In This Burning House |Ā 5/8
Part 1,Ā Part 2,Ā Part 3, Part 4
Pairing:Ā Jax Teller x OC
Gif Credit: @fuckyeahopie @gifsofanarchy @darthvaders
Tags:Ā @stevie75Ā @rideandruin
Giant Thank You to anyone who reads or engages with this story! You truly are the best! If anyone else would like to be tagged just let me know.
Warning:Ā Angst, This story is gritty af, fair warning - IPV, assault, violence
Most importantly, the take home messageā¦ Love does not involve abuse. If you or someone you love is in that situation support is out there. If you donāt know where to look, my DM is always open.
Note:Ā This chapter was incredibly hard to write. I think thereās places inside all of us that we donāt like to go, think about, or revisit. That was this for me. But I refuse to write something unless Iām going to be unapologetic and as authentic about it as I can. I tried to touch that place again and it was no easy feat. Itās scary to let yourself feel scared again. But I believe strongly you should never close your eyes against the darkness.
Part 5: I Think Iām Going to Die in This House
Holy water cannot help you now
Seven devils all around you, Seven devils in your house
See I was dead when I woke up this morning
I'll be dead before the day is done
The first year the guys were inside felt like sleepwalking through life. Physically present, going through the motions, but detached from her heart and soul.
She had no idea how much she relied on Jax and her dad mentally and emotionally until they were gone. She hadn't realized the strength she pulled from them, the metaphorical safety net they created in her mind, just knowing they were nearby if she needed them, until they weren't.
Cheyenne wishes she could wall Jax out of her heart and mind but loving him wasnāt a choice. It never had been. There were times she missed him so badly she felt she could jump out of her skin from the force of it.
Ā She had stumbled and struggled to be strong in the beginning. Sinking into the pits of depression. A dark hole that she felt uncertain of where the bottom lay, but by focusing on her son and the baby growing inside her, Cheyenne managed to keep moving within the darkness.
The home quieted some while she was pregnant. Edmond was actually excited she was pregnant again, having always wanted a large Irish Catholic family, and he was even more thrilled when he learned she was having a girl.
His rage was reduced to rare sudden outbursts, breaking things, grabbing her, but he never hit her. And on occasion a gentler side to him she had not seen in years even rose to the occasion.
Cheyenne had toyed with the idea of going to see Jax countless times. Tell him about the baby, but it never seemed safe and she didnāt know for certain it was his, even though her heart disagreed with the doubt in her mind.
So much could go wrong and there was nothing he could do from behind bars. She didnāt want to risk it. She already felt like she was walking on eggshells.
Too much room for people to put the pieces together. So Cheyenne kept away. Only visiting her dad on days she felt confident Jax didn't also have visitors.
It wasn't until the birth of her daughter that Cheyenne finally found her strength again. Maeve was born on a brisk winterās morning, with her mom's blonde hair, Jax's piercing blue eyes, and the family flaw. Like her father, Maeve did not require surgery, but she would require close monitoring and frequent check-ups for the small hole in her heart.
Cheyenne lied to Edmond and the doctors. She told them her mother had a family history. Having died when Cheyenne was just a baby and Tig behind bars, there was no one to contradict her.
And when Edmond believed the lie, she released a sigh of relief. Maeve looked so much like her big brother and with her fragile condition, her arrival gave Cheyenne another reason to keep fighting.
After Maeve was born, Edmond insisted she wasnāt going back to work. To the outside world he looked chivalrous. A man taking care of his family. But Cheyenne knew the truth. This was one more way to control her, isolate her, and eliminate any access to money that didnāt move through him.
Cheyenne had no idea how much she would need her inner strength until Maeve was born. She had no idea how dark her world would get. Nothing could have prepared her for that.
Two months after her daughter was born, Edmond's father, Cameron Hayes was taken out. Found strangled at a Depot in Ireland, army tag on his head.
Edmond's grief was insurmountable. Inconsolable. Merciless. He was devastated to his core. A broken man. He insisted they all go to Ireland, but Cheyenne knew better. She knew if they went to Ireland, he'd never let them leave.
With a medically fragile newborn and another small child to protect, Cheyenne refused. A decision she would pay greatly for, because in his grief, a darkness had been unlocked in her husband.
Edmond hadn't taken her refusal lightly. Greif stricken and angry at the world, he took his rage out on Cheyenne that night in a way she had never experienced before. And would never forget.
