#somewhere between fic

The night breeze that always came in early Spring blows in through the cracked window of your bedroom and tickles over the toes of the foot poking out from underneath the quilt covering the rest of your body. You begin to stir from the middle of a deep sleep when shouting follows the breeze. In a half-asleep stupor your eyes begin to flutter open in response to the growing commotion outside. Your eyes peel open the rest of the way to reveal it is still very late, dawn nowhere near peaking through yet. Darkness swallowing your bedroom, the only light coming from the fires still burning outside giving no real illumination to what was happening outside your small home in town. You sit up in bed and as a secondary fleeting thought, peer over your shoulder at the other side of the bed. Your so-called husband was absent, as per usual. This did not worry you despite the angry shouting coming from the street. Your husband often did not come home; usually drinking himself stupid at the saloon and barely making it inside to pass out on the chair in the front room downstairs.

Your family owns the general store and is responsible for a lot of the town’s income. Your parents are very sociable people and have connections with traders and similar folk from all over the West, which causes the shelves of the store to regularly be stocked with specialty items and customers always coming in. The mayor’s son is mean, ugly, and stupid. You resent your parents for agreeing to give your hand to him despite what it would do for your family. You could keep books, were well-read, and enjoyed challenging yourself intellectually which intimidated and angered your new husband. When you were married six months ago you felt like you had been demoted in life. Arthur wouldn’t admit it but you were almost sure he couldn’t read at all, let alone provide for you in other ways. All the money you had came from his daddy and the small allowance your parents still provided you, which, now that you were married, was really provided to your husband. He spent most of the money and his time at the saloon while you were then able to go about your business in peace. It wasn’t at all the life you wanted, but there wasn’t much you could do about it.

The moment you were made aware you were to be Arthur’s wife, you went straight to Mrs. Logan’s place. She isn’t a formally trained doctor, but had delivered every baby and set every bone in town since before you were born. You had grown up around her home and spent your childhood playing with her own kids. You loved playing with her youngest, Mellie, but learned the most from the older boys, twin brothers Clyde and Flip. You whispered about boys and joked around with Mellie, but Flip had taught you to shoot a pistol and how to throw a punch when you were thirteen and one of the store’s patrons tried to touch you. He was loud, gregarious, and never hesitated to start or join a fight. Clyde was the opposite side of the coin in that way. He was quiet, gentle, and could usually be found at his Mama’s side learning from her. He taught you how to saddle your own horse, keep cuts and scrapes clean to prevent infection, and make tea to help with nausea or insomnia among many other things.

You came to Mrs. Logan in search for a way to prevent pregnancy. You spoke in hushed voices as she instructed you how to administer the tinctures she would give to you along with other ways to prevent Arthur from impregnating you. She was a second mother to you and knew this marriage is not what you wanted. You still had to lay with Arthur, that was unavoidable. Though if you could help it you would never have a family with him. When you went to the Logan house two months after your wedding, it was Clyde who met you at the door and you were too embarrassed to explain why you were there, so you left without the things you would pick up each month.

You were always partial to Clyde’s gentle nature, and would never forget the day when your youngest sister came into the world four years ago. Your mama woke you up early in the first hours of the morning, crying and moaning with pains in her belly. She said my sibling was comin’ and we needed to help her get to Mrs. Logan’s since my daddy was out of town on business. Mrs. Logan herself was recovering from a horse stepping on her and breaking several of the bones in her hand, and so when we walked in the door she went and got Clyde out of bed. My mama squeezed our hand and Mrs. Logan’s uninjured one as Clyde sat between her legs and helped bring my sister Annie to us. His eyes were locked on your face almost every time he looked away from what he was doing, and at that moment you felt more deeply for Clyde Logan than you ever had for anyone else. You don’t know if you’d call it love, but you trusted him more than your own husband, that’s for damn sure.

