but also devasted by her daughter's situation. her dad had died some time before she met susanoo.
and then she almost fell in love with Suguru but she said something and gave a prophecy that convinced him to take the path he did.
uh-huh... tho she doesnt know the prophecy.
Also her mother being killed by Suguru - why did Suguru even do that in such an evil way?
because he has an ideal, does he not? don't forget sensei's infatuation with him either.
😭 oh and also the full story associated with Haru. Did this stuff happen in all the lives? Or just the one we were reading about?
there are several options. if suguru never deviated then can we know for sure sensei met haru? maybe she did, maybe she didn't. if they did meet, were they on good terms? did haru hold any significance for sensei or vice versa? I'll leave it up to your imagination! certainly there are different details in all of them. For example even the simplest wrong turn can cause a different chain of events... for example when satoru has his memories the second time in the story we are reading, they never stumble upon kei... which means kei never marries otohime... which means they never experience that dance at the engagement party and that scene inside the room never happens.... so yeah, things we read may never happen.
please let me know if you'd want me to clarify further 💜💜💜💜💜
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I'm really curious about what their first life was like . . .
How was the relationship between Sensei and Gojo in the very first life? Since they are destined to fall for each other in each and every life, how do they meet then? What is Sensei's state of mind when Gojo dies and does her presence alter the canon storyline in any way? Like does the Shibuya arc happen differently, etc.
And ofc the final moment when she decides to cut the thread.
Another thing I'm curious about - since she cits the thread AFTER Gojo dies, what exactly happens to that reality. As far as I understand how threads work, once a person dies their thread gets cut. So you can't really uncut the thread to reverse the death, so how exactly do the threads work in your storyline?
If cutting a thread alters reality thereby preventing Gojo's death, what happens to the version where Gojo does die? Does that reality just . . . disappear?
You mentioned in another ask's answer that they had a LOT more time in the original timeline so if you wanna can you elaborate on that? 🥹
As always, pls take your time to get to these questions! ❤️
I've started with Lacking as well and can't wait to see what you cook up with it!
helloooooooo
it's my pleasure to answer your questions ❤️❤️❤️
How was the relationship between Sensei and Gojo in the very first life?
okay... should I answer this or just write a single chapter thingy thing ahahahahaha but it was much more attraction driven than revelation driven, if that makes sense? you know sensei gets to notice sides of satoru that she was trying to resist due to her anger? she was much more open to his quirks in the very beginning.
Since they are destined to fall for each other in each and every life, how do they meet then?
A little correction, if I may... So the 'soulmate' or whatever framework I work with in the story does not include being destined to fall for each other every time... If they had not met the first time, they would not fall for each other and the other times would not exist either... so the connection only comes into being if they meet, and they happened to meet the very first time... although fatalism is a huge theme in the story, there is also a room for chance too... as to how they meet... they met that day... or at least the version of that day before she intervened.
What is Sensei's state of mind when Gojo dies and does her presence alter the canon storyline in any way?
this is a canon-divergence story so canon can be one of the previous versions if you want it to be! I'd say how the canon relates to the story in my head but I don't wanna restrict the readers' imagination...
sensei's state of mind... not good... I was gonna include it in the story, in fact I included just a little bit of it in one of the chapters... not much though... some sentences... and I have the draft somewhere. I would wanna share but I don't wanna drown people in ito content because im afraid people will be sick of me and ito 😭
And ofc the final moment when she decides to cut the thread.
okay, the final moment is not something external actually... it has a lot to do with sensei's inner world.
As far as I understand how threads work, once a person dies their thread gets cut. So you can't really uncut the thread to reverse the death, so how exactly do the threads work in your storyline?
another correction, if I may. if a person dies, the thread without their existence becomes the one in continuity, the other thread doesn't end, it joins to a bigger thread, if you will, and 'continues' there (he was alive but not anymore but there are memories of him so his traces live, for lack of a better word). think of it like a network of rivers where smaller ones flow into a greater one which flows into the ocean. there are many possibilities but some are more probable than others (talking about threads here) so they have higher chances of becoming canon. that's how things normally work.
if a thread is cut, that means there was an intervention and the second most probable option will come into play. only sensei can intervene. but she can't do it when something has already happened. so sensei cannot go to takamagahara after satoru's death and cut threads and make him alive again. she can't touch the past. that's why she went to benzaiten because she needed to go back to a time when he was alive and keep him alive.
If cutting a thread alters reality thereby preventing Gojo's death, what happens to the version where Gojo does die? Does that reality just . . . disappear?
yep, absolutely demolished. hence, the memories cannot be retrieved at all. the reason why satoru had his memories when he travelled back time and time again was because benzaiten let him keep his memories. he doens't remember anything from his previous turns because he exchanged them for benzaiten's help. but with the turn in which the story begins, benzaiten lets him keep his memories but he doesn't have any from the previous ones either. sensei doesn't have any of the memories from other threads either. they can maybe have glimpses of feelings and scenes, because the soul remembers /wink wink/ but not the conscious awareness.