Cheyenne only remembers pieces as he savagely attacked her, but as Edmond pinned her to the floor, his hands squeezing tightly around her neck, his eyes cold and dark as they hovered over her, Cheyenne didnāt know if sheād make it out of that room alive.
Itās all fragmented memories and a terror even now her bones still remember. She woke on the living room floor alone, her first thought of Jax and the kids. Edmond nowhere in sight. Cheyenne never knew if he ran out of shame for what he had done or fear he had killed her.
That was the night Gemma learned the awful truth for certain. Battered and barely able to move, Cheyenne crawled to the kitchen and called Gemma for somewhere to heal and hide.
Cheyenne will never forget the look on Gemma face as she walked in and found her slumped against the kitchen wall and linoleum floor. And sheāll never forget finding little boy curled under his blankets, trembling as he tightly squeezed his teddy bear, having heard their fight from beyond his door.
Gemma had taken all of them back to her home, kept her and the kids safe. Called in a friend of the club to tend to Cheyenne's wounds after she refused to go to the hospital.
Bruised kidney and liver, her lip split open, her body littered with scrapes and bruises. But it was the broken blood vessels in her eyes, her swollen neck a dark shade of purple, that shook Gemma the most.
Gemma kept her word and stood against Edmond when he came looking for her and the kids. Told him at gun point, his wife and children were not going to Ireland and that was final.
Edmond had made the journey back home to mourn and bury his father alone. He was gone for months with minimal contact and Cheyenne had prayed he wouldn't return, but to her utter dismay, he eventually did.
He showed up at Gemma's one quiet morning as they were fixing breakfast. Expecting his family back, apologizing for everything, flowers and empty promises in hand. Swearing he was a changed man.
When Gemma pulled a gun and ordered him to leave, this time Edmond was ready. He pulled a gun of his own, tucked in the back of his jeans. Barrel pointed squarely on Gemma in a standoff.
āDoesnā have to be like this, but this is me family, Gemma.ā He tells her, a desperate man with eyes to match. Barking orders like Gemma is just another old lady, and in a house full of only women and children, they should comply.
Frozen, like a soul thatās left its body. Cheyenne doesnāt know what to do. She clutches her baby girl tighter in her arms as her heart races, her breath struggles. She wishes Jax was there. He would keep them safe, but once again she finds herself facing this man without him.
āEdmond please,ā Cheyenne pleads with him. Calling on his better nature. Trying to find the man she once knew. The man who once loved her.
His eyes dart to her, fleetingly. They capture her own and she swears for a moment maybe she can reach him, but then his gaze pulls away from her. Somewhere low, but nearby.
āCome āere, son.ā Edmond calls.
Alarm dilates Cheyenneās pupil as she spins around just in time to see Liam running for his father. Her husband meets the boy, gun still trained on Gemma as he scoops her son in his arms. He kisses his sonās head softly. āAtta boy.ā He praises him.
āPut him down,ā Gemma orders, her voice commanding as she draws a second hand onto the gun. āHeās not even-ā
āShut up!ā Cheyenne snaps at her on instinct. Her face whipping to the woman whoās like a mother to her, as every muscle inside her body tenses and her stomach flips.
Already knowing what Gemma was going to say and thatās a truth she would never risk her child to reveal. Not to a man desperate enough to hold them at gun point while making demands.
Tears shine in her eyes as she pleads with Gemma to understand, this is not the time for bold moves or to take chances. He has Liam and there is no calvary on the way, no one is coming to save them, and her children are at stake.
āItās ok,ā Cheyenne smiles weakly through tears. A look washes over Gemmaās eyes. Without words they speak to each other and this time itās Gemma who demands her not to do this. Already seeing Cheyenneās next move unfolding in her gaze as Gemma slowly shakes her head.
āItās ok,ā Cheyenne repeats as she turns to Edmond, trying to convince herself. Her eyes meet Liamās, she recognizes the fear in his gaze as she smiles at him, trying to be strong. āEverything is going to be ok baby.ā She tries to reassure him and quiet his fear.
If itās her life or her childrenās, Cheyenne chooses her children. Every time. Cheyenne gnaws at her lower lip as her gaze returns to Edmond. Her heart like a drum in her chest, every hair on the back of her neck standing on edge.
This man tried to kill her and now he calls her home. Every survival instinct inside of her screams to run. That instinct jumps at the edges of her skin, trying to break free, but Cheyenne swallows it like a horse pill. Denying everything coursing through her veins, because he has her son.