Clyde’s introduction to midwifery came only a year after he lost his left hand and forearm. His daddy had taken him and Flip out hunting when a small band of thieves came and robbed their small camp. They shot their daddy dead and got Clyde in the arm. By the time Flip got the both of them home, the infection was so bad there wasn’t any other option but to amputate his arm right below his elbow. He was sixteen then and became even more reserved and introverted after the surgery, mostly due to the incessant teasing from other boys in town. Even now as he owned the saloon and ran it all on his own on top of working alongside his mama, men in town bullied him and women mocked him.

Your trance is broken by his gruff throat clearing. Your eyes quickly snap up to find him already looking at you. “Well,” he takes a big breath, “I ‘spose I should start with the worst bit. I’m sorry to tell ya that yer husband is no longer breathin’ air on this earth.” Your eyebrows shoot up, not quite surprised but shocked that Clyde was starting the story this way. “Alright,” you say back, “And what does that have to do with the town catchin’ fire?” His pout deepens as he continues. “I was tendin’ bar and he was already dead drunk, so I refused to refill his glass. He got mighty cross with me, and started hootin’ and hollerin’ about how I was a lousy barman and such. That didn’t really bother me all that much until he started goin’ off ‘bout ya.” You weren’t surprised by this, either. When Arthur would get particularly smashed he would start goin’ off on you about how you haven’t given him a baby yet, or how you read too much, or that the Logan boys knew more of you than he did. What confused you was why he thought that would bother Clyde so much. “What’d he say about me? Couldn’t have been so bad to leave the town in flames.” Your confusion made Clyde feel guilty, like he wasn’t explaining well enough. “I couldn’t bear to repeat the words he said against ya, Darlin’, but they were not the words a man says regardin’ his wife that much I know for sure. He spat at me ‘I know ya got a lil crush on my woman, but she could never love a man like you. Hell, you ain’t even a full man!’ which I’ve also heard before, as you know.” Clyde looks down to his lap, his hand now nervously rubbing against where his other arm stopped. He didn’t deny the part about having feelings for you, and it made your heart race. However, you didn’t want to bring it up and have him not finish his recounting of the night. You scoot closer to him and take his hand in both of your own, rubbing soothing patterns on his skin to encourage him to keep going. Clyde gives you a thankful smile before starting again. “I tried my best not to react, but that’s when he started spewin’ awful lies about ya, the most disrespectful sorta things that made me so damn mad. I just couldn’t stand there and let him keep goin’, ‘specially with the saloon full’a open ears. I came ‘round the bar and told him he better quit.” You could see in Clyde’s body shaking that he had not so soon forgotten his anger and remembering this was hard for him. You lifted the hand on top of his and rubbed up his arm to his shoulder to keep him calm. “It’s alright, Clyde. It’s all done now, so just tell me what happened next.” Your soft smile was a reminder to him that you deserved to know what happened, even though it scared him that after you knew, you wouldn’t want to associate with him anymore. Nevertheless he continued: “Well as you can imagine, Arthur did not heed what I said and told me you were a woman who should start pirootin’ as much as you had your nose in a book. I couldn’t take anymore and so I punched him square in the mug, and he went flyin’ back. Before I tell ya the rest, just know I love how much ya read, Darlin’. You were always so smart and I’d love to read with ya more one day.” You can’t help but smile at his aside, at how he felt it necessary to interrupt himself with the thought. You nod your head slowly and reply “Thank ya, Clyde. I know yer a big reader yerself, I’m sure we’d have a grand time readin’ together. If you ever finish this story, that is,” you finish with a joking jab to his ribs. He smiles at you showing his deep dimples and squeezes your hand underneath his own.

“Well, Darlin’, when he flew back the cigarette in his mouth flew out and landed on the ground underneath the table where some men were playin’ cards. There was a lot of spilled liquor there and in a flash the saloon was lit up. Not much time passed before the fire started jumpin’ from roof to roof, I only had time to run out and stuff Clem’s bags full before comin’ for ya. I didn’t even think about draggin’ Arthur outta the saloon, and I’m deeply sorry for that. There was just so much commotion all the sudden and all I could think about was you alone and asleep none the wiser.” Clyde’s eyes look into yours with the deepest sincerity and your heart melts. You could see how deeply he felt for you and your stomach was flipping around like a fish out of water. You sit silently for a while trying to process what happened in your town. “What about the others,” you start, “My parents, your Mama. Oh God, Clyde, what about Flip?” Clyde couldn’t help but feel warm at you worrying more about his own family than the fact that he was essentially responsible for your husband’s demise. “Mama left a few days ago to see Mellie in West Virginia, that’s where we’re headed. Before I went to fetch ya Flip told me he’d follow us once he helped contain the damage. He had to stay bein’ the Sheriff’s deputy n’ all.” He then dropped his smile before looking back at you. “The general store lit up so fast, Darlin’. There wasn’t a spare second to try and get out yer Ma and Pa. I’m so sorry, I wish I coulda done more.”

