rough analysis on stan's feelings about his parents because i think it's worth exploring
Idle ramble bc it's on my mind . i feel like a lot of people misunderstand stan's relationships with his parents. which is to say , all things considered , out of all filbrick's sons, it's stan who probably likes him the most. Even if he also, simultaneously, holds intense resentment for him the most. it's kind of fascinating in a way, seeing how stan talks about both his parents. To me. I think a lot of people focus solely on how they treated Him, or feel about Him, and miss how Stan talks about and feels about his parents. So here's a little ramble on it, with a bunch of quotes from stan to support it, beneath the cut .
With caryn he kind of never says anything necessarily positive about her, being neutral statements at best, ('Mom was a pathological liar, which served her well as a phone psychic', 'You're acting like Mom after her tenth cup of coffee.') and her being included in mostly filbrick-centered parental scorn at worst, ('I was once a kid and it was the worst. And the only thing worse than kids? Parents!') and overall stan just doesn't really talk about her. Which makes sense, as caryn and filbrick are very neglectful uninvolved parents which adds to stan and ford growing up only having each other . (worth noting this quote by alex hirsch that says, 'He's trying to get from [The Mystery Shack Customers] the affection that he never got from his family, and lost with his brother.' Worth noting that includes Caryn as well as Filbrick, who didn't give stan affection.) Even so. With caryn he seems to hold simple care and general indifference, with a hint of resentment . Either way he's usually very neutral about his mother and doesn't have much to say about her, even if they do share frauding and lying and stealing tendencies .
but with Filbrick . It's very funny to me how he both adores his father and hates him simultaneously. He's desperate for his approval. He holds So much anger towards him. Almost opposite to Caryn, Stan's feelings on Filbrick are Very intense. he'll either justify his father's abuse and pass it on to poor dipper, ('But wouldn't you know it? The old man was doin' me a favor all along!') or he'll talk about how he turned to him for advice on how to get people to like him And actually did as he suggested, blaming the school counselor for the consequences instead of filbrick, ('Dad always taught me that the way to get people to respect you is to punch the biggest person in any room, the first time you enter that room. But if you do that in school then apparently you have “rage problems” quote unquote according to the counselor. Darn hippie.') OR he'll completely scorn him . ('My dad was a cold-hearted ex-bricklayer who’d rather list my faults at Passover rather than throw the ol’ football around.') in addition, filbrick's punishment calling him 'extra stan' and purposefully degrading his entire being was enough to be, mentally, one of stan's lowest moments, according to thisisnotawebsitedotcom . Then I think it's so fascinating that stan uses filbrick as a sort of building-block for the type of man he makes himself into. he spends 10 years after getting kicked out by him trying to do as he asked and bring home millions. he was itching to be able to call him specifically. ('And I'd be calling Dad with the good news, as soon as my paycheck came in.' that quote being from a deleted atots scene of stan horse betting. Behind him is a phone off the receiver.) even if he, more than anyone else, wanted to reconnect with Ford.
even moreso, i think it's fascinating that despite hating it for a long time, up until he dealt with the thief stealing carla's purse, ('And it was even worse than the school yard! Y'know, at the time, I thought my pop was trying to torture me.') he still took on Punching as His Personality Trait. ('I've got the other thing. What is it called? Oh, right, punching!') even though at this point in time he still would've been thinking that filbrick was trying to torture him with boxing . This kind of behaviour isn't surprising given the comments made on him as a kid when he was just being himself and getting bullied (''The kid's a loser. He's weak! He's an utter embarrassment! I just wanna get rid of him.' Heh, yeah. Those are all things people said about me when I was a boy.') aka stan's like Oh my god there's something wrong with me i need to change And then when you consider the kind of advice he gives and believes as a teenager ('whatever you do, don’t be yourself.') etc etc etc. Anyway back to filbrick.
i think a lot about how, when it came to settling down and actually running a business proper, being a responsible adult business man, filbrick was stan's point of reference. he adopts his 'no refunds' policy. he sells a bunch of knickknacks just like pines pawns. he wears his dad's fez. for at least 10 years before the series began stan was wearing his dad's suit. stan adopts filbrick's jokes and misogynistic tendencies and gruffness and so on so on so on. if stan grew up trying to make an identity that is the opposite of ford, complimentary, then he's also basing his personhood very much on his dad. Who he also hates. And had to say 'Ugh, ugh, don't say that!' when Ford said he looked like him, even though it was lighthearted on both of their ends . I mean the guy owns a book just titled 'DADDY ISSUES' for crying out loud. I'm stunned stan of all people, guy who'd be pretty much allergic to seeking mental health resources in any capacity, would have this book .
All this to say . I think regardless of what caryn or filbrick feel about stanley, his feelings towards them are a lot more complex than people give credit for. it's not just I hate my dad and love my mom. He was evil and she was great. He looks up to and hates filbrick at the same time, running off of desperation for his love And spite for how he treated him, while seeing him as someone he doesn't want to resemble but also does at the same time, and is very distant with caryn. Doesn't expect a lot from her even if she treats him better than filbrick does. He doesn't even say a word to her or look at her Once when he's being kicked out, he looks at his father in alarm and looks to ford for help instead. all in all he holds a lot of pain regarding his parents. Just going to point back to, 'I was once a kid and it was the worst. And the only thing worse than kids? Parents!'