āLetās go home,ā She says on a quiet meek breath. Fragile and scared as she tries to tame a dragon.
Edmondās eyes dart to her as Cheyenne says the words he wants to hear. His chin nods subtly as he beckons her over with the barrel of his gun.
āWe thank your hospitalities.ā Edmond says like a gentleman, as if their stay had been one of leisure and their departure not one made under threat of violence.
Their desperate eyes meet as Cheyenne moves to her one last time. āIām trying to keep all of us safe,ā Cheyenne tries to convince them both against the caution blinding in Gemmaās eyes. The fear blinding in her own.
āThis keeps nobody safe baby, least of all you.ā Gemma warns Cheyenne.
āI love you. If something happens to me, protect my babies.ā Cheyenne leans in close for a hug as she whispers in her ear. Their eyes meet as she pulls back. Gemmaās hand desperately finding Cheyenneās cheek with a motherās touch.
āLetās go!ā Edmond barks, growing impatient, the volume of his voice rattling through Cheyenne like an aftershock. Moving through her in waves of terror.
Cheyenne swallows hard and holds Gemmaās gaze for one last moment before she turns and moves to meet her fate. Surrendering to fates hand, prison or execution, but soon enough sheāll find out.
So Cheyenne reluctantly returns to him. Knowing from the coldness of his eyes he hasnāt changed even as he tries to mask it. The loss of his father has made him a different man. A more dangerous one with less to lose.
But she prays sheās stronger too. Not the wife he left behind. Her guard in place. Counting the day until the guys get out.
Cheyenne was only home a few hours before she hears a knock at the door. Sheās surprised to find Opie on the other side when she opens it. Once a close friend, but that almost feels like another life now. Before she got married. Before she became this.
āOpie?ā Surprise hinges on her breath, narrows at her eyes as the wheels in mind begin to spin.
āCheyenne,ā Opie nods a greeting.
His eyes scanning over her, before his gaze drifts to the open door behind her. His eyes surveying whatever is available to see of the home from where he stands before his gaze returns to her.
āGemma called said you might need some help around the house.ā He says subtly, cryptically. His shoulders broad, body sturdy and solid, jaw set tight as his eyes pierce into her own.
Cheyenne searches his gaze. The eyes of a childhood friend lost along the way. Another sacrifice in a long list of many.
There was a time she could look at Opie and feel confident she knew what he was thinking, but she doesnāt know him anymore. And he doesnāt know her. She canāt tell how much he knows or what Gemma told him, but she can sense he isnāt there for home repairs.
Cheyenneās heart grows heavy with the realization of what heās doing for her. Why heās there. Somewhere along the way, trapped in this place, she lost sight of all the people who loved her.
As that reality sinks in, so does the shame. She can only imagine what her childhood friend must think of her now.
āEverything is ok right now.ā She admits on a quiet breath, before her gaze drops, her face falls as she nervously runs her tongue against the back of her teeth.
The kids are down for a nap. Edmond in the shower after his travels. Confident enough to leave her alone, because after years of it, he knows he has her where he wants her and she knows it too. He knows that after the events of the morning, sheāll keep the peace to make the chaos stop.
For the moment the home is quiet. One could almost mistake it for a loving safe place with the way Edmond treated her and the kids once they got back to the house, but she knows that could change at any given minute and judging by the way Opie looks at her, he does too.
āHere,ā Opie reaches out for her and as Cheyenne extends her hand to meet his, he slips a piece of paper in her palm and curls her fingers around it.
āMy number. In case that changes. Call anytime. Day or night.ā
Pulling her hand back, Cheyenne tucks the paper in her pocket and nods slowly before her eyes return to his.
āThanks Opie.ā Gratitude and guilt heavy in her eyes and on her breath. She appreciates what heās doing, but she also feels guilty and ashamed he knows who and what sheās become.
Heās married to a good woman, with two beautiful children of his own at home that he loves dearly. That he would do anything to protect. She wonāt put any of that in jeopardy by drawing him into this mess. A situation she feels so deeply responsible for.
āYou donāt have to stay here, you know.ā Opie tells her plainly.
A silence settles between them as the scene plays out in her mind; grabbing the kids, Opie and Edmond going to blows or worse, Edmond pulls a gun, either now or wherever Opie takes them. All because of her and the mess sheās made of her life.
No Cheyenne canāt bear that thought. Her children have already been traumatized enough today. Sheās already hurt too many lives. Opie doesnāt actually know the hornet nest he just knocked on the door of.
