Felt bad today so decided to kinda vent. Ft second because I think they would have gone through the same thing at some point.
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The pc is quiet.
Everyone else is asleep. They themselves were asleep not too long ago.
So why the hell are they struggling so hard to do so now?
Second stares up at the wooden ceiling, sounds of soft snoring surrounding them.
They felt, useless.
And isn't that something?
While all their friends spent the day practicing and improving in their own ways, do you know what they spent their day doing instead?
Nothing.
...okay maybe not completely nothing. They did manage to leave their room today, that's got to be an improvement somehow. Some days they don't even leave their bed, choosing to spend the time wasting away in dream land.
They hung out with the others, chatted with Alan and even sparred for a bit!
So why do they feel like they've accomplished nothing at all?!
They turned to their side, listening to Red mumble something about Reuben.
It felt, irritating. When this happens. They had asked Alan about this before and he said it was normal. Something about art block and stuff.
They don't think that's exactly what's happening here, with all the research they've done. But they don't want to worry Alan too much, so they kept quiet.
They don't like the idea of not being able to draw. Not having the energy to do anything they like. What is Second without drawing, without being creative? Without the only thing that gives them purpose?
(The deal flashes clearly in their mind, the need to keep drawing to protect the others flaring once more before being drowned in a sea of apathy.)
Second turns back to the ceiling, before closing their eyes once more.
Tomorrow will be better.
(They ignore the voice saying that nothing will change.)
(Second is tired.)
