#soulgiven

Honesty Meme - Accepting - @oceansfirst & @soulgiven

DID HE HAVE TO?????

He knew the answer to that already, he just.. this could get DICEY. Peter was smart enough to know that whatever he said now, it doesn't matter how UTTERLY SURE she is nowhere to be found.. she will find out about it. Whatever he says here and now would SURELY find it's way back to Natasha Romanov.

See, it wasn't that he had anything MEAN to say about her, it was actually FAR from it. The problem really landed in the fact that she DID NOT like him, and the fact that Peter was dating HER best friend? (Did he mention that said best friend was also her ex? Why is shit always so COMPLICATED?? ) It already made things a LITTLE awkward.

So here he was, PROCRASTINATING the inevitable. What's new?

"She is....one TERRIFYING person, like the amount of SKILL & PRECISION that she can pull off like it's just NOTHING? How can someone not be AMAZED by all of that? And I mean.. I've worked with her before when I am occasionally apart of the the big leagues and I trust her her with my life but...." There it is. The but. THIIIIS is when things could get him in trouble and he KNEW it.

"Okay so.. see HERE'S THE THING.." He is fidgeting already, picking at the stray strands of Lucky's fur that were CLINGING to his spider suit. (How that dog's hair got LITERALLY EVERYWHERE was beyond him.) "We don't... exactly see eye to eye.. on a lot of things? Honestly? I think.. I make her....ANGRY or maybe.. maybe not ME exactly, but maybe my...life situations? I don't know how to explain it... like I'm going off just VIBES here!"

"My point is.. I just.. I don't think we are ever going to be on the same page, or even really be FRIENDS? I mean I thought we were once.. years ago but things change, life is weird..." He really had, but ever since the DIVORCE? not to mention the WEIRD run in he had with her at the SPIDER SOCIETY.. he was pretty sure they weren't that anymore. (If they ever were to begin with, which is a depressing thought he REALLY doesn't want to think about.)

He hate's when he is FORCED to be honest, he liked his white lies.

"But we both love Clint in our own ways.. and I just.. I don't know I like to hope that there is some UNDERSTANDING that we both just want him happy? Or maybe that's a little naive of me I don't know, but sometimes all a guy has is hope ya know?"

“Nat Baby, we should probably stop meeting like this..” He had lost count how many times she had just appeared in his dreams, though it was always a bittersweet pain to see her there waiting for him when his body finally passed out from sheer exhaustion. When he was awake he kept himself busy, trying his best to be a semi-decent father to their boys, they were his primary concern. He liked to claim he was retired from being Hawkeye and a Shield agent, but that wasn’t entirely true, he still helped out with consultations and training.. he couldn’t fully give it up, but he could try to keep himself alive so their kids didn’t have to be orphans.

But when he was asleep.. he was almost always met with her, he wasn’t entirely sure if this was just some weird trauma induced figment of his imagination or if somehow, someway her soul was tethered to his since it had been him who was forced to sacrifice her in order to get the soul stone, but he didn’t spend too much time questioning it.

It was rather difficult to tell what was a dream and what was a vision at first, especially when the last five years had been riddled with nothing but nightmares. Whatever realm he found himself in was rather foggy and yet somehow still annoyingly bright. He found him sitting, and the silhouette of someone in front of him, though the fog was preventing him from seeing who at first. 

With a deep breath, he squinted trying to figure out who it was sitting before him. At first he thought it might be his mother.. but then he spotted a flash of red and as recognition began to set in he knew exactly who was visiting him. “My little warrior.. I was wondering if I might ever see you again.” The urge to reach out and take her into his arms was great, but he found himself hesitating. 

natasha vc: can you NOT, sir

texts from last night

“I wish you luck with that, truly, I do. But you’d hardly be the first person, alien or otherwise, to try and get into my head.”