Opie stares at her a moment longer, his mouth opening and closing. Before a heavy hand runs down the back of his head. She can sense thereās something more he wants to say, but ultimately, he settles on one last nod before he turns and heads back to his bike parked in the driveway.
It all happened so fast. One minute Jax is waiting to make a call back home, the next he's getting shoved backwards and a phone cord is coming down around his neck.
It unfolds too quickly for him to form any sort of real defense. He knew something was coming. The way the guys all filed out of line for the phone. Every sense inside of him warned an attack was imminent as the Russian steadily approached him.
But nothing could have prepared Jax for the feel of burning heat as that shank pierces through him, one- two- three times. The pain is instantly agonizing and overwhelming to his senses.
Jax feels helpless as the phone cord releases from his neck, blood staining his shirt as it spills from his wounds, and he slides to the concrete floor below unable to stand.
The asshole who stabbed him mutters something in Russian to his face like he understands, but all Jax can focus on is breathing as his body trembles and shakes from a mortal wound.
Lying against the cold cement floor, Jax tries to access the damage as he struggles to breathe. Every breath growing harder than the last. He's been stabbed in the chest. A blow he's sure was meant for his heart, but he's not sure if it reached it as he grunts and fights to stay alive.
Liam and Cheyenne fill his mind. Their faces drive him on. Knowing how much they need him. Jax grunts as he forces himself to breathe, forces himself to keep living. Living for them. This isn't the plan. He has to get out of here. He has to get his family somewhere safe.
Jax can feel the blood soaking up his shirt, he can feel it pooling around him as he gasps and struggles just to breathe.
But Jax refuses to surrender. Refuses to give up and die, even as he feels the life draining out of him with each labored breath.
He won't do that to them. He can't. He's all they have. And Jax knows better than anyone what will happen to his family if he doesn't get out of here and rescue them.
He can't let that happen. Won't let that happen. He loves them too much. So despite the excruciating burning pain in his chest, the struggle to breathe as his lungs fill with blood, Jax keeps fighting.
Abuse is such a strange thing to describe to someone who hasnāt experienced it. How someone would remain near a person after they hurt you. How it rewires your nervous system. How it warps reality. Makes a person question everything they know, themselves most of all.
Abuse is like a demon lurking in the shadows. Often visible only to those who get tangled in its grasp. The thoughts that circle, swirl, and drown the mind. The cycle that can leave a person as confused as the games the perpetrator plays.
Monsters are rarely monsters all the time. If they were, theyād never catch their prey. Itās the good times, the quiet times, that contrast that twists the mind around and feels like madness.
Until a sleeping giant awakes. Itās the contrast that creates hope for change long after the candle of hope has been snuffed out.
Abuse feeds on shame. The shame they serve up every time they knock you down to size. The shame of finding yourself there in the first place. The shame of returning even when all logic says to run. The shame of others finding out. Abuse is insidious. Itās progressive. Like a parasite that slowly eats away at the soul until only a shell remains.
Edmond had kept his word and for a few months after returning home, things were quiet. No angered outbursts, no violence. His control was subtle, but less scary. His demands mundane. Cheyenne had learned long ago how to navigate that side of him.
For a moment she thought the loss of his father, getting to have time back home had turned a page in him, but the last few weeks reaffirmed that hope had been misplaced.
He was never going to change. He hadnāt lashed out, but a quiet tension was brewing, building around him, building in the house. Like a simmering pot, slowly coming to a boil. She knew the signs. She just didnāt know when or where the levee would break.
Cheyenne can pinpoint the exact moment she lost all remaining faith in Edmond. The moment she realized he had no redeeming qualities. The moment that taught her she could never let her guard down with him. No matter what promises he made. And whatever sense of safety she had left was false and misplaced.
She had convinced herself all these years the children played by a second set of rules in Edmondās heart. That the children he believed to be his own were somehow spared and immune to his reckless rage. Like so many life lessons before this one, Cheyenne had to learn the hard way she was wrong.
Three weeks before her father and Jax were scheduled for release, Liam had just turned five, Maeve barely 6 months oldā¦ When the levee finally breaks.
Cheyene is fixing dinner for her family when the dam bursts and nearly swallows them all alive. The day was an unseasonably warm September evening as the breeze blew in from the open windows while Edmond sat slumped in his recliner. One half print of whiskey down and working his way through another.