Before you could respond he pulls you into his lap to embrace you tightly. You were sad to learn of your parents’ passing though you had grown distant from them since your engagement. You honestly felt so lucky that Clyde had come to wake you up and save you. You would have been burnt to a crisp if it weren’t for this man. You squeeze him back with all your might, feeling his nose in the crook of your neck. It might be poor timing, but feeling him pressed against you made the heat in your belly spark to life, and the feeling of his breath down your neck made you shudder. You wanted to show Clyde just how grateful you were and what he means to you.

You lean back to stare into his eyes looking back at you before you grab his face with both hands and lock his plush lips to your own. His shock dissipates after a moment before his arms are wrapped around your back and he’s moving his lips hungrily against yours. Your body is on fire while simultaneously covered in goosebumps. Your fingers rake through his sweat damp hair and you hear him moan softly into your mouth. He gingerly swipes his tongue across your lips, asking for entrance. You heartily accept, your mouth opening and letting his tongue take control. The feel and taste of his tongue is like nothing you’ve ever experienced; the hot, wet dominance it brings makes you involuntarily rut against him in his lap. You both gasp but don’t stop your ministrations. Clyde’s arms have you pressed against him as much as possible, not a sliver of space between the two of you. Your hands skirt down and begin to unbutton his shirt, desperate to feel the skin you had admired earlier. He regrettably pulls away from you, breathing heavily. “Darlin’,” he pants, “I really care for ya, before we go any further I want ya to know that. I ain’t just doin’ this for kicks.” You smile wide at him and lovingly rub your thumb across his cheek. “I know, Honey. I feel somethin’ fierce for ya too, honest. Now keep kissin’ me before I go crazy.” You lean in to continue to kiss his pink swollen lips before he stops you again. You look at him with a hint of rejection behind your eyes, and he blurts out his next words to stop you from full-on spiraling. “I have to tell ya somethin’ else. I, uh, well I, haven’t been with anyone this way before. I just don’ wanna disappoint ya.” You could have easily melted right there if he wasn’t holding you so tight in his embrace. “Clyde, that don’t mean nothin’ to me. I wanna be with you this way because I feel for you and wanna show you. Do you feel strange that I’ve been with someone this way? Because I can tell you right now it’s already better than all the times I’ve been with Arthur combined.” You give him a reassuring smile which he returns before he leans in to catch your lips with his own again.

You get his shirt off of him and the feeling of his skin under your fingertips is better than you imagined. You quickly pull your own shirt out of your pants and pull it over your head only to press yourself against him again. You both shudder at the feeling, and Clyde breaks your kiss to admire yore bare chest. He looks to you for confirmation before softly and sweetly kissing all the way down your neck and chest before taking one of your breasts into his mouth. His tongue swirls around the erect nipple while his large hand kneads the other. You pull the hair at the nape of his neck, now shamelessly rolling your hips into his. It’s only moments before you can feel his stiff length through his jeans which only spurs you on more. You moan at the gentle bites he litters across your breasts, his hand now gripping your hip and guiding your motions against him. “Clyde, please, I want you.” you rasp out, desperate now to feel him on top of you, inside you.

