#sourpups

The last year has been a year of rebuilding. It's been a year of discovery. It's been a year of questions and a search for answers. I found a lot of those answers in people who are reading this. I'm only going to name a few but if you aren't listed, it doesn't mean I don't care. It would just take a lifetime to list everyone who has affected me and made my life better.

Taylor and I met through my first ever roleplay and she is the best friend I could possibly even think about happening. Anyone who is worth a 40 hour bus ride has to be really fucking rad. I'd say I'd do it again but I think we both know that's bullshit. Suffice it to say, she's my best bro. She's there through every problem and sometimes I have no idea why.

Tori is also someone I met via roleplay and I'm so glad we took the time to get to know each other. When I feel down and broken she always manages to make me laugh or scream or otherwise handle the situation. I fully plan to make that dream of next door houses and baby play dates a reality. 

Wyleigh is a great friend and someone I feel I never have to hide anything from. That's refreshing. Through a lot of mental problems in the months we've known each other, I think we've been shoulders for each other. She is someone I am very glad to have in my life. I only hope that we both fight our demons and find what we want in life.

Then there's Heather. We've had ups and downs but she's known me longer than anyone else on this list. I'm glad we managed to find our friendship again, she's someone who really has her heart in the right place. I am blessed to have spent years in her presence. I hope to be blessed with more

Bekka. We met through a roleplay like most of these other people. I am so glad we did. She always brightens my day and makes me feel better about life. It's important to have friends who are as sincere and helpful as she is and I am glad we found paths into each others lives. I cherish our friendship, even if I haven't been as available lately as I wish I was.

Then there's my Kaitlyn. I left her for last because I'm not even sure what to write here. I'm not sure words will express everything that matters. But I have to try. Kaitlyn was one of my favourite followers long before we talked. She was someone I cared about before I knew who she even was. And somewhere along the way we became friends, but maybe even then it was more. Before I knew it, I was smitten and had fallen for her completely. She became the best muse I've ever known and showed me strength and love more intense than anything on Earth.

Luckily for this idiot, she fell for me too. Since then we've had plenty of amazing times and a few not so amazing ones. But the truth is, amazing or horrible, I want all the times in the future to be spent with her as well. I used to tell people that I knew I was trans because I looked at my future and saw myself as an old man, not an old woman. Well, anymore, I look at my future and still see that man - but I see this girl beside him. With any luck, I'll get that wish. With any luck we'll be celebrating tons of anniversaries in the future.

As I make more steps into the unknown and embrace finding ways to cope with my illnesses, mental and physical, I hope all these people will be there with me. I hope to find a quiet solace and I hope to become a better friend and boyfriend in the process. I just want all of you, listed or not, to know that I adore your presence and appreciate you being in my life.