It is barely past five o'clock and he's been drinking for hours. Knowing the signs, knowing this means there is a very real chance things aren't going to go well for her tonight, Cheyenne tries to ignore him. Keep out of his way and keep the peace as she focuses on her kids and keeps her hands busy putting together a nice meal for her family.
Praying if she just stays out of his way the truce between them will hold another night.
Cheyenne flashes her baby girl a smile as Maeve coos, fisting tiny pieces of banana before bringing them to her open mouth as she sits in her highchair. Cheyenne spots Liam out of the corner of her eye, playing with his matchbox cars on the floor in the living room.
She's not clear what starts it. She misses the moment, or maybe there was never any spark of a match outside Edmonds own irritated mind, but one moment she's cutting potatoes to go with the sausages, the next everything erupts.
One moment the world was as she understood it, the next Edmond has thrown Liamās car across the room and has him by his shoulders.
Gripping her boy tight as he shakes him and explodes. Yelling through the house in a voice that flies in Liamās terrified little face as it bounces off the walls and instantly sends Maeve crying in fear.
Cheyenne's response is immediate and sure. She knows his rage better than anyone. There is no thinking. No assessing. No wondering what to do. In that moment the most primal part of her shoots to life. A part of her she didn't even know she had dwelling inside her until she became a mother.
In an instant Cheyenne is rushing into the living room and scoops Liam into her arms, snatching him away from Edmond.
"You ok, baby?" Cheyenne tries to console him. Her voice frantic as she pulls him close, cradling his head against her shoulder as she gently rubs at his back, trying to reassure her child.
Her breath quivers, unable to hide the heartache and guilt that suddenly eats her alive, because she stayed long enough for this to happen to him.
Silently Liam nods against her shoulder, fear radiating from his voice as his arms wrap tightly around his mommy.
"Maeve's crying." His scared little voice tells her as if she doesn't already know.
"I know baby. I'm gonna get her." Cheyenne gently tells him, trying to reassure him, trying to offer him some semblance of security.
Cheyenne returns her full attention to Edmond as she cradles her son close. Feeling like a woman riding on the edge of something there's no coming back from, like a woman gone mad, because heās finally crossed a line thereās no coming back from.
Looking him square in the eye, Cheyenne doesn't flinch. "Don't ever lay a hand on one of my kids again."
Edmond's eyes narrow with disgust before his lip slowly snarls. "There my kids too."
With a quick shake of her head, Cheyenne sets him straight, so there will never be any confusion again.
"I may have to put up with your shit, but the kids are mine." Her voice is precise and lethal as her gaze drills into him.
"This family-" Edmond starts up before Cheyenne swiftly cuts him off.
"Never touch my kids!ā She screams at him. āAnd if you do, so help me God Edmond, I will cut you down. I don't care what happens to me because of it. Do you understand me?" Cheyenne swears it as her eyes drill unflinchingly into his. Her shoulders trembling, lip quivering, sheās never been more sure of anything in life.
No one hurts her children, no one. Growing up without a mother, Cheyenne had stumbled into motherhood blindly and unsure of herself or how to be a mother, but she quickly learned Gemma had instilled a lot more than she realized growing up. There is nothing that matters more and nothing she wouldn't do for her kids. Nothing.
Cheyenne moves to the kitchen to get her crying baby girl when she feels Edmond hot on her heels and following her.
Every instinct inside her body goes into high alert, but the instinct to protect her young proves to be stronger than any fear he can instill in her. Snatching the knife off the cutting board, Cheyenne turns back on him.
Their eyes meet as a mixture of disbelief and surprise hangs in his infuriated gaze. As if he didn't think she had it in her. He underestimated her.
"What are ya doin', Cheyenne?" He asks in a cool eerie voice that edges with hints of his barely contained rage.
āGet out!ā She orders; knife tightly clutched in her trembling hand, her son in the other. Cheyenneās heart pounds wildly in her chest as adrenaline courses through her veins. As every protective instinct inside her takes control.
Edmond's never touched Liam or Maeve. Never yelled at them in anger. His rage has always been reserved for her and her alone, but she regrets not using more caution. She feels like a fool for believing the children would be spared his wrath.
In that moment her heart breaks for her son, breaks that this is happening to him, breaks that he has to see this, but Cheyenne holds steadfast, because she'd do anything in this world to protect him and his sister. Including die for them. She may take Edmond's rage, but she'd never stand for it directed toward her babies.