You mentioned in another ask's answer that they had a LOT more time in the original timeline so if you wanna can you elaborate on that? 🥹
yessssssssssss because young love, you know... she was there every step of the way even when he didn't want her to be. she is stubborn, y'know? and yeah, they had this mutual attraction but satoru was the one who had to come to terms with certain aspects of this shared gravitation toward each other the first time...
I'm sorry to bother you once again and pls take as much time as you need to come back to this question but there are so many little details you placed on Ito that I can't help but ask.
My first question is about when Sensei was first taken away by Amaterasu - in Takamagahara pt 3, I think? Sensei already seemed prepared for what was to come, but how did she know? Of course she has an idea of how immortal beings function because of her pure energy, but she actually seemed really prepared to sacrifice herself - which makes me wonder, when exactly did she figure it out? Did she try to come up with any alternatives?
My second question is about an iteration in the time loop where Gojo decides to let the curtain fall in order to save Sensei, but she is still taken away by Amaterasu. What is her punishment then? Because the first time, it was for interfering with fate by cutting its threads, but she probably didn't do it in this life. So, what happened? Why was she punished that time?
Pardon me for being a bother lol I'm rereading a few parts and these questions propped up in my head ❤️
(If you think these are too spoilery for an ask, you can also answer them in my dms if that makes you comfortable)
hello, welcome back!!! so lovely to see you!! and this is no bothering at all, pls don't be silly ❤️❤️❤️!!!
it makes me so happy that you care enough about the story to re-read it, awwww, thank you so much!!!
Okay so these may be potential spoilers for those who are reading ito and only browsing through this account, so I'm. gonna put this under a read more tag so that they can come back to see the answers if they are still curious after finishing the story!!!
Sensei already seemed prepared for what was to come, but how did she know? When exactly did she figure it out? Did she try to come up with any alternatives?
So, in chapter 54 - Takamagahara pt 2, there are two lines
And you remembered your reason for being here when you met his eyes.
It was so that he could live because he deserved a life... A longer life... One that offered him more freedom and more time to enjoy.
this is where she knew exactly.
and as to how she knew... sensei's memories of the very beginning when Satoru first died are gone with the threads that had been snapped, they can never be recovered. but there was somebody else there who witnessed it and whose memories remain intact...
chapter 82 - A Special Connection, amaterasu says:
I only have my memories, and the memory of that moment when she undid it all is the only one I share with her, for I can because she carries pure energy. She should know what her punishment is for.
and this is how she knew that moment because when she snapped the thread in this timeline, Amaterasu was already there outside waiting for them. when the last thread snapped, Amaterasu shared her memory of the very first time sensei played with the threads and that's when sensei knew that her punishment was set in stone.
did she try to come up with any alternatives?
they could try but this is related to your second question which is
What is her punishment then? Because the first time, it was for interfering with fate by cutting its threads, but she probably didn't do it in this life. So, what happened? Why was she punished that time?
Sensei was not being punished for snapping the threads to get rid of the apocalypse. she was being punished for having snapped the threads when Satoru died. as it takes a part in the story, they can try alternatives but there is no use in trying them because even when she doesn't interfere with the 'curtain' she is bound to be taken for she had done it even before this.
She tried alternatives to save Satoru but all alternatives which had to do with the end (his death) led to one simple scenario. It was either her or Satoru who lived on. So she went back to the time of the very beginning of their meeting and tried one last time to break the thread which led to the very beginning of their meeting and falling in love... and she succeeded for some time but this change brought about (in addition to many things which happened in her life which we were following as we read) the apocalypse so that they would come together...
So re: trying alternatives, they could try alternatives in this lifetime, but it wouldn't matter. because her punishment has nothing to do with her preventing the apocalypse.
more than happy to answer questions!! let me know if you have more ❤️❤️❤️
I really don't know how to start, I just finished the whole of Ito and now I'm here because I really wanted to share my thoughts because this was much heavier than expected. I went into it preparing for some angst and self-sacrificing but the existential despair? Helllooo? Specially the final chapters where he keeps feeling something is missing but *can't*?
Anyways so, even before reading this story I'd always been deeply interested in Shintoism, as a result of which I identified many of the deities mentioned which made the experience all the more enriching for me. I love how you gave each of the kami a distinct voice. My favourite scene was obviously in the chapter where they had to re-enact Kimi No Na Wa because that film broke my heart too but not AS badly as your fic did😭
(I'm curious, was it your inspo in any way)
My absolute favourite part was when Satoru described to Tsukoyomi what love meant, that to be loved was to belong somewhere, and since canon Gojo is extremely lonely as a person it really seems true to his character that to him love would mean a sense of belonging foremost.
The angsty parts specially the Sensei's backstory and how she blamed herself for what happened to Haru and even willingly accepted her punishment - and she loved him so fondly, so fiercely that she was willing to make him forget her just so he no longer remained stuck in a time travelling loop.
