Jul 21
Soump
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Soump
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I'm at a dinner event but everyone has these comically long spoons, and they keep trying to hold them by the very end and use them to feed the person across from them. It's so fiddly and they're all just dropping and smearing the food everywhere because the balance on the spoons is so terrible and nobody has any coordination. None of these idiots have thought to just hold it close to the top and use it like a normal spoon. But when I tried this everyone started yelling at me, calling me selfish and saying it's allegorical or something, and when I wouldn't stop they all started hitting me with their spoons. None of them even had to get up because the spoons are so long
what's the best soup?!
tomato π
chicken noodle π
clam chowder π
minestrone π₯
french onion π§
broccoli cheddar π₯¦
wonton π₯
lobster bisque π¦
pho π
lentil π«
if u want wrtite in the tags if your best soup is not here there are so many soups lol
we were discussing soup
me: i think i will self-administer soump me: for medicinal purposes h: Prescription soump me: OTC soump actually iny: But maximum-strength! iny: Maximum-strength soump me: it is now maximum-consumed moj: would hyper-consumption of soump entail eating also the bowl & spoon? g: chug directly from barrel/tap g: no bowl. no spoon. only soup iny: From tapβ¦ iny: Soup faucet iny: turn the handle left/right to adjust temperature, up/down to adjust flow intensity, and charm/strange to adjust degree of soup g: ah yes, in is charm (getting closer to) and out is strange (getting further from) me: please explain "degree of soup" h: Is chili becoming less soup-like? me: chili is, i believe, a stew h: I agree, but you can often order it from the soup section of a restaurant menu, so I was proposing it as something you might get by adjusting the degree of soup me: fair me: i guess broth is fully charm-wards, miso soup is a little bit strange of that, and as you get more toward the strange end of the axis you end up with chilis and stews me: we have devised the Standard Model of soup dispensing h: Right in the middle is the archetypal soup, chicken noodle iny: Broth is only almost all the way charmwards! If you turn it all the way charmwards, it's water. iny: Most people don't even know that the soup faucets in their sinks can dispense anything else these days π
There's a quick, yet powerful, knock on Abes door.
Only, when opened, no one is there. Just a container of soup, still hot and ready to be eaten with the accompanied spoon (Which looks like a dinosaur!)
On top of the container is a note.
'So that you don't starve. Hope you like broccoli cheddar!'
Abe can't help but raise an eyebrow at the knock, wondering who it could be. "Yeah, come in."
Except no one does.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, he gets up to open the door, thinking they didn't hear or he's being pranked again. What he isn't expecting to see is a lone container filled with... soup? Picking it up, a slight huff of amusement leaves him at the spoon before he's reading the note.
Normally, he would be weary of anything left unattended outside his door unless it was an official package, but... he had a feeling of who it's from. And he skipped lunch. And he does like broccoli cheddar.
"Hm... nice of 'em." He grumbles before going back into his office.
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Your soup, I want it
Ah, you mean this soup?
I would share if I could but alas, I'm afraid I ate it all last november
Made primordial soup for dinner, and while I was in the middle of eating, it did abiogenesis and the new creature immediately started eating my fuckin soup