Tension cuts through them all, suffocating the kitchen as her baby girl's cries continue to echo through the house and cut through her soul. But Cheyenne can't go to her, she can't comfort her yet, can't let her guard down with Edmond in this moment. It isn't safe as he glares at her, ready to pounce.
āI said get out!ā She screams at him again, her whole body trembling with the force of it as she clutches Liam tightly against her.
Edmond glares at her a moment longer as if to show he still controls this moment, and every moment in her pathetic life. The eyes of a man not to be trusted.
Ā Letting out a heated huff, Edmond shakes his head. "Fookinā bitch," He mutters under his breath before storming past her and out the front door.
Cheyenne spins around, following his every move, keeping her eyes on him until heās out of the house. Once the door slams, she races to lock the deadbolt. Before she moves to her crying baby girl, placing the knife down on the counter, she unlatches the highchair harness and quickly lifts Maeve to her chest.
Holding her close, Cheyenne tries to calm her tears. "Shhh baby girl, mommy and brother are here. It's ok." She whispers soothingly.
āItās ok Maeve, I protect you.ā Liam whispers to his baby sister as he leans over to place a kiss on her head.
Cheyenne carries her babies over to the couch as her legs grow weak and the adrenaline starts to slip from her body. She lowers down as the tears surge and burn at her eyes.
Cascading down before she can hold them in. She settles her babies onto her lap, pulling them close against her chest as a sob chokes and gasps from her breath.
āIām stupid. Iām so fucking stupid.ā She whispers to herself as her heart breaks in tiny pieces she canāt catch.
Trembling in fear, Jax instantly fills her mind. The safest place sheās ever known. Wishing desperately he was there. Heād know what to do. Heād fucking destroy Edmond.
Cheyenne knows she just failed in the worst way possible. In a way thereās no taking back. And she sees now it wasnāt just today.
Today was just the tipping point. Sheās failed her babies from the moment she let them grow up in this home. Cheyenne sucks in a harsh shuttered breath as Liamās voice finds her.
āItās ok Mommy.ā He tries to comfort her. Her little man, trying to be a man when he deserves to just be a child. That truth shatters her heart even more.
Cheyenne snuggles her babies close. Planting kisses upon the top of their head as she forces herself to suck in a slow deep breath. She can and will have to answer to herself for this, but right now thereās something far more pressing and urgent on her heart.
Pulling back her eyes find Liamās as he stares up at her, his mind too young to fully understand what just happened.
āNobody is allowed to scare you like that. You understand, baby? Itās not ok for anyone to make you feel afraid. Iām sorry you were scared. You didnāt deserve that. Daddy was wrong. Iām never going to let anything like that happen to you again.ā Cheyenne promises through tears.
Three weeks left until reinforcements return. She has to get her kids out of here. Whatever it takes, whatever she has to do.
Cheyenne finds herself in an eerily familiar place. Scanning the numbers for the local domestic violence shelters. Toying with the business card from the latest badge to drop by her house with questions about the club and Edmond, incase she āthinks of somethingā.
Contemplating piling her kids in the car and speeding away in any direction until the gas and what little cash sheās hidden away runs out. But every option feels futile and nearly as hopeless as the place she already stands.
Instead she finds herself seated at her kitchen table across from Opie as she feeds her kids dinner. Liam chewing on a mouth full of mashed potatoes as he picks at the sausage bites with his fork. Offering her baby girl another small bite as she rests on her lap, Cheyenne turns to thank Opie for coming yet again. Trying to not let him see how shaken up she really is.
He nods like heās done nothing. Even though in this moment, heās her hero. āYou and the kids alright?ā Opie asks, his brow furrowing as his gaze passes between her and her little ones.
āDaddy got mad. He threw my favorite car and yelled at me. But mommy said thatās not allowed. Mommy said he canāt do that.ā Liam pipes up before Cheyenne can even respond as he shoves another spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth.
It always amazes and startles Cheyenne with how acutely aware he is of the world around him. A truth that leaves an ever creeping realization burrowing into her soul - she canāt shield him from this. She was a fool for ever thinking that was a possibility.
āThatās right, baby. That's not allowed.ā Cheyenne nods, a sad smile heavy on her face as she runs a gentle hand along the back of his hair. Too ashamed to meet Opieās gaze.
Opieās the first to speak when Cheyenne avoids his eyes and doesnāt offer up any more details. The air in the room suddenly heavier and even more tense than when he arrived as Opie gets the gist of what went down tonight.