About the ending... well. The less said the better. I'm not even crying, there's just this hollow in my chest which will definitely take some time to pass.
And the fact that it's not even a clean ending, it wouldn't have been as painful if he just totally forgot, it's like his soul remembers but his mind doesn't so he always feels like he is missing something 😭
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Anyways.
This inspired me to do a reverse fic lol - something about lost soulmates finding each other lol bc I don't know how else to recover 😭
It's just an idea for now and I'll probably be searching for some mythological tales about lovers from different cultures to see what I can find and if I EVER get around to publishing it I'll mention you as inspo ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
All in all, thanks so much for writing this fic. It must have taken a lot of effort being 300k+ words long, specially since fanfic writers create such passionate projects for free.
I noticed that you published a new arranged marriage fic revently and I'll get around to reading it ASAP, I just need to time to recover from Ito. 🥲
Thanks again and byeeeeeeee
omg hello!!!
thank you so much for reading ito!!! I'm so glad to hear that it left an impression on you!!! from what I gather from your message, I am so happy to hear that you were able to feel a variety of emotions, which was my main goal with the story
awesome, dude. so nice to hear you liked my characterisation of the spirits. kimi no na wa was not the inspo for the fanfic but since it relied on threads as well, I wanted to pay homage to it. it's a great movie and I take it as a compliment when you say ito broke your heart more than kimi no na wa hahahahah
mannnn, it feels like forever ago... that scene... the imagery was so vivid in my head so i'm not 100% content with the chapter itself :( I wish there was a way for me to project my visualisation of their encounter straight to your mind 😭😭😭 but it's one of the chapters I enjoyed very much while writing
DUDE HARU AND SENSEI, I loved writing their scenes!! honestly, haru scenes were so much fun and so emotional for me to write. it's a character I enjoyed very much as the writer of the fic and it makes me so happy to hear that you enjoyed sensei and haru's dynamic, too!
I wanted the ending to be just that. I wanted all of us to confront the fact that some things are out of our control... and moving on is our only option left sometimes, whether we like it or not. it's of course the best case scenario if we can actively take those steps to future but sometimes we are made to take those steps
if you ever write that fic, please let me know!!! I have this rule that I do not read any fanfics while writing one myself so if you happen to write it while I work on something, I'll save it for later and read it once I'm done with my current work!!! (I'm terrified of accidentally plagiarising somebody's work so I try to keep away with the fear that if I like it too much, it'll be engraved in my subconscious and influence my story 😭😭)
take your time getting around to the other fic, dear! thank you for making my day with this detailed message and these sweet sweet words ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for reading ito!!!
Thanks for the detailed reply - it clears so many of my questions.
I hope you're doing well in general as well, how are you overall? I hope I'm not being too personal, but since I jump into your inbox every now and then I thought I should still ask. If I may ask, what field do you work in?
As for your answers, I always thought that in the final iteration, it was Amaterasu who gave sensei the memory of the 'stupid' thing she did for Satoru - but it isn't? I can only think of Susanoo or Benzaiten doing it then heh, though Susanoo seems greatly unlikely because his domain isn't even a part of memories and time and all that, so I'm leaning more towards Benzaiten.
I'd love to know more about your new idea after Lacking! Ofc you don't have to tell me everything, but it would be interesting to know what themes or tropes you're thinking of exploring in that fic. Will it also be mythology and shinto inspired or something completely different?
Thanks for taking the time to read my messages, it means a lot.
hello!! I apologise for the delay! I found a new job and a new will to live AND on top of that a new idea which I have started to explore a little bit!!! I am slowly getting back to AO3 too so I am so happy!!!!
Not at all an issue, dear!! nothing too personal to ask how I'm doing! I'm doing fine, how about yourself? I would rather not disclose personal infor regarding work, nationality etc. but I'm currently working part time as a uni student!!
Yes, it was Benzaiten!! Susanoo was not there when the very first cutting of the thread thing happened with Sensei. I believe Benzaiten mentions how she was a witness in one of the chapters /// that's why we don't see her in the final turn because she was punished for this act (sharing the memory with sensei!)
For Lacking, I really don't have any ideas. I know it won't be as long as ito and it won't have such a humorous tone. it's something that I wanted to write to keep myself writing and I love arranged marriage tropes and I wanted to explore a different type of character. I'm writing the next chapter but I don't have an intricate draft idea laid out like I had with ito! I guess we'll see where things go although I will admit that it is not 100% impromptu either. I have got an idea or two but I don't know how things will play out and I don't wanna planb too much because I wanna challenge myself!
it won't be shinto or myth inspired, nope. I think I'd risk it being too similar to ito and I don't want the MCs to be interchangeable. I want to be able to write characters with their own personalities so I try to change the directions whenever I have a new project. I just enjoy writing and exploring so for me, it is not necessarily about the end result but the process of writing tbh I think it will be more 'grounded' than ito, that's what I can say so far because that's how I feel it will go
no worries at all!! thank you for taking time to write to me! It means a lot to me!! I am just so sorry for being so late
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