He shuffles onto his knees and lays you tenderly on your back against the blanket you were sitting on. You quickly shrug your pants off and help him unbutton his. As his pants come down his length springs free, bobbing at attention. Your jaw drops at the sight of him. The only naked man you’ve seen was Arthur, and it wasn’t too much to look at frankly. Clyde was long and thick, the veins bulging around his length making you even more eager to have him inside you. You look up at him and he gives you the same rub to your cheek that you gave him moments ago before climbing over you. Your legs spread open to accommodate his wide frame and his eyes trail down to look at your glistening center. Another moan escapes his mouth as his fingers follow his eyes, trailing down your chest and stomach, all the way down to your core. You inhale sharply as his fingers tease your folds, feeling how wet you are for him. You’ve never been this wet before, it was surprising for both of you. His shorter arm bracing his weight at the side of your head, his fingers begin to push at your entrance. You grip his biceps tightly and frantically nod your head, silently begging for him to enter you. He doesn’t take his eyes off of your folds as he slowly slips two fingers inside you, feeling you instantly tighten around him. “God almighty, Honeybee, you feel so amazin’ and I’ve only felt ya with my fingers. Let me get ya ready for me, alright?” You smile sweetly at him and he begins to pump his fingers in and out of you, sending you reeling in bliss. This already felt so indescribably delicious, you can’t even imagine how good his cock is going to feel. After a few moments of listening to your moans morph into whimpers, Clyde removes his finger and grabs his length. He runs the head of his cock up and down your pussy, getting it wet enough to slide into you. He looks you straight in the eyes as he finally sinks into you, a guttural moan erupting from deep in his chest. You forget to breathe until he starts moving, slow and deep. Your hands are wrapped around him, grasping for purchase across his back, anything to try and ground you. He was so large in every way – you felt completely encased in him as he thrusted into you. Only moments after he began you were only able to cry his name and to beg for more.

The elation you were feeling compared to nothing you had experienced in your life. You felt so safe, so close to him as his arm rubbed up and down your body wherever he could reach. His eyes never left yours and it only made the feeling that much more intense. You could feel your stomach getting tighter and tighter, and your breath getting shorter and shorter. Clyde’s hand left your breast to rub his thumb at the bundle of nerves right at the top of your pussy. How he knew about this as a supposed virgin, you couldn’t say. You would have to ask later because after just a couple of swipes of his thumb you felt like you had exploded from the inside. The tightness in your belly released, and you felt like you were floating. You felt like you were out of your own body, yet still feeling every sensation so intensely. You grip Clyde’s neck and pull yourself up to kiss his neck and nuzzle into him while you try to gain your wits about you again. The moment your ecstasy began his hips began stuttering, accompanied with unbridled grunts and exclamations. “Darlin’, I– I’m gonna let go, I can’t hold it.” You nod into the crook of his neck, encouraging him. “Go ahead, I’m right here. Take me as your own, go on.” With that Clyde groans and slams hard into you before you feel something you have never felt: you feel his cum shoot inside you, filling you up with warmth both physically and emotionally. It keeps going and going, and soon you feel it leaking out of you from around his cock. He gives a few lazy strokes both stuffing his cum deeper inside you while the ample excess continues to leak out of you.

You would periodically stir when Clementine sped up or jostled in some other way, registering that your head was comfortably nestled back on Clyde’s shoulder, his arms wrapped around you keeping you upright. His strong thighs being the only thing guiding the horse so that he could make sure you are as comfortable and safe as you could be in this situation.

About midday Clyde stops Clementine along a more secluded part of the river that runs along your route. Despite the warmth coming from the sun you were disheartened to feel the heat of Clyde’s body leave yours when he swings his leg over and dismounts. You lean to the side and let yourself fall into his open arms, your own outstretched and gripping on to his shoulders for stability as he pulls you off the saddle. Both of you feel the ache from riding all night in your legs, taking a moment to shake them out and stretch your arms above your head. Clyde walks around to the saddle bags, rifling through them to pull out a handful of clothes and a couple of apples for his most trusted companion. After feeding Clem he guides you down to the water to wash away the sweat and dirt that had accumulated on both of your bodies.