āThis why Jax asked me to look out for you and the kids while heās inside?ā Opie questions, no subtlety, no beating around the bush.
Tall and broad, Opieās presence alone fills a room. He doesnāt waste time on meaningless words. When he speaks, itās direct and his words chosen.
Cheyenneās eyes shoot to him with surprise as his words land. She knows she shouldnāt be surprised to learn this and yet she is. The distance between them. All the time thatās passed since sheās spoken or seen Jax. Part of her wondered if she even crossed his mind.
āHe said that? ā¦Did he tell you anything else?ā Her voice cautious. Her heart picking up its pace.
She knows Gemma told Opie things, though knowing Gemma she suspects itās only pieces of the truth, but now she wonders what else he may be privy to about the secrets that keep her bound.
āLike the fact your boy looks like Jax?ā Opie rhetorically asks, far too casually as he nods over to Liam.
āNah, heās never mentioned that.ā He states flatly, his gaze drifting back to Cheyenne. Their eyes meeting only briefly before hers sheepishly dart away.
Cheyenne swallows hard as she looks over at her son who turns to offer her a big grin, mashed potatoes smeared across his teeth. She kisses the crown of Maeveās head. Her heart heavy with guilt.
Sheās made so many mistakes. Mistakes that just keep piling on, and she could almost live with them, if it wasnāt her children who had to pay the price right along with her.
āItās like you guys forgot we all grew up together. We use to be friends once.ā He reminds her on a long sigh. His words haunting as they echo of places that feel like another life now.
āOpie I-ā Cheyenne tries to speak. Tries to explain, but the words donāt come out.
Thereās no explaining this. Any of it. Especially not to a man she once called a dear friend, whoās now practically an acquaintance, and like so many other facets of her life, she wishes that could have turned out differently.
āYou and the kids need to get out, Cheyenne.ā Opie speaks plainly after a long silence settles between them.
Sensing she doesnāt want to talk about that secret any further and Opie doesnāt really need her to say it. He saw it in her eyes. In his heart he already knew Jax was that boyās father.
Cheyenne glances over at Liam as he pushes pieces of sausage around on his plate like she wonāt notice he isnāt really eating it. She feels the weight of her baby girl resting on her lap, her arm wrapped securely around her soft belly.
Sheās their mother. They trust her more than anyone in this world. Itās her job to protect them and give them a good life. And despite the rationalizations and fear that have held her hostage all these years, she knows this situation is unsustainable. Opieās right, they have to get out.
She turns to him. Finally meeting his gaze again as she slowly nods. āI know.ā
When the guys finally get released everyone is there to greet them. It's like a goddamn club wide holiday. The excitement and nerves racing through Cheyenne's veins can barely be contained. Sheās been on edge and jumping out of her skin all morning.
Her stomach in knots all day, unsure of what to expect. But for the first time in almost two years, a breath of hope has been lit inside her. Some semblance of a safety net is coming home. Jax has no idea how bad it's gotten, her old man still doesn't know the truth, but at least she knows theyāll be there.
She only prays they'll understand her plans moving forward. Prays they'll understand what she has to do.
Cheyenne's heart is jumping like a jackhammer against the wall of her chest, more fierce than the roar of their bike engines as the guys ride into the lot and a crowd of cheers erupt.
Jax is at the front of the pack with Clay and she can already see the croweaters swarming to get a piece of their prince returned home.
She tries not to let that irritate her. Reminding herself things are different now. She's changed and he probably has too. Whatever they had is in the past. It's about their kids now.
Her gaze drifts to her dad as Liam races to his grandpa as soon as Tig gets off his bike. Hollering in delight as he runs as fast as his little legs will go. Winning the first hug before Cheyenne reaches her dad and Tig pulls her into a tight squeeze.
"Welcome home dad." She tells him as her smile stretches from ear to ear, and a breath she feels like sheās been holding for two years finally leaves her body.
All her fears and anxiety pause for a moment with the sight of her old man's smiling face. He looks good, healthy even. His face clean cut, his eyes lit up with joy.
Despite all the shit their relationship has endured over the years, she'll always be a daddy's girl. He'll always be the man that raised her, only parent she has, and one hell of a grandpa. The man who would kill for her in a heartbeat if she asked.
Giving Liam a quick kiss on his forehead, Tig puts the little boy down as he turns to the baby resting on his daughter's hip.
