#sorta uh

Quietly,though, that’s the key.

Gavinhas managed to sprawl himself out in the driver’s seat in a manner that wouldhave looked anything but comfortable for anyone else; one foot is tucked beneathhim and the other is presumably on the gas –he’s been leaning excessively onone side the whole trip, perhaps for the express purpose of keeping his forearmflush against Ryan’s on the armrest, save for the occasional moment when heneeds to flick his hair back.

Ryanfinds this inexplicable since Gavin’s hair does not change at all in the intervalsbetween, but he also finds it attractive, so he makes a mental note to ask Jeremyabout it later instead.

Hegoes back to watching Gavin and appreciating the unbroken hum of wind whippingby.

“Gotsomething on my face?” Alas.

Ryanfrowns but doesn’t tear his gaze away, the impossible brightness of Gavin’sgreen-blue eyes startling him despite having seen them any number of times.

It’sprobably the new highway lights.

“You’reexceedingly pretty, you know that?”

Ittrips out of Ryan’s mouth on a sliver of a whim and he can’t reel it back inbefore Gavin is flashing his teeth in a shit-eating grin. This declaration waspreceded by a sigh, which Ryan likely intended as disappointment, but Gavin equallylikely mistook for l’amour.

“Yeah.Tell me something I don’t know, Ry.” Gavin leans closer, his fingers barely onthe wheel. His eyes narrow coyly. “Is this code for I wanna fuck tonight? Quit pretending to be such an 18thcent prat.”

Ryanchanges his mind from beautiful to horribly attractive. He also throws in narcissistic for good measure.

Hedoesn’t say either of these things, of course.

Gavinpulls a face at Ryan’s silence and lays on the gas harder, bringing them up toa solid 150 mph. Only a single digit is hooked on the wheel now and even then,just barely so.

“Ry-an.I’m expecting a bloody answer.”

Thelast syllable is pulled up to a whine and Ryan registers the infinitesimally vagueedge Gavin’s voice has taken on – it’s a bad habit of his whenever he doesn’tget exactly what he wants.

Childish, Ryanmentally adds to the list, as he nods absentmindedly.

“Isthat a nod nod I know lovely Gavin wantsa goddamn answer, or a nod nod yeahlet’s fucking shag? Jesus, Ryan. Can we communicate here?”

Ryansighs again, but with no irritation backing it.

“Both?”

Grinning,Gavin twists his upper body into Ryan’s lap, forcing Ryan to take the wheel. Gavindoesn’t let up on the gas; they subsequently cross two lanes and nearly smashinto the concrete median.

“Jesus-hey, what the f-“

“You’remy favourite, Ry.”

Ryanlooks down at a disheveled but delighted Gavin in complete exasperation. “Youwant us to crash? Because we’re going to crash if you keep at this.”

“Yeah.”Noncommittal.

“Gavin.”

“Yeah!We haven’t done it in a while.” Gavin’s tone is insistent, purposefully ignoringthe flashing lights blinking into existence behind them. He reaches up andstrokes Ryan’s five o’clock shadow before he lets his hand travel down to theman’s throat, tracing it gently with an index. “Or I’ll strangle you and we’ll dieanyways.”

Ryanswallows, shuddering at the touch. “You’re fucked, you know that?”

Gavingrins impossibly wider. “Yeah. But you still love me.”

Thesiren lights are closer now, steadily gaining on them.

AsRyan watches the colours flash through the sideview mirror, he wonders if fucked up is okay to add to this mentalvocabulary list or if it’s a bit too crass. It’s his list, after all, so hesupposes so. He thinks about handing this list to Gavin later after they fuck,but decides he needs a few more positive traits on it beforehand.

Afterall, a man Ryan would give everything to couldn’t possibly be made up of more badthan good, can he? Although Ryan suspects he could, since Gavin doesn’tparticularly fit anywhere along the continuum, and he would still give himexactly what he wants, every single time.

Over,and over, and over, until the very end.

Asthe LSPD descends on them, Ryan leans down to kiss Gavin.

“Alright,”Ryan finally says. “Let’s crash.”

We all have our vices, hedecides. And I suppose this is mine.