You stood stock still staring at each other for a moment. Finally Clyde clears his throat to speak. “I don’t mean to be improper or nothin’, it’s just that I only got the one bar of soap and this is the most secluded part of the river. I promise I won’t look atcha, just want ya to know I ain’t tryin’ to trick ya into nothin.” Clyde barely meets your eyes as he tries to explain himself. You smile at his sincerity and nod back at him, unable to form words to respond. “I’ll go in first and let you know once I’m under, that sound alright?” You offer the proposition to make it the least uncomfortable for the both of you. He furrows his brows and pouts before nodding in agreement. Clyde then turns around on his heel and attempts to make the vast open view seem captivating, trying very hard not to think about you getting undressed and being naked under water right in front of him. You walk down to the water’s edge and remove both of your boots, placing them on a large rock next to you. You then swiftly remove your hat and lift the light nightgown over your head, placing both items next to your boots. You quickly step into the river, feeling the goosebumps rise across the flesh of your body as the chilled water makes contact. You bend your knees a bit so that the water covers your body up to your shoulders and then wrap your arms around your chest. After taking a centering breath to calm your anxiety, you call out to Clyde that it’s okay to come on in. To pay him the same respect he gives you, you turn around so your back is facing him as he strips off the dirt and sweat soaked shirt and pants. You hear him walk into the river behind you, the ripples of the water softly crashing against you. “Erm, here Darlin’, you can wash up first. I’m gon’ be just over there if ya need anythin’.” His voice makes you aware of how close his naked body is to yours and you shudder before reaching your hand out, to which Clyde places the bar of soap in your palm.

As you scrub the soap across your skin you can’t help but steal glances at Clyde. When you were growing up you always knew he was a strong boy and only grew into a stronger man. When you were supported by his body during the night you could feel the taught muscle and solid core underneath his clothes. It was another thing entirely to see his toned back and arms as he was faced away from you. The curves of muscle across his back and the lines of definition in his arms had you losing focus from your washing several times. The warmth you felt in your belly the night before had returned with a new strength, driving you to imagine what it would feel like to dig your hands into that back, to caress his arms with your fingers and lips. You were absentmindedly lathering the soap into your chest while daydreaming, being pulled back to reality when you heard a sharp gasp. Your eyes flit up to meet Clyde’s own locked on yours. You cant help yourself but to let your eyes fall to the wide, muscular chest that was pressed up against you just a short time ago. You don’t shy away, you don’t feel embarrassment. You are completely and willingly drowning in the skin exposed to you. When your eyes finally drag back up from the hair below his belly button to his abdomen, climbing up his sinewy neck and back to his eyes, you see his gaze is unabashedly on your own bared skin. He’s looking at all of you but keeps coming back to lock onto your breasts. Nipples pebbled from the cold water and his stare, they stand at attention for him. Your arms fall to your sides and you see his Adam’s apple bob with a deep swallow as he takes in every curve, every stretch mark, every bit of soft flesh available for him to devour with his stare. Neither of you say anything; you just stare at each other’s bodies with desire and also reverence. When you eventually meet each other’s eyes again, you give him a bashful smile before reaching your arm out to silently hand him the soap. He gives you a smile in return, the red splotching from his neck to the tips of his large ears as he accepts your offering. Your hand grazes his as he takes the bar from you and you shudder. The silence continues as you slink down under the water and continue to watch him clean the dirt from his own skin.

Once he finishes bathing, Clyde reaches his long arms out to the clean pile of clothes he placed on a large stone near where he stood waist deep in the river. He slips the fresh shirt over his arms and around his shoulders before peeking behind his shoulder to give you a silent indication he was stepping out. You once again turn around so Clyde can leave the river and put on a clean pair of britches. After he fastens the top button he calls out to you: “I’m gon’ go check on Clem, I left some clothes out for ya.” As you turn back to face him he is already walking back up the bank to his horse. You step out of the river and make your way over to the pile he mentioned. He had moved your boots for you and seems to have taken your nightgown to place back into the saddlebags. Before you lies a worn cotton work shirt, your buckskin hat, a pair of wool trousers, and a pair of knit socks. You get dressed and realize these must be Clyde’s old clothes from when his frame was a bit smaller. The clothes are a little baggy on you but are certainly an upgrade from what you were in before.