"Is this my granddaughter?" He asks rhetorically, the excitement lighting up his normally guarded eyes.
"The one and only. Maeve this is your grandpa." Cheyenne laughs at the raw joy of the moment, tears surging in her eyes as she hands Maeve off to her dad.
Her heart swells in her chest as he finally holds her for the first time. She had thought about bringing the kids during visits so many times, but it never felt safe.
"My granddaughter everyone!" Tig announces to the welcome home party filling the lot, holding the baby girl proudly in the air as laughter spills from his proud smiling lips.
Cheyenne is so caught up in the joy of the moment she almost misses who Liam runs to next.
"Uncle Jax!" He hollers, running full speed across the blacktop.
Cheyenne catches the site of her little man just in time to see Jax toss their boy in the air before settling him in his arms and heading her way.
Cheyenne suddenly becomes keenly aware of Edmond moving to her side. She had almost forgotten he was there in all the excitement, but as Jax draws near it becomes painfully obvious.
The closer Jax gets the more overwhelmed Cheyenne feels. His short hair catches her eye first on approach. Unsure if sheās ever seen Jax with a close cut.
He looks handsome against the warm California sun. His body lean and hard after doing time. His shoulders broad and set strong in his leather kutte. More handsome than she even remembered. Her heart races, her breath quickens. It's a feeling that she fights to get under control.
She reminds herself that she doesn't know who he is anymore. Hasn't seen him in almost two years. And they had ended it when he went behind bars.
She hopes she'll have his support when she needs it in the days to come, for the sake of their children, but she's not sure where they fit in this plan. She's not sure of anything where he's concerned.
The inviting smirk on Jax's lips as he reaches Cheyenne draws her in as soon as their eyes meet. It's welcoming and soothing in its familiarity and ability to disarm her.
"Hey Darlin'." He greets her with a smooth swagger and irresistible charm no one does better.
Cheyenne finds herself leaning in for a side hug as he reaches for her, but Jax catches her by surprise as he pulls her close against him and places a quick kiss upon her cheek. Itās a bold move and they both know it.
The feel of his touch, of having his arm wrapped around her, the brush of his lips on her skin - for everything Cheyenne had mentally prepared for that day, she hadnāt prepared for this.
Jaxās touch sends butterflies a flight in her stomach, goosebumps prickling on her flesh, and that unmistakable tug, pulling, reaching for him inside.
Their eyes catch as Jax pulls back. Those piercing blue eyes that suck the air out of her lungs with a glance. She thought she had gotten a handle on her love for Jax, but seeing him now, Cheyenne knows that was misguided and wishful thinking.
But she also knows that's something she can't let show. Not with Edmond and her dad watching their interaction.
Jax offers Edmond a quick nod and Cheyenne instantly picks up on the coldness that narrows in his eyes and squares at his shoulders. Thereās a shift in Jax as he looks at Edmond. Something different then before. She can sense without him needing to say it. Heās done pretending.
Jax turns back to Tig as if Edmond disappeared entirely. His focus zeroing in on the baby girl in Tigās arms.
"And who's this little beauty?" Jax asks, the shift in his breath something only Cheyenne would recognize.
His gaze catches Cheyenne briefly out of the corner of his eyes. Subtle, but the unspoken question in his pupil sends her heart pounding for a different reason.
"That's my baby sister Maeve." Liam explains from Jax's arms, like the proud big brother he is.
"Is that so?" Jax plays along. "Do you protect your little sister?"
"I take care of her. Nobody messes with my sister." Liam nods confidently, taking his big brother duties very seriously for a five-year-old.
Cheyenne's heart crushes in her chest as father and daughter finally meet for the first time. She's filled with a gut churning guilt as she watches Jax turn to his baby girl, reaching out as Maeve takes ahold of his finger and starts to giggle when Jax pretends to eat her hand.
A smile twitches on the corner of Cheyenne's lips. Tears sting at the edges of her eyes as she struggles to remain neutral while her throat tightens with emotion.
She finally sees the weight of her choice to keep Maeve and Liam from Jax while he was in prison. To keep his daughter from him for the first year of her life.
Like so many other choices sheās made, Cheyenne is finally having to face the truth she made the wrong one and it has cost the people she loves the most dearly.
Watching father and daughter share a moment only she understands the full weight of, Cheyenne is reaffirmed thereās no going back. She canāt live like this anymore. Her children canāt live like this anymore.
And now that Jax and her dad are home - A Day of reckoning has arrived.
